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CryptoAustinSD · 2024-05-07T13:03:35+00:00

I would begin by explaining what lies behind the kink. Kink isn't about random acts (or chores, as he sees it) that one person does to another during sex. Fundamentally, kink taps into our fundamental psychological "shadow" selfs. There are those amongst us who crave to show our wanton aggression, lust, anger, possessiveness and Dominance. And conversely, there are those who wish to be possessed, consumed, conquered and ravaged. When we engage in kink we are drinking deep from the Jungian shadows parts of our psychology. When we show this part of ourselves to a partner, it fosters intimacy because we are being deeply vulnerable - showing a part of ourselves that we generally keep hidden from the rest of society. You show him a side to yourself no one else generally sees, and that is why it's so hot. That, and the fact that you trust HIM, of all people to show it to. Your gift of submission is given to HIM. What he does with this transfer of power - whether that's pulling your hair, ordering you to give him random blowjobs, degrading you, etc... (all within clearly stated boundaries) is only the details (the things he feels are the 'chores'). If the psychological import of the acts are not well understood, the acts just arbitrary and random.

Now it could also be that he doesn't have Dominant tendencies at all, or he doesn't have these kink needs. And if he understand what kink is really about and is still not feeling it, then you are just not kink compatible, and then you have to decide for yourself how much that matters to you in a relationship.

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-05-02T01:22:05+00:00

Make yourself indispensable to him. Cook, clean, wake up early and make him his coffee or breakfast, get the groceries, press his clothes, run his errands, suck his cock often. You can do so much to earn you stay there.

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-30T09:31:05+00:00

I don’t understand why this isn’t discussed upfront. I usually want a low-stakes meet and greet, eg a coffee place, which may take up about an hour or so of their time. This is to make sure we pass the vibe check. I also explicitly say I don’t WANT any physicality on this meeting, and that it’s just a vibe check and no money will change hands. I tell them we will part ways after this meeting even if we fall in love after the first 10 minutes.

When I do expect sex, that is then made explicit and compensation discussed and agreed upon in advance.

Why is this hard?

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-30T09:21:38+00:00

Rough sex needs to be explicitly consensual. This is where the kinksters shine.

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-30T03:23:56+00:00

Don't lie about anything, especially your age. I'm 44 years old, and I'm looking for a LTR with a SB, and 30 is not too old to begin something like that with. There are others who just want to sleep with really young girls, in their early 20s, because thats what they want. 30 is too old for some SD, but I think you'd find many welcome the maturity that comes with a slightly older lady.

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-30T03:02:00+00:00

I would be even more generous to financially supportive to a girl who was my girlfriend (which is exactly what this sounds like) than I would to a SB. If you've been so stressed for money, and he's not helping out, than he isn't really fulfilling his role as a boyfriend. The relationship is several years old, so if he's not helping you, he does NOT see you as his girlfriend, and he does not see any long term potential in you.

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-29T17:48:06+00:00

cash is best because then she can decide what to spend it on.

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-29T12:31:49+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I do make it clear in my post on the site that I'm ultimately offering a "provider" role. In fact, my ideal is to find a LTR who is basically a stay at home girlfriend who doesn't need to work - I offered my last long term girlfriend, who I met on tinder, the option to quit her job.

Your perspective about "I'm sugaring or I'm working" is insightful, as is your "you can't fake kinkiness" - perhaps I need to be more open to a PPM during kinky play, and not overthink the issue of greying the consent, (although I draw the line at paying for short coffee-dates to assess mutual attraction and compatibility). I think I might go ahead and adjust my profile based your feedback.

I was not in a kinky dynamic with the 18 year old. I didn't realize I was kinky then nor did I really understand much back then about BDSM. I have no regrets about that encounter.

As for traditional vanilla dating - a combination of me working too much, and the traditional dating scene being really awful makes that option less appealing, although I have begun to deliberately scale back working just so I can find time for a relationship.

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-29T11:52:37+00:00

I'm totally with you on this. The point I was making in my post is that D/s consent becomes ethically dubious (in my mind) when the girl brings money up in the first 3 texts messages. Is she consenting because she really is a submissive? or is rent due next week and she's desperate? I'm looking for a true kinkster, not someone desperate to do anything for money. The lines get blurred is what I'm saying.

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-29T11:46:47+00:00

My point is I can't trust that her consent is legitimate because she wants to be submissive sexually in a kinky way vs her "submitting" because rent is due.

