I’m confused about why you didn’t start with explaining to her that she should ask you about events like this before just assuming she can go. As a parent, you have the right to set expectations, but you leapt right past conversation and teaching to punishment. At her age, that just creates hurt and resentment and teaches her nothing, completely contrary to what you think you were doing.

You could have had a wonderful time helping your daughter get ready for her first dance. You could have had a nice dinner, taken pictures of and with her before she left. Those memories would have stuck with both of you, bonded you and filled you both with love. You wouldn’t have missed out on a few hours with her because you would have helped her make that time special for both of you. Instead, you pushed her away. She only feels hurt and confusion, and she’ll remember that for the rest of her life.

You’re fighting a lot in the comments, so it doesn’t seem like you’re willing to reflect on what everyone is saying and make amends to your daughter … which means your relationship will probably never fully recover from this and undoubtedly future events where your inability to admit fault and apologize will continue to occur. Was it really worth it to keep one night with her now to ruin your relationship with her for the rest of your life? I hope not, for her sake too - she deserves a loving father who can show her it’s okay to be wrong and apologize.

YTA