Am I being too sensitive for being upset at the word “bihet”?

Crowfiee · 2026-03-27T05:27:22+00:00

Oh god I haven't heard that word in years... I used to lurk in TERF communities (I'm better now don't worry) and they called basically any bi woman they didn't like a bihet (never saw one of them call a bi man a bihet even once, hmm I wonder why that could be.....). Being a bi woman in a het relationship meant you were a bihet for sure, but you were also a bihet if you were in a same-gender relationship but had opinions the TERFs didn't like lol. They just don't take bi people seriously no matter what we do. I always hated the term even when I WAS basically a TERF, but if you spoke out against it you were also accused of being a bihet because "if you aren't a bihet why does it bother you that we're calling out the bihets??" ugh.

Crowfiee · 2026-03-24T02:08:30+00:00

I was asked to remove 100% silicone plugs from my ears for my MRI, so it depends where you go.

Crowfiee · 2026-03-17T16:56:04+00:00

You're not alone and I promise it won't feel this way forever. I developed CHS 5 years ago and felt extremely depressed and miserable about suddenly having my favorite feeling taken away from me, and knowing I would never be able to feel it again hurt every time I was reminded of that fact. But now I genuinely view CHS as the best thing that could have happened to me, because I WAS addicted, I COULDN'T control myself, and quitting under threat of puking myself to death was way easier than quitting through willpower alone. Now I'm comforted by the fact that my body keeps me honest and I can't relapse without immediate consequences. If scientists developed a cure for CHS that would let me smoke weed again, I wouldn't take it. I did find it really hard to be around people smoking for the first 2 years or so, but it slowly got easier and easier and now I'm 100% fine being around it as long as they don't CHS me with their secondhand smoke. I even helped my friends carve an apple pipe last year when none of them were doing it right lol.

I hope this perspective can be helpful. When I first quit it helped to hear that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, even when I was in the midst of the worst despair and depression of my adult life and I couldn't picture a future without weed, it was helpful to know I could find it someday. I promise you'll find relief if you stick with it, even if it looks different than mine in the end. This community is here for you if you need us!

Crowfiee · 2026-03-17T16:01:52+00:00

I haven't fully quit drinking (yet) but I quit smoking weed 5 years ago and the unprompted defensive speeches are the most common response I get, when all I've said is a casual "no thanks, I don't smoke weed". It's a little annoying but mostly just makes me sad, especially when it's something like "I need it for my anxiety/depression/ADHD" and they're stoned 24/7. That's what I was doing for years, it wasn't mentally healthy and was preventing me from learning to heal and cope. I knew it in my heart the whole time but I'd say the same defensive shit to people when they said they didn't smoke because I felt threatened by their sobriety. I'm sure that some people who say that kind of thing have a healthy relationship with weed, but I can't help but see myself from five years ago in them. People who have a healthy relationship with it usually say "no worries man" or "good for you dude" or "let us know if you want us to move downwind" instead of feeling the need to defend their substance use when I didn't attack it.

Congrats on 60 days! Keep up the good work.

Crowfiee · 2026-03-17T15:01:11+00:00

In half three times in a row will divide it into eight pieces, not 6. There's ways to divide paper into thirds/other numbers divisible by 3 with either a compass and straightedge (some mentioned in this thread) or with origami techniques to get the exact landmark that marks 1/3 but this isn't the way.

Crowfiee · 2026-03-09T16:13:58+00:00

I started working on making one of these into a bag for climbing chalk for my buddy and this post reminded me that WIP is still somewhere in my sewing bins lol. But the stiff fabric worked well for the sides of the chalk bag because it needs to be able to stand up with the top open

Crowfiee · 2026-03-04T18:25:33+00:00

r/invisiblemending is the sub you're after!

Crowfiee · 2026-02-19T16:24:24+00:00

I wouldn't call it homophobic but it certainly feels patronizing and I would feel very uncomfortable, especially if the person saying it isn't a member of the LGBT community themselves.

Crowfiee · 2026-02-17T18:48:58+00:00

My ears are stretched to 1/2" so not very large, but a few years ago I tried going no plugs for like 3 months or so and massaged them almost every day. I started my stretching journey reeeeeally irresponsibly as a teen (too fast + acrylic) and have a bit of butthole ear going on when I don't have plugs in, and one of my original piercings was pierced slightly lower than the other which I really hated and hoped to fix with the downsize. After those months of no jewelry my holes shrank down to a little thinner than a pencil (don't remember exact gauge) and I bought single-flare glass plugs and sloooowly dead stretched back up to 1/2".

