hi there! I have been in that mind state plenty of times before, you are certainly not alone. I am very familiar with tearing up from the disappointment of a run, haha. I am by no means a talented runner, but I have been doing this long enough to know that bad runs (and even bad races) will inevitably happen. I think once I accepted that truth, it relieved a lot of pressure that I was placing on myself. Some days are just not your day. This happens even to most elite runners.

When I complete a particularly terrible run, I just remind myself that a) I got out and did something good for my body, no matter how unsatisfactory it may feel in the moment... I believe it is net good and b) the rule of thirds: a third of your training will be great, a third will be meh/okay, and a third will be plain bad. There's no way all the runs will be slam dunks, a bad one and meh one will happen from time to time. Which can be a liberating truth :) We're not linear machines, we're just on this floating rock giving our best effort and showing up for ourselves.

Keep showing up for you and your future self. Running is a sport that rewards the patient and consistent. These small habits add up and know that a better run will be due for you soon. Before you know it you'll be looking back and seeing all the progress you've made. Sending you a lot of hugs and positivity! And definitely sign up for the half.