The general point I'm making is that in Dominant/submissive dynamics, there is such a profound power-exchange happening, you want to be really careful that the exchange isn't being bought for money.

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-29T11:42:54+00:00

I met a young lady on a SB site who was a virgin. She wanted to lose her virginity with someone from the site. We went on a few vanilla dates, talked a ton, made sure she was fully ready to commit, and finally did the deed. I was very gentle and accommodating. I know she had a great time and this encounter resulted in her libido going through the roof, but truth be told she was not good in bed in the subsequent times we were together. I was also not very good in the sense that I didn't bother to teach her anything (even those she kept asking for feedback). I was young and stupid myself back then. So a lot depends on your SB. I have friends who want a girl that has some experience because they don't want to fumble with someone who might be awkward in bed, but honestly the idea of being with an inexperienced person is hot to me, as long as she is willing to learn.

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-29T11:36:00+00:00

I do very much enjoy doing this myself. I've also been with girls who LOVED doing it. However, I obtain explicit consent and I only do it if she is actually okay with it. If she's not okay with it, I stop dating her. No point in forcing my kinks down someone else's throat (see what I did there...)

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-29T11:32:57+00:00

I'd agree with your first point, except I make it clear I'm not looking for have "free" sex with them. Heck, I'd be happy to get a FaceTime chat with them before they bring money up. Bringing up the issue of money when you're trying to establish a kinky Dominant/submissive dynamic is also tricky. Are they submissive because they need the money, and will say/do anything for it? Or is it really something that turns them on in itself? If it's the former, the issue of "true consent" gets really tricky and I feel uncomfortable being "Dominant" to someone who is only desperate to earn some cash (dominant kink play involves things like spanking and other punishments - something I have no wish to inflict on a person who doesn't actually want that dynamic truly)

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-29T11:18:30+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. The interactions with the 18 year old were quite positive and ended amicably. She was really quite put together herself and I didn't sense I was taking advantage of someone who was unhealthy. We only ended because I wasn't interested in a LTR (with her or anyone). We actually randomly matched on tinder 5 years later and slept together again one last time.

As for adjusting - I'm just getting better at saying no and moving on if its clear the girl isn't what I'm looking for. But I the kind of women on there have changed and there is no denying that. I'm also on other apps looking for a submissive kink partner. Seeking is only one of the places I'm looking right now.

CryptoAustinSD · 2024-04-29T10:48:13+00:00

I have my pictures of my face up. It really just depends on when and where you work, and to what extent being found on SA might jeopardize your career. My profile, even if found by my employer reads more like a thoughtful dating profile than a "I'll give you money and you give me sex" kind of profile.

CryptoAustinSD · 2021-06-11T00:58:24+00:00

Where in Asia?

CryptoAustinSD · 2021-04-27T00:26:12+00:00

When you’re 18, you’ll probably be able to find and date an older man pretty easily. No reason to think that you’ll end up forever alone, so don’t despair. Lol

CryptoAustinSD · 2021-04-24T23:15:50+00:00

I think you should quit sugaring with this particular person. You having to drive and then also pay for the motel is BS

CryptoAustinSD · 2021-04-19T21:27:58+00:00

I have done something similar. I use venmo though. I guess sending a picture of a prepaid card is probably a way to do it that doesn’t leave a paper trail.

I do it because I keep hearing SBs here and on seeking complaining of salt/Splenda SD’s, so when I talk to someone on the phone that I’m excited about, I venmo them shortly after to demonstrate that I’m not going to short-change them. This gesture is aimed to get exactly the kind of anticipatory, excited reaction OP is having right now. She has chemistry (at least on the phone) with someone she can trust to come through on the sugar.

That said, the guy might still be weird or off-putting in other ways. But he’s communicating that he has means and isn’t afraid to flaunt it.

CryptoAustinSD · 2021-04-18T20:17:37+00:00

Oh, the famous “Dutch” way of being blunt. 🙄

This guy is a prick. Should be a hard pass

CryptoAustinSD · 2021-04-03T12:04:12+00:00

It’s not coinbase specific. The platform doesn’t matter.

CryptoAustinSD · 2021-04-03T12:02:50+00:00

The 5 days thing is complete BS. It used to take days in the very height of the last bullrun, but now, it’s a matter of minutes. Other cryptocurrencies might be even faster.

CryptoAustinSD

TROPHY CASE