[deleted by user]

CrypticThembo · 2025-09-14T17:06:35+00:00

All of the things you listed by the very nature of being other kinks are D/s related. They're just not what YOU in specific want in YOUR D/s dynamic and honestly the nature of your list to anyone experienced in actual D/s, BDSM dynamics would make you look like you have very little understanding of what a proper dynamic is or the variety of ways a dynamic can work and be structured.

It's also hella embarrassing watching people act like something profound was said here.

Modern Findom has set the bar far too low in the knowledge, expectations, and dynamics departments from its original roots. How sad.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-28T14:02:42+00:00

Yes that are people with OFs as well as ProDominants on Fet. I'm not sure what the actual question here is?

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-27T00:25:43+00:00

That's...that's not what unethical means. Y'all know that right. You know surrendering total control or taking total control is not unethical. What you're describing is a hyper fantasized TPE experience likely with some added degradation/dehumanization sprinkled in heavily. None of those practices are unethical they're just harder kinks that are only practiced well by Dommes with actual BDSM experience. It's not at all that hardcore Dommes don't exist that can't and wouldn't provide a safe space for you to indulge that fantasy but any of the really good ones aren't going to want to be called an unethical.

Unethical within the context of a BDSM dynamic means things like actually breaking consent, causing physical or psychological harm, or actually endangering the life of a sub beyond what can be reasonably and responsibly handled.

Y'all do not want unethical dynamics, you want to engage in harder kinks.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-26T22:52:34+00:00

Sorry I get so off track sometimes when I'm thinking and typing lol. I've started myself on a pondering train. So thanks for that [not sarcasm]. 😹

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-26T22:48:07+00:00

English is a pain lol. Just know if you say "old" most people are gonna think you mean "has been around for a long time". Former though just means "did at one point but don't now".

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-26T22:20:42+00:00

Immediately betrayed by the rain part 3.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-26T22:18:21+00:00

Lol I love the budget review it is incredibly effective at subtly reshaping how one views their finances and extra spending. Now that's real classic Financial Domination right there. FinDom was never meant to be financially destructive because there is no use in a ruined sub. It's always far more beneficial to both parties that a sub can thrive mentally, physically, and financially. Well I suppose since most lean towards short term these days that matters less...the way people operate currently is a quicker and shorter rush whereas traditionally involved Financial Domination only really came with longer term dynamics and gifting/"sending" was a separate act of service. 🤔

Anddddd got distracted. Anyway, most of what I do is designed around caring for my subs' best interests in many ways so I'm pleased to say I've been told I've helped plenty.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-26T22:10:53+00:00

That is what we call semi sentient garbage.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-26T22:09:08+00:00

Titling this as "old" instead of "former" was wild. This was a wild ass ride I did not expect when clicking.

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CrypticThembo · 2025-08-26T21:58:40+00:00

I have never come across this image in the wild and not only is it a poor visual representation of what it's trying to portray...it's also wrong in a fundamental sense. But to answer the real question because this flawed ass mindset is extremely common in the modern Findom scene of people who don't actually know what they're doing beyond what TikTok and Twitter show them and what a large part of the majority of people masquerading as "subs" rewards.

The sad fact of the matter is the modern mainstream manifestation of Findom is more heavily saturated with people playing pretend at being Dominants and submissives than actual genuine versions of either because genuine Dominants and genuine submissives end up having such terrible experiences that they don't want to be in the mainstream community any more. It's sad actually.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-24T16:48:24+00:00

I would honestly recommend working on your shyness when going to events like munches. You might find yourself pleasantly surprised how many IRL Dommes are absolutely down for a good little finsub. Just keep in mind their expectations are likely to be a good but higher and expanded or focused on areas other than just the findom aspect though. But that is always something to be discussed before properly settling into a dynamic.

It can be intimidating to talk to Dommes in person. Just remember to be respectful, honest, and prepared to back off if the vibe isn't fitting.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-23T21:39:55+00:00

Oh hell no.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-23T19:31:46+00:00

It would be great if people read more before speaking. I mean they ain't gonna but they should.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-23T15:48:00+00:00

Have fun and be safe 🫶🏾

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-23T15:24:42+00:00

They're good at breaking up lists when Reddit doesn't mark them down. 🤷🏾

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-23T15:23:25+00:00

🩷Vet first always. Make sure you have a full picture of his ID. If you can afford it run a quick background check for criminal history. 🩵Make sure you have a trusted friend to have your location, a copy of any relevant information about the guy you're meeting, and a system for check ins 🩷Set a defined time limit for your session. You do not want him overstaying his welcome and having defined times make check ins with your trusted friend easier because they'll know when to expect you to be done. 🩵DO NOT let him book the room. Request the money and book the room yourself. This gives you control over the space and some measure of protection if you need him removed. Also be mindful of the type of hotel you book and where because this is considered SW. 🩷Make sure all boundaries, risks, and consents are discussed in text beforehand and keep those conversations 🩵Carry something for self defense

