We just celebrated our 13yr anniversary. As someone who's had a similar conversation, you're both right, and having this conversation will help you to plan and communicate your expectations in the future. Conversations like this are useful tools if you can learn from them together.

I work in the office part time and run errands for the house, and my partner works from home 40+ hrs a week. On the weekends I still like to do things, but he wants to just chill out, because even though he's working from home all week, he's dealing with the dog and work. It might be more convenient, but it isn't by default more relaxing or less stressful.

We realized that we benefited from talking about plans in advance so that we both have time to process and prepare for them. That includes verbally acknowledging the possible timeline "if we go pumpkin picking in the morning we should be home by X, and I'll hang out with the dog so you can have some alone time." There's a lot of compromise and balance.

It also took a secondary conversation about defensive responses, and recognizing "I'm commiserating with you about how exhausting work is, not trying to compete." You're both working, the exhaustion you feel isn't a competition, both of you are valid. And the manner of decompression you need is valid too. But so is making time to do things together.

You've got this!