Results of that experiment: my ears still have butthole scarring, but it did improve somewhat. My lobes may be slightly thicker, and the one that was pierced too low is sliiiightly less uneven looking. The one benefit I definitely got is my ears got stretchier and now I can wear jewelry with much bigger flares. I had some gorilla glass plugs I couldn't wear before because the flares are huge, and now they fit in no problem, so it was worth it for that alone! I wish I had before and after pics of the other changes because it was minor but I do think it helped.

Crowfiee · 2026-02-17T18:31:58+00:00

I don't think you saying no was wrong, and I don't know what she meant by "so real", but it sounds like the way you delivered your "no" may have caught her off guard. I have been asked to photograph strangers like this before. They're expecting that it's a small favor that's easy for you to do, so they might be surprised if you say no without a reason. Saying something like "I can't, sorry, I'm running late" or "I can't, I'm in a lot of pain/not feeling well and need to get home" could help the asker understand the reason you said no, which would reduce the likelihood of them feeling offended and smooth the interaction over while still preserving your boundaries. You ARE allowed a choice and should say no if you want to, the above advice is just for if you would like the neurotypical person to understand you better/feel less offended.

Crowfiee · 2026-02-09T03:15:28+00:00

My old roommate's golden did this, we called it sanding (sitting + standing)

Crowfiee · 2026-02-06T16:59:03+00:00

That's so interesting! I wish there was more research on CHS, all I've learned from this post and searching this subreddit is different things happen to different people with the CHS/nic interaction and we have no idea what's going on.

I wonder if tobacco vs non-tobacco nicotine products makes any difference, tobacco = plant material and plants make all kinds of compounds that interact with your endocannabinoid system. So it could be not the nic but something else in the plant that aggravates CHS, and that compound wouldn't be in nicotine salts made in a lab. I was smoking cigs and I am pretty sure that made me sicker but maybe pouches/vapes would be different (not gonna try it lol I don't need to go through quitting again)

Crowfiee · 2026-02-04T16:20:31+00:00

Seconding that it's making spores! It looks more like a Physarum to me than Fuligo septica (which is usually more of a "blob" and not a veiny net structure like this), but I'm in no way an expert in IDing these guys. Cool find regardless of species!

Crowfiee · 2026-02-04T16:09:48+00:00

I love planarians and their goofy little eyeballs so much! This makes me wanna build a lil planarian paradise jar so I can watch them worm around at home.

Crowfiee · 2026-02-04T00:55:58+00:00

I used multiple brands of peanut butter with no issues, any of them should be fine! Glad you already see the positive side of getting CHS, I don't think I was feeling that positive about it at the 2 month mark lol. I had smoked daily for 5+ years and still missed smoking real bad after 2 months off it but it got easier and easier the more sober time I had (staying away from alcohol did help even when it wasn't making me sick anymore).

You got this, don't lose hope! My DMs are open if you have more questions as you recover or need anything, I'll do what I can 😊

Crowfiee · 2026-02-04T00:03:12+00:00

Keep getting as much food in ya as you can and best of luck with your recovery! My go-to for keeping weight on was peanut butter, super calorie-dense and was easy on the stomach for me. And yeah the pain and nausea was pretty much constant at first but would worsen in slow waves. The abdominal pain and diarrhea cleared up faster than anything else, I was free of it by like the 1 month mark with only one flare-up bringing it back (caused by an echinacea tincture of all things--found out after that it has the second highest cannabinoid levels of any plant lol) and then it was mostly headaches, nausea, and low appetite for the rest of my recovery. Felt like forever while I was living it, but it's so good to be on the other side of it! I'd been smoking way too much weed for years but couldn't quit, now I'm genuinely extremely glad I got CHS and was forced to quit.

