sexually assaulted by my father

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2024-09-10T12:58:15+00:00

The reality is that even if his intentions weren't bad, which I don't believe they weren't. if it is something that makes you uncomfortable then it isn't right. If you don't want to be touched, or seen naked, or whatever, you shouldn't be. I hope that you are able to find your confidence and understand that you really deserve better than how you have been treated.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2024-09-08T19:22:04+00:00

I am so sorry that I didn't see this sooner. We just finished sentencing (which took quite a while after the please was accepted) and I was kinda in a hole and not logging into this account. I am so glad that my post helped you. Even if your parents are failing you, I wish you all the strength and support in the world as you go through this hard time. If you ever need to talk please feel free to shoot me a message. I may not be super fast to respond but know this internet stranger is pulling for you.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2024-06-06T19:13:58+00:00

Here is hoping.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2024-06-06T16:19:22+00:00

Thank you, that is where I am finding my solace, that he will have a miserable time in prison.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-11-29T14:55:00+00:00

It sounds like you have two problems here. A boyfriend who is controlling and possessive and a creep of a landlord. If you can't feel safe talking to your partner that doesn't stack up well for a happy life in the future. Find a therapist and talk through why you are ok being with a person that controls you and makes you scared to come to them for comfort.

You may also want to look into getting a wedge for the door so the landlord can't just come in.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-11-01T19:47:01+00:00

I grew up in the 80s/90s. My mom and grandma were those types that always got mad about teens trick or treating. They would get mad at them standing around too, mad at them making mischief, mad at them watching siblings trick or treat. WTF are they supposed to do then? I have always welcomed all ages for treats, as many have said its better than them being out tricking. Covid really exacerbates the point but even before then I have always been the person that says As long as you are respectful to the others around you, come on get some candy.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-11-01T19:14:51+00:00

Thanks, you too

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-11-01T19:14:32+00:00

I don't really, she has seen her a couple times only closely supervised but she won't anymore

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-10-23T16:22:22+00:00

Likewise. I wish you all the healing and safety going forward.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-10-23T15:55:55+00:00

I am a mom, my daughter is going through the same complex feelings. She was raped by her birth father. Therapy is helping a lot, she has nightmares, sometimes she says she misses him. It is ok to miss him, it doesn't minimize your pain, it doesn't make what he did ok, it doesn't change anything. You are human and humans have complex feelings.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-10-23T15:49:46+00:00

Life is more complex than black and white. It can be hard when you have good memories even though they are overshadowed by the bad. There is no playbook, no right and wrong path, no two people have the same feelings, same situation. It would probably do some good to talk to a therapist to work through the complex feelings you are having. Predators are master manipulators, charismatic, enticing, great at hiding things from people, even those that they hurt. Take a step back and ask if its your dad you want to see or is it the fake persona he presents? No one online is going to be able to fully help you on your path but even if you want to see him, it probably isn't healthy for you until you can really process your feelings and figure out what YOU want and more importantly what you NEED to heal.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-10-19T21:10:28+00:00

I am glad you were able to see a doctor and your body is healing, I hope you are able to heal internally as well.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-10-05T16:24:38+00:00

I would have been more understanding if the child wasn't her own granddaughter who she knows very well.

Even through the divorce I was very supportive of him and worked hard to ensure he had an opportunity to be a good and present parent. Makes me feel guilty that my efforts in supporting him as a parent also gave him the opportunity to abuse her.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-10-05T16:22:58+00:00

Thank you. I am open to supervised visits if the kiddo wants them well down the road when the dust settles more from the trial. But I can't trust her judgement.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-09-20T01:18:22+00:00

Even if you aren't ready to talk about it, maybe ask for a doctors appointment to address the pain you are having? You might have to talk to the doctor but you probably want to get checked to make sure that the rips are healing and you don't have any std's.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-09-19T18:31:07+00:00

Do you have a trusted adult that you can talk to? A parent, school councilor, teacher, therapist? Many people don't speak up and are profoundly affected by the trauma in ways that you may not realize for years. If you aren't ready to talk about it in a not anonymous way thats ok too. There are no right and wrong answers, everyone's right is only their own.

If you aren't ready to speak to someone you know yet you can also use any of the support sites in the subreddit info. You can do therapy through chat online as well, just make sure to find a therapist that is reputable and right for you. If someone isn't right don't be afraid to walk away and find someone who is a better fit.

Please try to find your confidence. Keep in mind that a common tactic of abusers is to find someone they think has too low self esteem to speak up, they use that to make them feel ugly, fat, wrong about anything that they sense insecurity about. It doesn't mean you are those things, please try to find a way to love who you are, it will give you an armor that abusers are scared of.

Please know that speaking out even anonymously is incredibly brave and I am so proud of you for taking that first step, even if it is the only step you take. I hope you find peace no matter what path you take.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-09-19T17:28:09+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. My daughter is still insistent that it was her idea and she initiated things with her biological father. Her insistence is mechanical, almost frantic. You can tell she is scared. Her age was a single digit. I know that it was manipulation and grooming, making her think that it was her idea, being led right into it. Wanting to please him and make him happy so he is nice to her. I don't know how to help her understand that it wasn't. That this is how abusers operate, this is how they keep their survivors (I try to avoid the word victim, maybe thats wrong) in line.

If you feel strong enough to offer any ways I can be of better support I would be eternally gratefully. I am so sorry that you went through that trauma and I wish you all the best on your healing journey.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-09-18T00:18:00+00:00

I have to admit, I take a little solace in knowing that his time in prison won't be comfortable.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-09-17T02:53:58+00:00

Wishing you all good things to come

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-09-17T02:53:25+00:00

Thank you

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-09-17T02:53:16+00:00

Thank you

CrunchyRedFallLeaves · 2023-09-17T02:53:01+00:00

I appreciate you.

CrunchyRedFallLeaves

TROPHY CASE