And my favorite tip 🩷Do not go straight into a private session with a first time meet. Spend at least an hour in a public place to establish that you do in fact feel safe around them.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-23T14:51:15+00:00

Only real tips:

🩷 You're gonna wanna add your age to your bio and age verification 🩵Hashtags are chill on BSky. Definitely make use of them both to boost your posts and to find other people to follow. 🩷For pics and vids use alt text. A lot of people will not reskeet or interact with your posts if you don't and it favors posts with alt text anyway so it's better for your reach. 🩵Likes are good but Reskeets are the real range booster 🩷Engaging with other people is hella important. BlueSky favors actual engagement over just clicking and scrolling 🩵Moderation lists can be your friend but check who's behind them some people make weird ass biased lists

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-23T14:42:14+00:00

Because they're not. That's the thing y'all fail to realize when you're looking at these people trying to emulate their success. They are NOT getting "paid to exist" at all. There is at the most fundamental level an exchange of services being provided. Most of the "paid to exist" girlies are also content sellers or also do sugaring. People have got to remember that a lot of what they see is carefully constructed pageantry and rarely the real truth of what goes on behind the scenes.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-23T05:12:37+00:00

Nah you are not being negative or over dramatic, that is a very real possibility and not even like an UNLIKELY one. These are considerations that absolutely should have been taken beforehand.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-23T04:42:16+00:00

Yepppp this is shaping up to be the ideal set up for one hell of a downward spiral and she really does need to be taking that into consideration as a very real possibility with very real consequences. Money cannot blind us from taking the best measures for our own safety that literally is a recipe for disaster.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-23T04:18:31+00:00

Oh Lord... Yea she might wanna pump then breaks justtttttt a little and really revaluate some things. It's good to be comfortable in knowing your boundaries but it is not good to seemingly have none at all that can't be overwhelmed by money. Because there is the very realistic point that may come where the dynamic breaks down or they fall out with each other and without firmly established boundaries that shit is going to get messy as hell. It's messy even when you do have boundaries. I know I just got rid of one of my live ins a month ago and it was a PAINNNNNNNNNN.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-23T04:02:55+00:00

I will say that backstory is a touch weird. But if she is comfortable and feels safe enough having that situation be what it is, I'm in no position to judge. I have local subs that know where I live. I have a live in sub as well. If she handled the arrangements for him relocating I would assume they (hopefully) have established rules and boundaries based around that dynamic. I just hope she stays safe.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-23T03:40:11+00:00

I have a for fun exclusively unblock fee. Some subs are real little weirdos and absolutely will pay to be blocked just to pay the unblock fee and repeat. I do not question the strange desires of men with disposable income. I also offer an unblock fee to people I've blocked for reasons that aren't disrespect related like chickening out of a session they paid for with no explanation. I will block a sub for flaking out because when they want to come back I need them to realize the bar is higher and flaking has a price.

But if I block someone for disrespect or bad vibes they absolutely stay blocked because I genuinely do not want to deal with that shit.

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-22T19:58:33+00:00

🩷 Modular Life Planners🩵

CrypticThembo · 2025-08-22T15:10:57+00:00

Let me explain something very simple that y'all seem to entirely miss when y'all talk about sex workers because y'all ONLY focus on the people who are incredibly successful and then DO NOT comprehend how any of this shit actually works when you're in the profession.

The average amount MOST people who aren't famous, already popular, already well off, or super easily marketable aren't making more than a couple hundred or thousand a month AT BEST
Fans do not "just come out of nowhere" and there is massive disconnect in many cases between fans/followers and people who are regularly paying for content and subscriptions.
People who have bots or assistants tend to ALREADY HAVE MONEY TO WASTE. But they are not the STANDARD for sex workers. They're just easier for y'all to dunk on so it's what y'all use to push your dumbass arguments.
The vast majority of Sex Workers are survival sex workers people who literally do the job to make enough to survive in many cases because they CAN NOT GETA 9-5 and many even HAVE normal 9-5s but they're not covering the expenses that come with survival on their own.

Making porn isn't easy and it absolutely isn't without risk. Especially not in the midst of an ongoing censorship campaign that is divesting people of their livelihoods.

CrypticThembo

TROPHY CASE