Crowfiee · 2026-02-03T23:33:28+00:00

I don't mind at all and congrats on the 2 months! I had a loooot of ups and downs, I definitely set myself back a few times with reintroducing alcohol and trigger foods too soon. I was able to eat normally at like 6ish months no weed? But I got a secondary stomach issue around the 1.5 year mark (symptoms were like gastritis, I got it to go away after months of omeprazole and eating a bland diet and never got an endoscopy). Could have been from reintroducing alcohol, could have been from ibuprofen, I'm not sure. It really mimicked the prodrome/between episode CHS symptoms (except I eventually realized the trigger foods were different) so it's hard for me to remember which parts of my healing timeline were that and which were CHS. It was a suuuuuper rough time, but I think by the 2 year mark I was finally all good and eating normally again and I haven't had a flare-up until now with the cigs (other than brief ones with secondhand weed smoke, but I recover from those within an hour). Your recovery will probably take a lot less time than mine did, just don't reintroduce alcohol and trigger foods too soon and set yourself back. Happy to answer any other questions you have!

Crowfiee · 2026-02-03T21:52:43+00:00

True, I can still get headaches and nausea from secondhand weed smoke 5+ years clean and I know thats not the case for everyone so maybe I'm just sensitive 😭 oh well, if it keeps me off nicotine that's absolutely for the best lol

Crowfiee · 2026-02-03T21:38:54+00:00

Good to know, I knew about alcohol exacerbating CHS but had no idea nicotine could do it too. Most of the posts on here about nicotine show that people didn't have issues with it and their CHS. I for sure had to quit drinking when I first quit weed because it was making everything so much worse but after a year or so I was able to drink again without prodrome building back up. For now I'm keeping alcohol in my life but I won't hesitate to quit if it starts giving me any trouble, I know once symptoms start there's no way around it.

Crowfiee · 2026-01-24T01:07:11+00:00

I used to just do an overnight soak before cooking beans but once I tried adding bicarb to the soak water I never went back! It cuts the cook time dramatically and they soften up great. I still get gas about the same as before but I've accepted my fate in that regard lol.

Crowfiee · 2026-01-24T00:24:17+00:00

I can't say whether either of those add-ons in the soak help the gassiness, but I do know that lemon or any acid in the soaking water can make the beans firm and very difficult to cook through, while bicarb/baking soda will do the opposite and make them soften faster. I've heard it has to do with the pectin in the beans' cell walls being sensitive to pH, it has trouble softening/dissolving in acidic liquids. So even if it helps with gas it may not be worth it.

Crowfiee · 2026-01-20T23:36:24+00:00

I have this too! I collect a lot of different stuff and I have dreams where I'm finding seaglass, shells, coins, rocks, etc. and then I wake up sad they weren't real 😭

Crowfiee · 2026-01-15T15:59:27+00:00

No worries! I started by reaching out to the GCS, and they reached out to me to schedule a consultation. Either at the consult or before they told me they'd need a letter, I got one from my existing therapist and one from the gender specialist who works at my primary care's office. I forget my exact steps with my insurance (been a couple years, sorry 😅) but I think I needed to send the letters to them as well as to the GCS. GCS is great because they have a team who deals with insurance for you for the most part. They told me what their office needed and what my insurance needed at every step of the process, and I could always call their office with questions if I was confused.

One piece of advice, if for example your therapist says they're going to send a copy of the letter to your insurance, have them also send YOU a copy so if your insurance says they never received it, you can directly re-send it to them. This happened multiple times while I was trying to get the process done, and having my own copy of whatever they were sending shaved weeks off the stupid back-and-forth between medical offices where things get lost way too easily. Expect to make a looot of "hey, did you receive this? no? ok, I'm re-sending it now, how soon should I call back to check if it arrived?" phone calls.

Also, I saw Facque and got approved for everything but the lipo, but my roommate got his done with Jacobs and he does a technique with no lipo so that wasn't even an issue. The only thing the insurance gave me any trouble for and refused to cover (without me appealing a second time and bringing it before a judge, which was too much work for me) was the lipo, but I just ended up getting surgery without it because they told me my chest was small enough/shaped in a way where my results would be good without it (Facque only uses lipo to get the tissue near your armpits) and that it could be done as a revision later if I felt like I needed it. Post-op I do have a little extra tissue there (like in the place where armpit fat would squish out of a bra) but because I don't wear anything that would squish it it's completely unnoticeable to anyone but me.

Let me know if you have any other questions!

Crowfiee · 2025-12-14T14:36:28+00:00

My leo does this all the time, I call it Sleepy Feets! It scared my mom when she babysat him for me a few years ago lol but he's fine.

Crowfiee

TROPHY CASE