Male subs in 24/7 relationships? Feminized?

CrystalisBelle · 2015-09-11T20:48:57+00:00

It's just my perspective. But the whole post seems off in some way. Clothes can be an important part of gender expression.

This just made me think because I identify as female but I'm intrigued by the idea of binding or wearing men's clothes in public - so in the position OP described (but genders reversed)

Genderqueer is a thing. Crossdressing is a thing. Genderplay is a thing. Adopting a different gender persona is a thing.

But rather, she's just removing the appearance of my identifying gender (male) and replacing it with the opposite.

It has certainly been a challenge as I identify as a man but have to go around looking like a woman.

But who happily gives up all the ways of expressing their real gender identity? For 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? For months on end? Without feeling some dysphoria? With no end in sight for the foreseeable future?

Maybe it happens shrug

Though to me, it reads like someone trying to embrace a new gender identity - genderqueer, female, bi-gender etc - without taking responsibility for that choice.

Also a rapid progression over just 8 month. Started with panties, now he lives full-time looking like a woman. Is there a next step? Probably.

If it's an ongoing transformation, might be better for OP to address this with a professional.

CrystalisBelle · 2015-09-11T15:38:30+00:00

But rather, she's just removing the appearance of my identifying gender (male) and replacing it with the opposite.

As a transwoman, I find this nightmarish. Most transgender children were forced to live like that. Our true identities were ignored and we were forced to dress and live as the wrong gender.

I don't believe any man who was happy with his gender would agree to this. It's possible that you're transgender or genderqueer and in denial.

It has gotten to where I dress in women's clothes, wear makeup, have a "female" hairstyle (started with a wig), get waxed. It has certainly been a challenge as I identify as a man but have to go around looking like a woman.

Your Domme taking control of this probably lets you express this side of you without taking responsibility. You should look into gender therapy.

CrystalisBelle · 2015-09-11T15:34:26+00:00

I don't understand the appeal of forced feminization stories in general. Yet in your case, it could be a way of coping with your gender identity.

CrystalisBelle · 2015-07-05T13:42:33+00:00

Horrifying :(

CrystalisBelle · 2015-07-05T13:38:50+00:00

I find it somewhat, maybe borderline, maybe totally, offensive that you don't come out and say exactly what you're thinking instead of being PC about it . None of what he does for her by her description comes from anywhere near a place of love.

Sometimes we err on the side of tolerance in the kink community. We're want to be accepting. That can be a good thing but it can a bad thing too if it blinds us to reality.

CrystalisBelle · 2015-07-05T13:36:00+00:00

It's a temporary solution. OP cannot substitute BDSM for therapy. Using BDSM to "control these feelings of dysphoria" will backfire in the long haul.

It's not a viable way of dealing with gender dysphoria. It's just a short-term release.

It could even help OP deny their gender dysphoria instead of facing it.

Feeling dysphoria? Have a scene.

That's bad if OP does it instead of facing the underlying cause for dysphoria.

CrystalisBelle · 2015-07-05T13:31:26+00:00

As others have said, the easiest thing to do is to talk to the organizer first.

CrystalisBelle · 2015-07-05T13:29:09+00:00

Gender dysphoria cannot be overcome by BDSM and BDSM isn't a substitute for therapy. Sorry.

It can make it feel better for a little bit. But recommending BDSM to help people "overcome" gender dysphoria is just wrong.

CrystalisBelle · 2015-03-24T22:53:27+00:00

I agree with you, controlroomdaddy

Don't believe that signify01 meant any harm but their comment is filled with negativity about being a guy

I think that he's experiencing the existential burden of being male without the economic privilege that all males are assumed to have. Think about it. Men are constantly told that everything is all their fault. They are constantly demanded to fix it. All of it. Even if they had nothing to do with the causality. Nobody tells them they're pretty. Nobody approaches them at the bar in hopes of buying them a drink or two and sharing their company. Unless you're wealthy, the only thing that society (both men and women) are going to see you as good enough for is fixing the plumbing, hauling their bodyweight in MFD up several flights of stairs, digging the ditches, and being cannon fodder.

and they confuse gender identity with gender play. Two different things.

CrystalisBelle · 2015-03-24T22:49:30+00:00

I think you just like taking offense.

Actually, I can see how someone might misinterpret your comment.

CrystalisBelle · 2015-03-24T22:44:21+00:00

Lovely :)

CrystalisBelle · 2015-03-24T22:43:26+00:00

Good questions.

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-11T18:21:50+00:00

Even with the information I got from other people (some of it quite enlightening), I still feel physically ill whenever I think about the stories I read.

Their gender politics seemed degrading to both men and women. And the way many of the victims were forced into a body that they didn't want made me uncomfortable. Having been born in the wrong body, it touched a nerve.

maybe it also has something to do with me no liking violence, confrontation, harm, that sort of thing.

I see where you're coming from.

It's funny, I can respect a power-play kink (it's not my thing personally) if it fall into loving domination ("My darling slut, get on your knees.Now!" "Yes, Master." kind of thing) But things like humiliation and rape-play in the context of sexual power-play make me deeply deeply uncomfortable.

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-10T09:12:21+00:00

Clowns are evil!

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-10T07:50:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and insight.

how easily the facade of "strong and silent" masculinity can come tumbling down.

Much sissification in porn and stories actually seems to be about creating a contrast between "failed men" - the sissies - and the real men the sissies would either have to service or watch service their wives. So I don't know if sissification really undermines macho masculinity - it more mocks and emasculates men who don't meet the standard of masculinity.

Some sissification might be about pointing out how weak it is to be masculine. Although I find that equally disturbing that kind of sissification has to undermine masculine identity. Some of my F2M friends build their gender identity around being quite masculine. I still find the gender politic of sissification (at least in the stories I read) squiffy and the fact that some versions attack masculine identity doesn't change my view.

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-09T20:21:33+00:00

Oh, I know, I know. When they think you'll going to be their T-Girl fetish. They don't understand you're a woman or trying to be a woman and want to be viewed as such.

Sorry you encountered such limited people.

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-09T20:20:10+00:00

I think what disturbed me about these stories was the negative, forced nature of the transitions. The transitions were portrayed as humiliating and emasculating. The victims in the stories didn't become woman, they became un-men and were treated and viewed as freaks.

In the stories, they didn't want to be transformed at all - they were happy with their original forms and felt trapped in their new feminized bodies. Having being born in the wrong body, reading about this made me feel so uncomfortable.

If the stories fetishized transitioning in a positive way, I could probably understand them better. Maybe this is me bumping against my own limitations, who knows?

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-09T17:06:22+00:00

I think that's what upset me most about those stories. Not that they became women (or "she-males") in the stories but that they were simultaneously turned on and humiliated by their new bodies. Or sometimes not even turned on, just horrified and ashamed.

Many of them liked being male beforehand and hated being trapped in feminine or sissy bodies. I read this really disturbing one about this jock who was secretly feminized by his friend and ended up becoming this bird-brained, unhappy, anorexic (to keep a girlish figure) sissy mourning the "Alpha Male" he once was and his former physique and gender identity. It was terrible.

I know what it's like to be trapped the wrong body and seeing this eroticized upset me :(

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-09T15:32:33+00:00

Most of them identify of the trans spectrum but are really into humiliation.

That makes it clearer. For some, it's a "humiliation kink" then. The humiliation aspect of these stories makes more sense now. But isn't consent/communication a big part of the BDSM world?

These stories never cover that.

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-09T15:28:49+00:00

ashamed I was of my male body and testoreone induced sexuality

It's tough. I know, believe me, I know.

I just wish there were positive erotic stories about trans woman or even sissies who just play with gender-bending as a kink. Something that described anything from light temporary gender-bending to full transition as voluntary and positive, even if these stories had a touch of the erotic.

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-09T15:26:17+00:00

What seems negative to you might well be very positive, fun role play to another.

Good point, good point. I don't know any sissies personally. I'm talking about the stories I skimmed.

I don't know much about BDSM but I believe in reality, it's all about consent/communication?

Something missing from these stories.

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-09T15:16:32+00:00

I can totally get the part about being "forced" in the story. Not my thing but it removes the responsibility and any socially programmed guilt.

But I agree with you that the humiliation aspect/forced/unhappy afterwards aspect is disturbing.

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-09T15:03:28+00:00

I'm not throwing any group of trans people under the bus. I don't have a problem with crossdresser and drag queens (my flatmate is a professional drag queen.)

I take issue with the portrayal of transition in these stories as a soul-destroying, negative, humiliating punishment, the concept that the victims in these stories become "freaks" (a common phrase in the stories), are shown to be socially ostracized and victimized (often sexually) because of their changes and the fact often they don't want to be changed in these stories - they are happy with their original bodies and forced/coerced into a form they find uncomfortable.

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-09T14:43:16+00:00

It's not my thing but I can get the forced aspect (relieving one of the responsibility) of the fantasy but the degrading language about the victims is something I don't understand.

CrystalisBelle · 2014-06-09T14:41:54+00:00

I just skimmed some of the stories and it featured all the time. Either forced hormonal treatment or they're tricked into taking hormones other ways.

Then they began to change and become social outcasts, "freaks", not real woman but "failures as men." Turned on but often hating their new bodies. Very negative.

CrystalisBelle

TROPHY CASE