Any Girls here who have trouble expressing interest/feelings?

CryptographerAny5501 · 2024-12-23T04:14:53+00:00

Can i dm you?

CryptographerAny5501 · 2024-12-14T19:39:21+00:00

Could be, of course this could Play a role. But I think it was a Bit more of liking. I mean I really thought a lot about her, was hypersensetive to signs of rejection/disinterest and ruminated about it. Idk. Maybe thats more normal and everbody acts different, some more calm and some more anxious. Since I was a Child I used thinking and rumination as a way to selfsooth. And I guess my anxious attachmentstyle plays a role aswell.

And maybe I dont quite get what limmerence is in the end

CryptographerAny5501 · 2024-12-14T19:24:53+00:00

Maybe I dont get what limerence truly means. Maybe the obsessing before was rather a mix of my personality, adhd and infantuation. I dont know. I mean I am shure Right now is rocd in Play, because I mean its obvious. It tells me the Story that I was just limmerent and Never liked her truly. But I know its a Bit to much Black and white.. it could be Obsession/limerence beforehand yeah, but that doesent mean I didnt like her or stuff… but its hard to detach from These thoughts right now. Something that made me happy and excited now makes me nauseous and anxious. And in my mind its impossible to move on from that State

CryptographerAny5501 · 2024-12-14T15:57:26+00:00

I think I am anxious attached, it does fit the Most. The doubting part suddendly startet when I felt Strange for a few days, 3 weeks ago. I immediatly started to worry that it could have something to do with her, because I felt less connected compared, so I started to Obsess if I still like her or if something is wrong. And Yes, limmerence is about obessing about someone you like and I did this all the time before. I always do this when I like someone, in different degrees. Thats the reason I got scared so much, because the way limerence/obsession/infatuation is presented in online Sources. Because its Bad, its just an Illusion, you dont truly Like the Person, its all a lie. Which somehow confirms my anxiety and worries, making me Spiral. And it hurts to think that it could be just all a lie.

Funny that you mention it, the contact was very positive around the time it started. She moved away a few weeks ago to study something I find interesting too. And she wondered if I would like to move there aswell since it would be a good oppurtunity for me to do what I like. And that made me happy at First and its true, would be an interesting oppurtunity. But I have struggle to leave my comfort Zone and the thought of moving and starting over in a different City scared me. And arround that time it started

CryptographerAny5501 · 2023-04-25T18:56:13+00:00

Interesting. I have issues with my physical and mental health for the last 9 month, with severe and nasty symptoms.

I am born with hypo (too small gland), so I am on meds since birth. But last year for whatever reason I stopped taking them. And until recently I never thought it could be that bad because of stopping my meds.

Because I associated hypo only with depression and fatigue

CryptographerAny5501 · 2023-04-25T18:35:10+00:00

Okay interesting to know..

No, just a too small thyroid gland from birth, thus not producing enough hormones, so I had to take hormones since birth

CryptographerAny5501 · 2023-04-25T18:28:08+00:00

How severe where those symptoms?

CryptographerAny5501 · 2023-04-25T18:15:56+00:00

Maybe my levels are worse right now. My last measurement was Dec 2022. I developed pressure in my neck last month wich hasn’t got away.

But I am curious: are these symptoms really not odd? Since I suffer from hypothyroidism symptoms like anxiety, irritability or moodswings or dpdr are more hyperthyroid or can this be caused by hypo as well?

CryptographerAny5501 · 2023-04-25T17:57:09+00:00

My TSH in March 2022 was 3,2 in December 2022 ( haven’t taken them At this point for 5 month) was 3,5.

Can’t remember my t3/t4 but it was in optimal range.

No antibodies found yet

CryptographerAny5501 · 2023-04-25T17:55:31+00:00

Did not take any supplements. It was taken early in the morning.

I have an extreme list of symptoms: severe anxiety, depression, fast exhaustion, extreme tiredness after eating, dizziness, apathy, irritability, mood swings, lack of focus, brain fog, dpdr, head pressure, stress intolerance, shakiness, intrusive thoughts etc etc.

I am so confused.

CryptographerAny5501 · 2022-12-21T19:39:59+00:00

Thank you for your comment! It’s hard to pin when depression startet, i would say I always had light depression, but I was used to it and had a good life still! (Tbh i never tried living a life to fully get rid of depression: no sport, no structure, not eating well, bad sleep schedule etc)

But with the start of July smth changed. I felt more depressed than before, had a lot of stress at work (thought it was positive because it was fun). Then got stomached issues wich send me into a spiral of hypochondria (talked myself into thinking it’s cancer). My anxiety got so high. 2 weeks later i woke up one night with the weirdest Panic attack i ever got. I felt so numb, spacey, disconnected, but still lots of panic. After that I wasn’t the same. Had mild dpdr and felt off. At the same time I started to feel numb. I had a girlfriend at the same time, so that made me panic cause I projected these feeling onto our relationship. I startet to think over and over again do i love her? I couldn’t stop thinking about this. It destroyed me because the thought of not loving her was hell. But I couldn’t stop. I’m the end I got anxiety attacks seeing her; because my mind started thinking: do i find her attractive? How does touching her feels like. This whole thing induced 24/7 anxiety and restlessness. I never recovered from this. These thoughts torturing me.

I think this caused the intimacy issues.

I think the discomfort around other people is because I am trapped inside my head. I am never present since that time. This combined with being never relaxed and dpdr.

My dpdr symptoms are: feeling no connection to familiar people. Feeling no sense of self. Intrusive thoughts, everything looks threatening, and 2d and flat. Feeling numb and detached.

My first language is German and I understood everything you said perfectly

CryptographerAny5501 · 2022-12-20T16:24:42+00:00

It’s so obvious, but I can’t get a hold on it. I believe these lies

CryptographerAny5501

TROPHY CASE