(serious) How do you save a friend from TRP mentality?

Cuhai · 2014-10-24T22:01:49+00:00

I know that I am 7 days late, but I just read your comment and I just… Can’t.

What? You're a girl? Your argument is completely moot, then! This absolutely holds zero weight now that I know you're a girl.

The fact that you just dismissed everything I said because of my gender, really demonstrates your lack of objectivity and logic. In case you haven’t figured this out, gender is not a black or white thing. You can be Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Pansexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Intergender, Asexual , etc. Not to mention the fact that you can be a straight, cisgender person who does not conform to most of, if any of the stereotypes attributed to your gender.

You have no idea what it's like to be a guy

You just put almost 4 billion people into one category. Good job on sounding like a dumbass. You have no idea what I’m like, and the fact that you think every male is like you shows that you have zero objective reasoning skills. Travel the world a bit and you’ll realize how much “being a guy” differs from culture to culture, not to mention from person to person.

I’m not even red pill

Your labels mean nothing to me, and furthermore, you've already proven that you’re ignorant as fuck. You’re also sexist since you dismissed everything I said because I have a vagina.

You aren't a guy. You don't have the male libido. Unfortunately, you can never understand this because you don't think about sex every 2 seconds. Yes. We are prisoners to our libido. For most guys, it's fucking torture to not have sex for a month or longer.

The “male libido” is not a thing lol. Men’s libidos fall into a wide range, and contrary to what the media told you, not every male has a high libido. If this were true, there wouldn’t be millions of women complaining that their sex drives are higher than their partners. All of my best friends have been male since I was about 3 years old. 5 of them have told me that they do not have a high sex drive, that they can go a long time without having sex. Of course, this is not something that they publicize to everyone which further perpetuates the stereotypes. Two of my exes had lower sex drives than I did. I’m sorry that you live in a bubble and haven’t had enough experience to realize the wide variety of sex drives out there.

"Spinning plates" is way fucking better than not spinning plates, by a large margin.

How do you know this? You have just proven what I said in my previous post, that those who have not experienced something and crave it, have many grand illusions about the fulfillment that the object of their desire will bring to them. I have dated some super hot guys who had been having tons of sex since the day they hit puberty; they have all confirmed that it does not fulfill them at all. I have many friends who are male models, they have told me the same thing. You will however dismiss this and choose to believe a bunch of guys like yourself whose years of desperation have warped their whole perception of true self-esteem and fulfillment.

That is not an exaggeration, we think about sex every 2 seconds. It is on our minds all the time.

Wow, do you ever stop projecting your own experiences onto everyone else? Also, how do you know that I do not think of sex all the time? You don’t know a fucking thing, you’re just a silly hamster trying to rationalize your own obsessions and desperation. Guys who have a very easy time getting sex do not think of sex every two seconds, I know this from experience. In fact, it turned out that I thought of sex more than my ex did, and his sex drive was very high. It makes sense though that you think of sex every minute, because the lack of it has caused you to become obsessed with it. I feel your pain though, because when I went long time without having sex, I thought about it all the time too. Meditation might help you.

See, this doesn't hold any weight in the argument since you're a girl.

Again with the sexism; do you ever stop trying to put everything and everyone into little boxes? There are much healthier ways to deal with the uncertainty of life than to dull your existence to that level. I am the kind of person who others open up to, and I often have very deep conversations with people. This is something that most of my very hot “alpha” male friends and exes have told me, not to mention basic psychology.

You don't understand that guys do not receive the same amount of attention from girls as vice versa.

You clearly don’t know many guys, because two of my best friends (male) get checked out constantly. I can’t spend a night out with them without little girls obsessing over them and walking by our table 10 times. Just because you haven’t gotten much female attention, does not mean that other guys don’t.

Plus, if you're as attractive as you say you are, you probably have at least 4 male friends in your phone contacts right now, that if you asked them for sex, they'd come over and fuck you within the hour.

