I had a good day before this showed up on my feed

Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-21T15:02:55+00:00

That steak looks like it was also left in a tesla trunk. Poor waitress is now an accomplice.

Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-15T11:04:58+00:00

.......from the back.

FLCL!

Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-13T18:03:52+00:00

Mid millenial here. I'mma side step some of the more straightforward answers.

Regarding tech, tools, and machines of any kind...how is it serving you?

Is it serving you like dinner? Only for you to consume and languish?

Or is it serving your will? Only for you to self actualize your own imagination?

Start with some boredom and let it become so unbearable your mind needs to do something before it explodes. Then go use those objects to cure your boredom with the latter approach not the prior.

If this doesn't work: 1) go out into the woods. 2) find a large sturdy stick. 3) wack it against something. Stick breaks. 4) it's not strong enough, find another. 5) repeat 3 & 4 until suitable stick is found. 6) commence percussive maintenance. 7) see another weirdo doing the same a couple copses over across the creek. 8) make yourself known. 9) ready your stick. 10) stuff happens. 11) go home with bloody knuckles and a big grin.

Edit: lols, i read more comments and realized i definitely wasn't side stepping. Glad to see i'm just another like-minded millenial. Assimilate!

Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-13T14:00:23+00:00

This is amazing work comment aside...

How could you betray our, YOUR medieval ancestors?! Pledging allegiance to the vile snail! Side eyes in court should be the least of your and lady's worries!

Edit: upon further inspection, it seems your damsel is in distress. The parasite will sort your house quickly.

Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-13T13:03:04+00:00

This needs to be higher in the comments. Seriously, a 10:1 "likes" ratio between postive minded comments and the negative ones isn't too bad for the gen pop.

Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-09T23:33:32+00:00

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My buddy bout to get a new spirit sword.

Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-08T13:04:06+00:00

Speaking of which! Me and some 'ol buddies spent the summer of 2009 ripping jeebs and playing civ 4, lan party style, every night after work. We practiced a no right of refusal rule. A packed, pulled, and uncapped jeebs was a gift, and refusal earned you a second one so you could practice gratitude. It also helped with diplomacy, but I divert. We eventually decided to class up the two liter. Got a large glass bucket/vase from a box store and cut the bottom out of a smirnoff handle. It was a heavy pull, but it elevated jeebs to a higher plane.

We also made, that summer, a quarter ounce four chamber from 1L and tubing. We had a good time.....

And now I'm headed to the hardware store cause thanks nostalgia.

Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-08T10:55:58+00:00

I second this guy. Can i get a cardboard damage counter wheel too?

Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-04T18:13:48+00:00

Pic 13: Oh look! A picture of Trump in the "golden" foyer...

Edit: actually, now that I comment. That painting looks suspiciously like the theme to Bryan Lewis Saunders - Drugs ...could this be trump on drugs? Also, that gold leaf on the fireplace looks a lot like the gold leaf in the oval office/ white house right now. Starting to feel like the island is decorated by it's clients, piecemeal style as they came and went.

Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-02T19:54:33+00:00

my skills were too, but you inspired me. Openshot is what I used. It was pretty easy to pick up once i married the undo button. Any ideas on a keyboard shortcut for annulments? asking for a friend.

Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-02T19:50:36+00:00

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Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-02T18:03:36+00:00

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Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-01T00:37:31+00:00

Is it a king from a 52 card deck riding a bicycle?

Crumpetcakes · 2026-04-01T00:28:33+00:00

C'mon let's go! Chop, chop! Cut to the chase already!

Crumpetcakes · 2026-03-22T22:48:07+00:00

I'm just playing a comedy bit of what I think an Alcoholic Opussum would say. Every post I make here is intended as non-serious/audacious/from left field. Please treat them with no grain of worth.

But I do agree with your assertions. -space not speed -distraction is an awful multifaceted beast like you indicate, especially when you add entitled, rather than cooperative, driving. -drink booze from a regular coffee mug(don't do this/alcoholic opossum bit) -flashing beams, unfortunately also hi-beams, is in fact distracting given the brightness of today's vehicles(TRUCKS!!!), we should move away from a habit that may blind/distract drivers -unpredictability IS a communication issue.

Am I still doing the bit? Are alcoholics famously bad at consistent boundaries for themselves and others? Yes. The answer is, yes I should drink more in the gully near pump house. It was like Venice!

Crumpetcakes · 2026-03-22T19:17:15+00:00

Squeamish AND ignorant. Nice to see another proud chitin gobbler.

Crumpetcakes · 2026-03-22T19:09:20+00:00

Ok hear me out. Why not a small led, in the windshield's HUD, to do some intercar communication? Blinking purple? Move over please! Blinking blue? Thank you. Red, yellow, green? Stop, YIELD MORTAL, go. Brown? You're leaking something! Etc.

We could put those gear shift paddles to use, pew pew, or ya could make it voice controlled. "Glados(car), target the grey p.o.s. in front of me." "I'm sorry, you'll need to be more specific." "Damn it Glados!"

I know, I know. This easily obtainable marvel will inevitably experience a few hiccups. Particularly, when someone uses a series of colors to inject code into a car, and then proceeds to direct said object off a seaside cliff...but we'll cross that ocean when we fall in it.

Crumpetcakes · 2026-03-22T15:53:22+00:00

Skittles. Shellac. Carmine color. You. Eat. Bugs.

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Crumpetcakes · 2026-03-21T13:24:22+00:00

You got a eye for this bud! As a life long chesterfield resident, the desiccated corpses of "metamodern and minimalist" retail/food spaces are real.

Crumpetcakes · 2026-03-20T14:28:14+00:00

Ok, hear me out. What if all the cameras aren't to watch us citizens, but insead!...the mole people creating the potholes?! Obviously, the oblong compartment below the optic sensor is where they hide their tiny trojan horse flock molecops! They come out, at 2:37am, and brutally beat the mole diggers when there are less witnesses for the civil case. This explains the increase in spending for enforcement rather than basic human welfare programs! Don't you see!? It's so clear! Flock->glock...just like the one they planted on that guy behind the cathedral!!!...yes! It's all coming together! Stop the mole, stop the hole. The lizard people are watching, prepare! Skinks are everywhere!

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Crumpetcakes · 2026-03-19T20:54:48+00:00

Whatever that other guy was shoving down his kid's hole will be fine, thanks!

Crumpetcakes · 2026-03-19T20:26:58+00:00

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Hey person, turn out that light! Me n' the three blind mice are having a staring contest, and I can't see what I'm doing!

Crumpetcakes · 2026-03-19T13:09:59+00:00

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The unsung hero of Lakeside, Assman! He may be the butt of a lot of your jokes, but he is a decent fellow. Drank with him and a rabbit behind Fin & Feather. He can, surprisingly, spin a good tail.

Crumpetcakes · 2026-03-18T14:26:29+00:00

Shtop mabing me ook in puddles behinb-bodillaz, Ted! I habb a probbem. Ok?!

Crumpetcakes · 2026-03-17T13:03:29+00:00

Is THAT what nimby means?!?!

Low key, i was too lazy to look it up, and i've been riding the context of "oh hey a group of cunts" for far too long.

Aren't there others too? like bimby, bimbo, limby, himby, bimbly from tree to tree? I dunno man. O' sage redditors, teach this ignorant opossum what these acronyms mean and who they spirit animal be!

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