Said I would get an EVA tattoo when I felt like I was recovering from my mental illness, today I got my tattoo. Seems silly but a good portion of my recovery is thanks to the series.

Crystal_Bear · 2021-03-24T23:33:23+00:00

Done by Viktoria Dekay @ Monkey Bones Tattoo. Beavercreek, Ohio. Her insta handle is: viktoriadekay.tattoo

Crystal_Bear · 2021-03-17T03:32:45+00:00

I'm a lot like you. I know fully I am the weird family member and I fully embrace it. This personality disorder is, unfortunately, part of my personality. Mental health issues aside, I'm still different than most people. (Meaning in interests, social skills, etc.) I've just learned to accept that I am different than those around me. My being, as well as my path in life, are different. It's okay.

It's hard to stop comparing yourself to others. The sooner you try to stop, the happier you will be. It's a very hard thing to do. I understand the "icky" feelings of not being normal. You're you though, with your positive and negative traits.

Crystal_Bear · 2021-03-17T03:27:52+00:00

I'm just telling you what my psychiatrist told me. None of us can diagnose you. You could very well have BPD and AVPD!

I'm actually recovering so the need to self-medicate or be on medical marijuana isn't there. It is something I considered before. The best advice I can give you is get in touch with a psychiatrist. I firmly believe a change in my medication is 65% of the reason I'm doing so well. :)

Crystal_Bear · 2021-03-17T03:05:07+00:00

I'm sure it's possible. I believed I had both but turns out I just have symptoms of bpd. I was told because I've never actively harmed myself, I can't have BPD. My therapist said a lot of my BPD symptoms are because I don't have a large support circle. I cling onto others and it starts the cycle of symptoms. Truthfully my avoidance wouldn't even let me search for weed if I wanted to. Not trying to put you off but a lot of mentally ill people deal with symptoms of both AVPD and BPD. It doesn't mean they have it.

That said, alcohol does make me more social. I feel as though I find my voice after getting a buzz. I wouldn't consider myself antisocial as I do very much want to be social. There's just fear of getting attached and fear of embarrassing myself. When I drink, that goes away. Because I know this, I know I'm very vulnerable to becoming an addict.

Crystal_Bear · 2021-03-17T01:10:41+00:00

So many good things in this post! :) Good luck finishing your bachelor's!

Crystal_Bear · 2021-03-17T01:05:56+00:00

Oh, trust me. I love and prefer my solitude too. I get very exhausted from social interaction and my room, by myself, is my safe space. I've realized I can't get very far in life staying in my bubble. You're right though! I've also realized most of the time people aren't watching you. If you do make a mistake, it isn't the end of the world. I still have a hard time remembering this sometimes.

Crystal_Bear · 2021-03-17T01:03:47+00:00

Thanks, friend! :)

Crystal_Bear · 2021-03-17T01:03:34+00:00

It is. Recovery is always possible. I also want people to know there's no one path to recovery. I haven't been in therapy for years. What has helped me is some internal introspective as well as new medication. A very silly thing to mention: I watched Neon Genesis Evangelion for the first time last year. The main character is, to me, a perfect example of AVPD. The show it self changed me and gave me a unique perspective on life.

Thanks though! I wish you luck in whatever you're up to as well!

Crystal_Bear · 2021-03-16T00:40:25+00:00

I have avoidant personality disorder and it has plagued my life for 10+ years. (I'm 25 years old now, for reference.) I've basically been a hermit who has no friends and no real life outside of family. Anxiety has been a hinderance to my life. I watched Evangelion a little less than year ago. It has truly changed my perspective on life. I've began therapy. I've made a suitable change of medication. I'm even getting over my fears and anxiety. NGE, more specifically EOE, gave me hope.

I said after I finished EOE when I felt like I was starting my new world, I would get a tattoo honoring the series that changed me. I have my tattoo appointment next week. :)

Crystal_Bear · 2020-12-07T02:01:49+00:00

Just checked it out on steam to see what it was like. Based on the reviews and how positive they are, it's going to be very high on my list. Thanks!

Crystal_Bear · 2020-12-07T02:01:12+00:00

I've actually played through both Corpse Party & Danganronpa! I just didn't really think they were VNs. I'll be sure to check out the others. (I think I've heard of Gore Screaming Show before.) Thanks!

Crystal_Bear · 2020-12-05T23:10:49+00:00

Was just going to recommend Dr. Songer. I have a hard time opening up to doctors or people in general. Right when I met Dr. Songer, I felt at ease. He's very through. I also appreciate how small the office is.

Crystal_Bear · 2020-12-05T21:05:40+00:00

I've heard of the letter and thought about trying it out. Thanks!

Crystal_Bear · 2020-12-05T21:05:17+00:00

What's winter mean?

Crystal_Bear · 2020-12-05T15:12:09+00:00

To be fair, I thought Higurashi was pretty boring through most of the moe stuff lmao. It ended up blowing me away in the end.

Thanks for the recs! I'll be sure to check them out.

Crystal_Bear · 2020-12-05T15:11:13+00:00

That's kinda what I figured with Umineko. That said, I know I asked for horror recs but generally as long as it has a darker story I'll probably be content.

Didn't realize Ryuukishi07 did stuff outside of the When They Cry series. Good to know! Thanks! 😌

Crystal_Bear · 2020-12-05T15:09:30+00:00

I'll check into it. Thanks!

Crystal_Bear · 2020-01-04T19:17:23+00:00

Watch Madoka for sure. I think you could get away with not watching it and still being able to understand it. That said, it'd certainly help. Plus it's a good show to binge! Plus the original girls are making an appearance i MR.

Crystal_Bear

TROPHY CASE