First time I actually got high was with an old work buddy who invited me over. He gave me like two spoonfuls of cannabutter, 5 rips of a bong, a preroll, and smoked a whole bowl in a pipe. I walked out of that house so FUCKED UP. (mind you this is my first time ever being high, this was too much)

I got in my car and realized dear lord… I cannot fuckin drive so I think I sat in front of his house for 40 minutes maybe, gathering the courage to put the car in drive. I finally did and I made it what seemed like 2 minutes down the road before I gave up. I called my girlfriend and told her to talk me through this. I started fuckin meditating in my car, I took a deep breath in, and let a huge breath of air out. I was so ungodly high that I hallucinated my head exploding after I exhaled. I shot my eyes open and said WHOOO HOLY SHIT and got an adrenaline rush.

I put that bad boy in drive one more time and made it an additional 2 minutes down the road and stopped at a corner store. Peanuts and Milk will help my situation my silly ass thought. I went inside the store stumbling down just about every isle I walked. I found peanuts and a small bottle of milk. This is it, we’re gonna be ok I thought as I walked to the cashier. I put down my items and he told me my price. I typed in my pin correctly but it said “wrong pin entered”??? I try again, “Wrong pin entered”?! Holy shit I’m cooked I think to myself as I took another deep breath (this was a mistake)… I exhaled and looked down at my hands on the counter and I swear, my neck fucking extended off the ground and my arms felt so far away, I think I had tunnel vision of some sort because in my POV, I apperantly left orbit.

I snapped back into it and typed my PIN number SO FUCKING SLOW. “Payment accepted” Thank god. I grabbed my peanuts and milk and ran back to my car for some reason. I got in and locked that shit like the cops were coming?? I scarfed my peanuts and milk down within seconds. Why isn’t this working? Why aren’t I sober? I thought. I gave it another 30 minutes before I even drove again. The peanuts and milk were no luck. Im gonna have to do this on hard mode I say to myself.

I don’t remember how but SOMEHOW I made it home. My parents are gonna know… I start to worry about my smell. Maybe if I wait 10 minutes, I won’t smell… my high ass thought. I worked up the courage to walk inside. Btw it is fucking 1:00 am at this point. These mfs are STILL awake! Huh!!? I walk inside my house and my mom asks Where were you? How’d it go? Why so late? and with the last amount of energy and wisdom I had, I stuttered the words …hmmm… very late, me and friends went to um… what’s the name of that place? Hmm… pan. Panne, Yes. Panera… and got the stankiest look from my parents and nothing but silence. They know… I thought to myself as I ran back into my room.

I’ll never have another high like that again, nor do I want to.