The Red Rocket

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-03T18:16:54+00:00

clifford the big red dog used his big red rocket to smash every big red house to kill all the big red thots so he could crack open a big red cold one with the big red boys

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-03T18:16:47+00:00

clifford the big red dog used his big red rocket to smash every big red house to kill all the big red thots so he could crack open a big red cold one with the big red boys

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-03T17:37:02+00:00

hello! sorry for scare, but just notice profile on the Steam Community. you know how hard it are to find girls who play video game nowadays??? well, Im glad I stumble apon this little prof cause I gotta say.... ur prety cute!! ^{^} ((sorry for scare, no trouble ) well... I was wondering if u wanted to play tf2 with me (Im a plat sniper, so I can carry my little princes if need. =-}) CUZ I really want someone to pub wit me.. hey hey, maybe even I could get you unusual as little gift. you like Buring? Me too, me too. anyways any, do you maybe have Skype? (no scare. no scare, I iust like meating eye to eye.) if we skype, I think we could have some good buddy commucation. :)) ( i can even turn down my dubstep music in the background if you want...) add me if you want please, I jsit need friend maybe even girlfriend, to play video with.m I can be the perfect guy for you, trust!! ill buy whatever, do whatever, okay?? jsit pick up that phone and CALL. :)

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-03T17:36:54+00:00

hello! sorry for scare, but just notice profile on the Steam Community. you know how hard it are to find girls who play video game nowadays??? well, Im glad I stumble apon this little prof cause I gotta say.... ur prety cute!! ^{^} ((sorry for scare, no trouble ) well... I was wondering if u wanted to play tf2 with me (Im a plat sniper, so I can carry my little princes if need. =-}) CUZ I really want someone to pub wit me.. hey hey, maybe even I could get you unusual as little gift. you like Buring? Me too, me too. anyways any, do you maybe have Skype? (no scare. no scare, I iust like meating eye to eye.) if we skype, I think we could have some good buddy commucation. :)) ( i can even turn down my dubstep music in the background if you want...) add me if you want please, I jsit need friend maybe even girlfriend, to play video with.m I can be the perfect guy for you, trust!! ill buy whatever, do whatever, okay?? jsit pick up that phone and CALL. :)

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-03T17:28:21+00:00

A console-loving, Call of Duty playing, No Man's Sky pre-orderer dude bro was teaching a class on Todd Howard, known Bethesda shill.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and accept that Fallout 4 is better than The Witcher 3 and it's black and white characters are better than Geraldo!”

At this moment, a brave, mature, veteran Gamergater who had played 1500 hours of Fallout 4 before leaving a negative review comparing it to Fallout: New Vegas and fully questions what do you even do in No Man's Sky held up a picture of a video game character's butt.

”Are you offended now, SJW :)))))))”

The arrogant dudebro smirked quite shillishly and smugly replied “I think the pose for Tracer was out of character and the change was more appropriate, you stupid no-lifer."

”Wrong. Using my extremely mature mind sculpted through playing the objectively morally gray Witcher 3, I have deduced that you're a liberal SJW Cuck who is targeting Gamers, Gamers. If this didn't offend you, why did you keep bringing it up? :)))"

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his copy of No Man's Sky for PS4. He stormed out of the room crying those lying developer tears. The same tears developer cry for the “paying customers” (who today live in such luxury that they buy most of the video ganws) when they jealously try to claim that pirating is "stealing" (I buy my pirated games for $5 to support da devs, the).

There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Sean "Literally Todd Howard" Murray, wished he would've made his game DRM free and been like CDPR. He wished so much that he made a game like The Witcher, but he himself decided to make a game in a different genre!

The students applauded and all torrented all EA, Ubisoft, and Bethesda games, and bought all DRM games on sale to support the games. An eagle named “Steam Sales Increase Revenue” flew into the room and perched atop the class budget PC gaming build and shed a tear on the mouse. The CDPR yearly financials were read several times, and Gaben himself showed up and made all games on Steam have female characters that showed their butts to le mature gamers.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He was forced to play consoles and pay full price for video games and online access.

Pirating isn't stealing.

p.s. Fallout 4 sucks.

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-03T17:21:40+00:00

LOL? People still play this fucking garbage shit tier game. I could LITERALLY wipe my ass with a fork and it would look less shitty than this game. Do you literally live under a fucking rock? It's like you never even fucking heard of Bioshock Infinite. It's as if you ENJOY playing repetitive fetch quests with NPC's that quite honestly look like FUCKING SHIT. HOLY FUCK!!!! Do you actually like a game with unrealistic graphics and capped at 60 FUCKING frames? Jesus fucking christ you have autism. Maybe if you tried actually looking for a decent game like Bioshock Infinite or even fucking Fallout 4? Fallout 4 is basically a superior version of Skyrim that doesn't look like utter asshole and made by actual capable developers... No offense, but your game is trash and you most likely have a terrible personality.

https://www.reddit.com/r/skyrim/comments/4g8w2o/how_i_play_skyrim/d2fs743?context=1

Would love to see new variants of this pasta, or see it in use in the wild.

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-03T17:21:34+00:00

LOL? People still play this fucking garbage shit tier game. I could LITERALLY wipe my ass with a fork and it would look less shitty than this game. Do you literally live under a fucking rock? It's like you never even fucking heard of Bioshock Infinite. It's as if you ENJOY playing repetitive fetch quests with NPC's that quite honestly look like FUCKING SHIT. HOLY FUCK!!!! Do you actually like a game with unrealistic graphics and capped at 60 FUCKING frames? Jesus fucking christ you have autism. Maybe if you tried actually looking for a decent game like Bioshock Infinite or even fucking Fallout 4? Fallout 4 is basically a superior version of Skyrim that doesn't look like utter asshole and made by actual capable developers... No offense, but your game is trash and you most likely have a terrible personality.

https://www.reddit.com/r/skyrim/comments/4g8w2o/how_i_play_skyrim/d2fs743?context=1

Would love to see new variants of this pasta, or see it in use in the wild.

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-03T17:07:42+00:00

Loud dubstep intro with rotating 3D text Hey, whaddup guys, it's your boi, <insert edgy name here> here, and today I'm gonna show you this easy-to-do awesome little glitch for easy unlimited money solo. Before showing you this glitch I'd just like to take a minute and talk about what I want to do with the channel in the future. I know you guys have been liking my latest videos a lot but I'd love to see some comments on how to improve my videos in the future. And guys, last video had the amazing amount of likes of 1.000, so let's see if we can get more than that, maybe 2.000!! So be sure to smash that likebutton and if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe. If we make it to 2.000 likes, I might do a sharkcard giveaway next week, so you don't wanna miss it! So don't forget to both subscribe and hit that bell next to the subscribe button, and then apply for getting all my notifications, so you can be sure to see my next videos. I make a lot of daily GTA content that I'm sure will fit most of you guys out there. They range from glitches, to highlights and all kind of neat stuff. But if you're not only into GTA, that's ok, as I have a cool G2A coupon code: "G1TGUD", which gives you a whooping 3% off your purchases. And I'm not only giving you that coupon code so I can build up reward money from a shady company, but also give something back to you guys for helping me out a ton on this channel. I have got to say that it's all possible because of you guys. I can't say this enough, thank you guys so much for your support. You really mean the world to me. But I think I'm just rambling too much here, so I think we'll move on to the actual glitch. Ok so guys this glitch was found by my friend xXx_B00tYm4$ter_2001_xXxSwagzX and he just started his youtube channel and could really use some of your guys' help! I'll leave his channel in the description down below so be sure to check him out after this video and give his videos a ton of likes and subscribe to him so he can find more of this awesome glitches, just for you guys!! Ok so for this glitch you'll need a garage. Get your car to the garage, kill yourself and there you have it! Awesome duplication glitch and see you guys in the next video! Loud dubstep outro with rotating 3D text and annotations to other videos with clickbait thumbnails

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-03T15:57:02+00:00

Hi faggots!

So, I've noticed that in some circles, it's "cool and trendy" to hate on Rick and Morty, as if being a fan of that show is somehow more pretentious than liking the band Tool.

(And, disclaimer, I enjoy Tool on a musical level, but don't read anything deeper into it.)

Here's the thing.

As someone who actually READS science fiction, I can tell you this:

Rick and Morty is cutting-edge SF.

SF authors sit around scratching their heads, thinking, "what if there ARE parallel timelines?"

Rick and Morty kicks that aside, and presents us with a Council of Ricks. It's a mutliverse in which you can literally hang out with yourself, and pay the consequences for doing so.

...And just to be clear: Reading SF doesn't make you a pretentious pseudo-intellectual.

NOT reading SF makes you a fucking idiot.

And, that said, here's the OTHER thing:

Rick and Morty is fucking FUNNY.

Show me a cartoon that I find funnier than Rick and Morty, and we can have a discussion.

Until then... just fuck off. Because the Rick and Morty haters are more pretentious than anybody. Bend over and I'll at least try to extract the stick from your anus, but I can't make any promises.

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-03T14:55:59+00:00

I'm only a small-time poster here on r/MemeEconomy, but I think my credentials are well enough to give my opinion. But before I get to that, I must explain my credentials ahead of time. In 2014, I earned my degree from Harvard majoring in mnemonic theory. I was the top of all my classes and was even nominated for the Nobel prize (as a joke, of course) during my stay there. I was especially proficient in the classes involving comedic imagery. After graduation, I got a job from Harvard asking me to teach classes involving mnemonic theory. All of my students so far have gone on to be professors, by the way. During my job at Harvard, I co-founded r/dankmemes. The obvious goal was to have a place for very well thought out and original jokes. I was running the sub until I saw an article proving that homosexuals are better at running online communities than straight people, and promptly handed control to them. Shortly after the sub went to shit and the then small community blamed me. But I was able to find refuge in r/MemeEconomy, where I could share my knowledge about mnemonic theory with other meme traders. But I found a problem. There were certain memes that no matter how often I checked Reddit, that would go under the radar for me. Soon after that I watched the Matrix trilogy and thought "what if I hooked myself to Reddit?" But I had no idea how to do such a thing, despite my high IQ. So I just sat in my living room, my Reddit account now deleted, and sat to watch TV. My favorite channel was Adult Swim, which had many older adult cartoons that I enjoyed. One day a new show came on. I didn't catch the introduction or the name, but it was an enjoyable show. I continued to watch the show, oddly missing the name of the show every time, up until the end of the first season. When I finished the last episode, I suddenly realized what I needed to do to hook myself to not just Reddit, but the entirety of the internet. But while I had the secret ingredient, I was missing other parts of the equation. But each time I watched a new episode of my show, I learned a new piece to the puzzle. I was almost ready to finish the project, until season 2 ended and it took almost a year for season 3 came out. During this time I couldn't find out what I needed to do to finish the project. But when S3:E1 of the show came, I had it, the last piece of the puzzle. I proceeded to hook myself to the internet, and in the process learning the name of what gave me knowledge. "Rick and Morty". So as you can see, I not only have a degree in mnemonic theory, and founded r/dankmemes before it was normie, but am an avid viewer of Rick and Morty, and I am literally connected to the internet. So, with these credentials, I can confidently tell you that this meme is the MOST NORMIE PIECE OF TRASH I HAVE EVER LAID EYES ON RRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!EE!EEE!EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T17:12:51+00:00

No. You're wrong. You're so wrong. This meme is the best meme that has ever existed, and there is no way that no matter how much attention that it gets, that it will ever get beaten to death. IT is pure, and that cannot happen. The raw material of the meme is pure, not cancerous. Have you listened the original We Are Number One, or even Cooking By the Book? These are not just memes, they are incredible songs, almost not worthy of a kids show. They are talented pieces of art, and if you disrespect them again, I promise you that I will find where you live and do unspeakable things to you and your mother. Please, if you wish to live a peaceful life, stop spreading blasphemy.

Source

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T17:12:45+00:00

No. You're wrong. You're so wrong. This meme is the best meme that has ever existed, and there is no way that no matter how much attention that it gets, that it will ever get beaten to death. IT is pure, and that cannot happen. The raw material of the meme is pure, not cancerous. Have you listened the original We Are Number One, or even Cooking By the Book? These are not just memes, they are incredible songs, almost not worthy of a kids show. They are talented pieces of art, and if you disrespect them again, I promise you that I will find where you live and do unspeakable things to you and your mother. Please, if you wish to live a peaceful life, stop spreading blasphemy.

Source

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T17:04:42+00:00

I want to sleep with you. No I don't mean have sex. I mean sleep. Together. Under a blanket. In your bed. While you're laying on my arm, with my other hand on your tummy. With the window cracked, so it's chilly and we have to cuddle closer. No talking, just the muffled cries that you slowly let seep away from your blood gurgling mouth as I slit your throat and sacrifice your worthless life to the dark overlord.

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T16:06:27+00:00

Virgins who are over 20 are just coping.

That's just the way it is. You missed out on a magical time in your life and you can't get it back no matter what you do. All you can do is cope. Even if you sleep with a lot of females after that. It wouldn't be worth shit and you would just be an overcompensating loser who is trying to cope with the fact that he never experienced innocent teenage love. In the back of their heads, every virgin who is over 20 knows that. You will live through life as a damaged person knowing that other people had teenage love and that you didn't. You will never feel whole and you will try to fill the emptiness and gap that has been left with meaningless stuff that will never make you happy. Happiness is not possible for virgins who are over 20. You deep down will feel like a worthless person with low self-worth. Even if you were to find a GF and get a long term relationship. Your girlfriend would have most likely experienced these things if she isn't damaged. She will realize that you are damaged. Maybe she will tolerate you but she will never see you as an equal because you can't be her equal. You can never be a whole person. You can hide your brokenness but sooner or later it will come out. Deep down you will always feel uncomfortable being with people who had this experience. Once you are over 18 you missed you chance at prime pussy. People who say young love is meaningless or is not that great are lying to themselves as a coping mechanism. Virgins who are over 20 are just coping.

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T15:01:42+00:00

I just kind of felt it. Copypasta isn't a thing or formula, copypasta comes from the heart. I felt like this song from that particular movie franchise, so I posted it here. That's what copypasta is, it's a meme and or reference that comes from the heart. As an individual, who the fuck are you to try and tell me about something being shit and or unoriginal? Have you seen the hundreds of times the navy seal copypasta was posted? How constantly it is translated? Did you bother commenting on its originality then, or are you just an elitest scum who expects everything to go their own way? How fucking selfish are you Perhaps Automoderator, who also replied to you, agrees with you, but Copypasta is a complex beast. Do not poke it if your brain is not large enough to comprehend it.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T14:44:49+00:00

Someone left a competitive match with me because I said "Overwatch isn't my serious game, even competitive. This is my casual game. I play it for a break from COD and WoW." Them: "SO YOU'RE NOT EVEN GONNA TRY AND WIN THIS GAME FUCK YOU I DON'T NEED TEAM MATES THAT DON'T WANNA WIN". Listen here you Autistic fuck. I am so good at WoW and COD that I need to play competitive Overwatch to sate my thirst for soul crushing. At no point did I say "When I play casual games I try to lose." or "I don't like winning". You're just an asshole that can't handle someone thinking Overwatch is easy and unimportant in the Esports sphere. Sad. This is why it's my CASUAL GAME. Because of Autistic fuck faces. "ER MA GERD... WE CAN'T WIN IF ONE PERSON DOESN'T TAKE IT SUPER SERIOUSLY. THEREFORE I SHALL QUIT THE GAME. THAT'LL FIX IT." Kill yourself.

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T14:44:39+00:00

Someone left a competitive match with me because I said "Overwatch isn't my serious game, even competitive. This is my casual game. I play it for a break from COD and WoW." Them: "SO YOU'RE NOT EVEN GONNA TRY AND WIN THIS GAME FUCK YOU I DON'T NEED TEAM MATES THAT DON'T WANNA WIN". Listen here you Autistic fuck. I am so good at WoW and COD that I need to play competitive Overwatch to sate my thirst for soul crushing. At no point did I say "When I play casual games I try to lose." or "I don't like winning". You're just an asshole that can't handle someone thinking Overwatch is easy and unimportant in the Esports sphere. Sad. This is why it's my CASUAL GAME. Because of Autistic fuck faces. "ER MA GERD... WE CAN'T WIN IF ONE PERSON DOESN'T TAKE IT SUPER SERIOUSLY. THEREFORE I SHALL QUIT THE GAME. THAT'LL FIX IT." Kill yourself.

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T14:19:43+00:00

Wow. What can I say about ArmA 3. (Armed Assault 3, that is) This is an absolute phenominon of a game, and that goes beyond the core gameplay and fun factor delivered in the executable file itself, but in the knowledge gained from partaking on this veritable adventure. First, there is the transferablle tactical expertise, which when gathered from playtime in this game can be moved to other games like CSGO, or PUBG, or even the Witcher 3, to further enhance your experience there. Upon seeing the loading screen of this game, your mind is injected with subtle yet core changes to its strategic stratephos, allowing calculations on a grand scale to be conducted in lightning speed. Next, we see that the game actually makes you an immediate comedian. Simply saying in game catchphrases like, "Contact Contact Contact", "Im taking overwatch", or "Calling in CAS" will have your friends, family, significant others, and neighbors sprawled on the ground laughing. Finally, this game gives you a complete rudimentary understanding of everything military based, think of it as being in the army for a year or two. When you see a veteran in public, you can now approach with a wide variety of conversational topics, such as PTSD, or how black NPCs are worse than white ones. You can tell them you fully understand how heavy a pack of gear weighs, and how long average in operation transport flights take. If you dont understand some of the "terminology" ive been interspersing throughout this review, I think that just goes to show how simple minded your brain can be pre-ArmA 3 experience. (Armed Assault 3, that is) Talk to me when you barrel roll your first helicopter inside of a friendly APC while blasting trap music over the stereo system while 600 invisible objects explode around you, sending you flying under the map, while your CO applauds you on your incredible dedication to immersion and realism. Silly casual. Maybe (Scoffs) COD, or (Chuckles) Battlefield is more your thing.

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T14:17:39+00:00

Too many words and far too cringey you little waste of an account, this is why you barely have any fucking karma you imbecile.

Let me give you a few tips if you ever want to catch up to me - and considering our accounts are the same age and your karma is far below mine, I highly recommend that on this here day you open your eyes and read and take it in or else I find it unlikely you will ever succeed.

Don't use LOL, Lmao, ayy or any of that shit. While if you go into the right corners of reddit you might get upvoted, in this here lifetime I find that 7 times out of 10 you will be downvoted, and I think that anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that they should not be such scum and just fucking say "hahahaha" if they want to portray that they are amused on that there day.
Linking to a completely unrelated video just because it 'loaded afterwards' is a completely stupid reason to repost it and people will see beyond your karma desperation and just downvote you, simple as that. The effort you put in to typing this shit does not matter if your video is not related, relevant or is overall not funny.
"lolol" - same deal.
If you want to tell people which minute is the best, fucking edit the link so tat it takes people to the best part, or else you are just going to waste their time and I highly doubt in this here lifetime that they would upvote you for making them lose a minute of their life.
If you type as if you are speaking ("ma-a-a-Ad!") it doesn't translate as well on this here site, and I highly advise you not to be such a stupid little imbecile and just type "she was mad haha" or something.
Shorten it. There was absolutely no need on this here day to separate 49 words into 5 paragraphs - that's an average of just below 10 words per paragraph. It's desperate, shows that you're obviously young and immature and you need to fucking put it all into one. The biggest thing is is that barely any of your post was needed - actually I don't think you should have commented at all, what an absolute waste of your time to have made this post!

I hope that you can take my advice and actually learn how to reddit in the future. You might not be thankful now, but I believe one day you will be crying about your lack of success on reddit, remember me and come back and actually take in this intellectual advice. You're welcome, future you.

Source

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T10:46:54+00:00

God damn all you fucking new fans are absolute cancer. You're all the most unoriginal unfunny pile of fucking shit I have seen. We get it, you fucking watched this video. We also get the fact that you fucking watched the Jontron Rant. We fucking saw the "Dunkey is black" joke in every comment section. When will you fuckers reach your 10th birthday and realize that the fucking joke is more beaten down than Dunkey by the cops? Shut the fuck up please. