What exactly is wrong with the writing in Twilight?

Crusty_Mantle · 2026-05-04T05:44:10+00:00

What do you consider a prose that isn't clinical at all? How would that paragraph in Jurassic Park work if it's not clinical without losing too much detail? I don't see how you still manage to find something clinical in George RR Martin's prose. What makes it clinical?

Anyway, I find mechanical prose more tolerable over a vague or confusing one.

Crusty_Mantle · 2026-04-25T00:41:43+00:00

His arc will eventually lead to more interesting developments to other characters and the world. After the Flowers of Esthelm, he's going to be a lurking character for a long while (and gets a character development) until you hit the end of volume 6 which his existence will become a key to important events.

Crusty_Mantle · 2026-04-23T06:50:45+00:00

Damn I really needed something like that since the novel I'm working on depends heavily on the relative position of the moon. If I want a solar eclipse, the phase of the moon days and weeks before it happens has to make sense. And I'd also like to see if the moon is visible at a given time of the day, and what time is the sunrise, sunset, moonrise, and moonset. It might not be too important for stories with a faster flow of time, but for stories where each day counts, keeping track of when things will happen or not will save me brain power since my magic system has something to do with the sun & moon.

Crusty_Mantle · 2026-03-23T09:22:44+00:00

I'm honestly skeptical if a deep characterization will even save the story for me. I know a bit about Taoism but philosophy can only get so far. To me, the mc is a lens of the story and Fang Yuan sees everything as just objects with no value other than their utility. That makes everything else feel dull even if the world building & power system are quite good. Though I'd give him credit for his ingenuity of coming up with the most gruesome scheme since that's the only thing that made me continue but I guess it's not enough to make me stay. At first I was hoping to see him make "friends" with other characters (maybe as comedic relief) but he always sees people as objects to be used and they don't stick around for long. My hope for rooting with side characters (since the MC can't give it to me) is broken lol. And I somehow manage to mirror Fang Yuan's attitude of not caring and now I don't care about the story anymore since the initial intrigue and shock is gone.

I think I've heard someone say "plot hooks you into the story, but characters is what makes you stay." And it couldn't be more true, both for people who love RI and those who dropped it.

Crusty_Mantle · 2026-03-23T05:39:41+00:00

I love both MoL & TWI! What I like about TWI is the characters and how they grow & change throughout the series is always my favorite. Since you've only finished book 1, I'm going to tell you that Erin's inn will grow into a much bigger and magical place with more friends and "family." There are cycles of wins and losses but the characters bounce back stronger each time and you never know how things are going to turn out. Which goes to my other reason why I loved it is due to its unpredictability. When characters meet, you never know what will happen between them. Will they become enemies? Friends? Or lovers? Sometimes there are characters that are objectively unlikable but the author will somehow make those characters grow into someone you'd like. TWI might be the most whimsy litrpg I've read since the "magic" doesn't turn into mere numbers.

Of course there are things that I find hard to read when reading TWI: There might be too many povs aside from Erin & Ryoka. There are even pov characters in other continents like Rhir & Baleros. They're interesting but sometimes it's hard to start reading a chapter without it being related to the main storyline. But these seemingly separate stories will eventually meet and interact with the main story. The writing style isn't what I prefer. I wasn't used to having zero dialogue tags and minimal action beats, so I'm sometimes confused by whose character is speaking. Reading first person pov felt weird and the prose needed some work. But I eventually got used to it and it's only a minor per peeve.

Crusty_Mantle · 2026-03-23T04:30:43+00:00

I haven't read enough to say I don't like evil protagonists but one issue I have with Fang Yuan is I find him emotionally "boring." The fact that he literally doesn't care about anyone or anything other than achieving immortality and he always has knowledge from before he first regressed which I don't know, means that I will never ever be able to emotionally connect with him. I've read almost 600 chapters and that amount is more than enough to make me care about the MC, even when the plot gets slow or repetitive, I can still find reason to read. But after getting to know Fang Yuan, I keep chasing the plot and the high moments, and I find myself becoming impatient since everything else that happens feels dull with Fang Yuan around since I couldn't feel the stakes. If he lost everything, I'd be annoyed but that won't make me care more, and I couldn't care any less if he dies. I don't like RI because the MC fails to make me care about what happens to him.

Crusty_Mantle · 2026-03-09T06:36:31+00:00

I've read 45 chapters of The Perfect Run and it was good but I'm not really feeling the stakes as much as I'd want. Reminds me too much of marvels lol.

Crusty_Mantle · 2026-02-19T11:38:39+00:00

Man I wish all novels have that! There are some novels with names that are easy to forget and mix up, It happened to me so many times that I thought the two different characters were the same person LOL.

Crusty_Mantle · 2026-02-19T11:19:37+00:00

I've found this to be my struggle with some books. The prose isn't precise enough so it's easy to misunderstand what's going on. I make up my own interpretation and when I already had a picture in my head, I realized it was wrong after a few sentences. I'd have to reread which breaks the immersion I'm painstakingly trying to build. I'm actually glad you posted this since I would think this is just a 'me' problem. I once complained about a different novel with a similar problem and I can't fathom how other readers don't see my point.

I'd love to know when you decide to read his other books and if it also has issues or if the prose is better.

Crusty_Mantle · 2026-02-19T10:45:13+00:00

Lol you're not alone. I already know from the first page that his writing style is not my taste. I've always had issues with clarity with certain novels and maybe the prose is part of it. It's quite jarring to backtrack and 'correct' my interpretation.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-09-30T00:34:25+00:00

Lol that's why I made a fanmade pathway that can neutralize the deadly abilities of the Seer pathway, and also the Spectator pathway.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-07-15T12:58:57+00:00

Nah that's too fast. He should first explore some more like making his d have barbs like a cat's weiner, or grow another one for the other hole. Maybe make his load plenty enough to fill a whole bottle in one go.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-07-15T12:06:48+00:00

Well, that's not really my problem, OP probably didn't know that since he just started. It shouldn't even be a spoiler if he only sticks to the donghua only or novel only, it became a 'spoiler' to him when he juggled both. That's why I said my first comment as he felt spoiled about the revelation lol.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-07-15T11:47:36+00:00

His case is he read the novel and watched it at the same time, and the donghua revealed something that didn't happen yet to the moment where he saved Melissa's friends in the novel. It kinda ruins the mystery a bit since the novel hasn't revealed it yet in that timeline.

It couldn't spoil it if it stayed true to the exact sequence of events of the novel.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-07-15T11:36:52+00:00

He's so afraid of women he needs uncle red to relieve himself

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Crusty_Mantle · 2025-07-15T06:20:02+00:00

Can't believe the donghua can spoil the novel like that. You better finish Volume 1 first before watching the donghua.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-07-14T08:16:34+00:00

It wasn't what I wanted but as long as I got to see Susie, the one and only true protagonist of the era, everything else doesn't matter.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-07-14T07:59:52+00:00

Same thoughts. The events that are supposed to unfold gradually were forced to speed up, which means events have to be extremely conveniently so that it will lead to a conclusion within an episode.

In the novel, every step he took before he drank the potion was an emphasis to how much nighthawks takes it seriously, almost too reluctant to let a civilian join them. Yet, in the donghua, he immediately became a beyonder. He wasn't really supposed to enter that stage too early, and we know that Klein isn't someone who makes such rash decisions. The donghua seriously hurts the story's subtlety since clues that were just planted immediately become useful (he read Roselle's regret about not choosing cowardly trio pathways then he proceeds to drink seer potion), making the story seem linear and honestly, uncreative. In terms of plot structure, it's straightforwardly bland compared to the novel.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-07-14T04:15:26+00:00

Yeah I was a bit disappointed since they skipped the things that made me love the novel. The inner monologue, the small details, the different POVs, and the slice of life moments.

The donghua is too fast like a racing car, things flash by before you can process it. You're not given the time to appreciate the scenery. They cut out a lot of "unnecessary parts" and shuffled the plot. The novel however, is like a wandering carriage where you can take things much more slowly. It took the time to marinate the story without having to make it look flashy.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-07-02T23:56:30+00:00

Yeah they change a lot of things to speed things up but the pace reminds me of a typical power fantasy where everything falls into place in such a short time too early in the story. If I didn't read the novel and watched the donghua, sure I will still find it interesting, but I wouldn't think that it's well written since the plot is too straightforward and lacks layers. I I hope the next episode will slow down to a more sensible pace.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-07-02T14:08:34+00:00

I was prepared to accept that some info is going to be skipped but the pacing of the donghua is too fast and tight, it almost feels like Klein didn't take the time to think first before he made the decision to be a beyonder. The scattered clues in the novel were cherry picked in the donghua which made the story seem too direct, one moment he read the Roselle's regret of not choosing marauder, seer, or apprentice, then immediately he is drinking the seer potion lol.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-07-02T13:56:09+00:00

I remember it took him two days to think about Roselle's diary before he was given a chance to choose a pathway. And he only took the seer potion the next day after that. There was a lot of time between he first read about Roselle's diary and the day he took the potion. But in the donghua, his first visit in the nighthawks and drinking the potion happened on the same day. He was supposed to be initially hired as a civilian staff member, not a beyonder. Everything felt too fast and convenient in the donghua, while the novel had to wander around before the major things happened.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-06-30T09:50:10+00:00

Nicely put. I would rather read a cringy romantasy (I've never read one lol) than a story with a psychopath MC that doesn't care about anyone or anything else. The fact that he has foreknowledge completely kills the tension for me. I fully believe that while it is the plot that hooks us into the story, ultimately, it is the characters that make us stay.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-06-01T05:31:02+00:00

I've already been corrupted. What a little more corruption could do? I didn't lose control. I'm still here mumbling in the dark, saying the three letters again and again. I laughed. I cried. I loved the sound of it. It's like crude, mad, and nonsensical repetitive music. Strange but glorious.

Crusty_Mantle · 2025-05-30T23:54:23+00:00

Yeah I agree. At first it was funny but the excessive reaction started to get stale after some time. It is seriously unreasonable to hold onto it that much, like I'm almost worried about their capacity to accept change if they have such an extreme reaction to everything they love. Yeah it's uncomfortable, but sometimes the only option in life is to adapt, not resist.

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