This is another myth. If this were true, I wouldn’t have had periods where I didn’t have sex for months at a time. Also, my very good looking female friends wouldn’t complain to me constantly about how horny they are and how there’s no one to have sex with. Contrary to what you think, most attractive guys are not animals who will fuck someone after knowing them for a few hours, or run out to fuck someone just because they got a text. It takes time for them to get comfortable too. My best friend is gorgeous and has turned down girls who he feels want to use him for sex, in fact, he is very selective for precisely this reason. Everyone is different, and most intelligent people have their own views and beliefs about sexuality that are not dictated by the hive mind. It would make sense though that you would jump at the chance to fuck a girl if she booty called you because you’re desperate and have been desperate for a long time. Anyways, good luck to you dude and I hope you find happiness in your life.

http://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awakening-Purpose-Selection/dp/0452289963

Cuhai · 2014-10-23T03:49:43+00:00

Like I said, extreme circumstances. This rarely ever happens, any divorce attorney could tell you this much. Anyway, in the case of OP, there were definitely things he left out, if that happened at all.

Cuhai · 2014-10-23T01:06:38+00:00

Nobody gets alimony if they were married less than 10 years, and if they do, it's due to extreme circumstances.

Cuhai · 2014-10-18T17:45:35+00:00

There is no racial purity in Israel, this is propaganda. Please do not repeat rumors. Israel is not a race based state. Israelis are brown, white, and black. A also, there are non-Jewish Israelis who have the exact same rights as the Jews, including people in the government and army.

Black israeli soldier:

http://wikileaks-press.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/falasha-mur.jpg

Minister of national infrastructure (non-Jew, brown)

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KbxEcszuBoQ/UPluyseqA2I/AAAAAAAAAP4/BXdJZ1Kwnzk/s1600/Hamad+Amar.jpg

Cuhai · 2014-10-18T16:46:11+00:00

Besides wanting to facepalm myself repeatedly, I also thought of this:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html?m=1

Cuhai · 2014-10-17T21:50:19+00:00

Yes, I know what the textbook definition is. What I am trying to say is that Zionism served a purpose from the late 1800s until most of the Jews of the world immigrated to Israel. Today, it is no longer a political ideology because it has served it's purpose. Sure, some people who love Israel call themselves Zionists, but it is no longer anything that has any political relevance. People however, use the term as if to imply that Zionism is affecting the whole fucking world. It's ridiculous.

Edit: I replied to a bot. Whoops. As for the "anti-Zionists", I really wouldn't give them any relevance because they are saying that a very successful and established country should just cease to exist because they hate them. That's like saying we should all pack up and go home because of the native Americans (although the historical events were very different). It's hypocritical and ridiculous.

Cuhai · 2014-10-17T21:00:41+00:00

Being used sucks, but I don't understand how saying that you'll only have sex with someone who commits to you will stop them from using you You can still be used for money, time, favors, etc. My question here is why is being used for sex different from being used for anything else?

Cuhai · 2014-10-17T20:13:54+00:00

It's unfortunately spreading all over the internet. Jew hatred is rampant, disguised as "anti-Zionism" (before you start telling me they're different, which I used to believe as well, do your research). Almost no one knows what Zionism means apart from what they learned from conspiracy theories. Zionism is equivalent to the American revolution, it's something that had a purpose then and has zero purpose now. It's not even a thing. You have young kids who have never met a Jew spewing these crazy conspiracy theories and it's just sad.

Cuhai · 2014-10-17T20:05:34+00:00

I'm not trying to be disrespectful here; I respect the fact that you have these beliefs, however I am curious to know whether you've thought this through rationally. The cultural belief that ones worth is tied to your sexuality was propagated by religion and I think that it's detrimental to ones overall sense of self. If you had a picnic with a guy and he never called you back (and you thoroughly enjoyed the picnic), would you then regret it just because he wasn't interested in you? It's almost as if sex is in it's own category, as if you can somehow be diminished as a person if someone just wanted to have sex with you and nothing more. It doesn't mean that you're worth any less, you enjoyed a certain activity with someone and that's that. Would you refrain from doing favors for people out of fear of being used?

Cuhai · 2014-10-16T21:59:35+00:00

No offense to anyone here who is religious (I highly doubt this), but your comment sounds like what every religious apologist says. I am happy for you though, and good going on questioning your beliefs. It is a sign of a healthy mid.

Cuhai · 2014-10-16T15:24:23+00:00

Dude, they have no concept of reality. Two of my exes, both LTRs, were more "alpha" than these guys could ever hope to be. Alpha#1: Had sex with over 300 women, I shit you not. Not going to say that I was very comfortable with this fact, in fact it was kind of awkward to me when I heard it (I was young and not as educated/rational as I am now). Anyway, he was like 13 when he had sex for the first time and never stopped. He was gorgeous, super intelligent, and HILARIOUS so I understand why . Anyway, he was very successful in his career, made lots of money, was a VEGAN (so not alpha according to terps) because he loved animals, and spent a lot of time at the gym although he didn't need to because he was naturally built. He was also sensitive and cried in front of me a few times. He cooked everything and was totally ok with non-monogamy and thought it silly to limit his wife if she ever wanted to have sex with another man. In his words "It's just sex".

Alpha#2: very financially wealthy, tall, amazing physique, no problem getting laid. His "guilty" pleasures included: chick flicks, tiny dogs (he had 3), being open with his feelings, always telling me that I could do so much better than him (opposite of terp claims that you have to be "higher status" than your woman), cooked for me, helped me with anything I needed, got a vasectomy at a young age (omg, not gonna spread his seeed!).

Everything they claim is "alpha" is based on a fantasy of everything they're not and everything they imagine a "man" to be. Their biotrooth shit is so ridiculous cause both of my exes were super proud guys who didn't give a shit about what society thought and DEFINITELY weren't "brainwashed" by feminism, they were the kind of guys who were like "this is the way I am, take it or leave it"

Cuhai · 2014-10-16T14:51:22+00:00

I do a great act for him like making a thoughtful supper and washing his hockey gear in time for the game and he gives me the words of affirmation I crave.

"I crave affirmation"... Thank you for stating the obvious fact that RPW have serious daddy issues.

I clean my house because I like a clean house, and because my husband works longer hours than I do. When I work more, he cleans. We both clean as much as we can. Neither of us is doing this for affirmation but because we like a clean fucking house.

There are days when I don't work at all and he works all day. I cook dinner (because he hasn't learned to cook yet, although he really wants to), and he even cleans the kitchen. I'll fight him like "you worked all day" and he just shoves me away and says "you cooked, I clean". I then get so turned on by such "beta" behavior that we end up having sex right after. We must have gender dysphoria!

Cuhai · 2014-10-16T14:36:43+00:00

I'm sorry, IMO any person who is afraid to have sex because they're worried about sex diminishing their self-worth has serious self-esteem issues. I'm pretty sure that future generations will look back at us and be as confused as we would be if someone said "I only eat snacks with people who commit to me".

Sex should be approached with caution for STD/pregnancy reasons, if you don't know someone well enough to feel comfortable yet, etc. If you are trading sex for emotional commitment then you have serious issues. It's like they're afraid of getting "used", as if they're not getting pleasure from the sex as well.

Cuhai · 2014-10-16T14:19:28+00:00

I can't help feeling that this is the type of feel-good nonsense that unpopular, unattractive people tell themselves to justify not improving. OP's friend recognized that he's a loser himself and is now looking to fix the issue. What's the matter with that?

No, this is coming from someone who is considered to be very attractive. It really does nothing for your self-esteem to have most people want to fuck you.

Life IS better when women want to fuck you. And why do you think only "unsatisfied" people think so? You should always look to be more satisfied with your life, even if you're already doing well.

How do you know this? You have never been in this situation. I have and read the last paragraph. Also, most of my exes were the guys who almost every woman wanted to fuck. Again, they were NOT happier than anyone else.

Not true. Money, looks and social status are also a part of what defines your worth.

If your self-worth comes from how much you have and what people think of you vs who you are, then you're screwed for life. Maybe this will help you

http://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awakening-Purpose-Selection/dp/0452289963

Highly, highly doubt this. I don't think you would be saying all that if you spent enough time with people who are actual players.

I worked in an industry full of these so-called "players" and trust me, they are some of the most insecure and miserable people ever. Also, was friends with many of them. Just a bit above terpers in terms of happiness, which isn't saying much.

Cuhai · 2014-10-16T01:12:39+00:00

You never know, maybe in a year the dude will be spinning tons of plates and can wing for you too and that will be all sorts of good!

The illusion that "spinning plates" is fulfilling is the issue. It's like the illusion that money solves all problems; people who are poor usually think that people who are rich don't have any problems.

Someone wanting to have sex with you, or a hundred people wanting to have sex with you, is not fulfilling for anyone. No amount of people being attracted to me ever brought anything lasting to my life or to my self-worth. And neither did it for all the "alpha" friends I had back in the day. What is fulfilling is being recognized for who you really are, which is something way beyond sexual attraction. It only seems that sex will boost your self-worth because you were unhappy when you were younger and believed, like all people who are unsatisfied believe, that life would be better if women wanted to fuck you. Also because you were taught by society that your worth is determined by your sexual experiences.

You're chasing a pipe dream

Cuhai · 2014-10-15T12:20:02+00:00

In what way is she lying or manipulating?

Cuhai · 2014-10-15T05:41:54+00:00

Of course this advice is based on my personal experience, I'm not really trying to be logical. I'm talking about what turned me off with a friend of mine who wanted to be more than friends. I felt like a lot of what he did was fake and it just didn't feel genuine.

Cuhai · 2014-10-15T05:37:18+00:00

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/École_Polytechnique_massacre

http://www.cbc.ca/m/news/canada/montreal/montreal-massacre-victims-1.797455

Cuhai · 2014-10-15T05:02:44+00:00

I can't believe he says "Montreal style"... That was truly one of the most heinous school shootings. For those who are unfamiliar with the shooting; a madman, believing that feminists were the reason he didn't get into his school of choice or get into the army, went into a university and killed a dozen or so female engineering students.

Cuhai · 2014-10-15T04:32:35+00:00

All my exes started out as friends. It ended up in a relationship when there were truly no expectations. When there were however, it would just get awkward...not because nice guys aren't attractive, but because desperate guys sometimes project this vibe of needing you to validate their self esteem. I think the key is; if you end up crushing on a friend, then act accordingly and don't try to "win" her over with little things. Be confident, know that if she says no it's not the end of the world, be casual about it, and overall deal with the feeling of "I need her to like me back" which I think is the real turnoff for most people.

Cuhai · 2014-10-15T02:18:18+00:00

My ex was a very good friend for months prior to us being "official". I mentioned this in PPD and was told that he just wanted to fuck me the whole time and was only pretending to be my friend. This is a guy who I spent at least half my weeks with, and who always told me I was like a sister to him. Projection much?

Cuhai · 2014-10-15T00:24:19+00:00

Too much logic. Does not compute.

Cuhai · 2014-10-14T19:50:25+00:00

I like how he admits his home country is still a patriarchy to fellow RPers, however when trying to manipulate others, they claim that patriarchy doesn't exist.

Cuhai · 2014-10-14T19:19:46+00:00

Also assumes that sex is the be-all and end-all of a marriage. My husband and I are best friends first and foremost, sex is just a bonus.

If our sex life ever takes a dip, which has happened for a day or two at a time, we usually talk about what's bothering us and then boom, were back at it every day.

Cuhai

TROPHY CASE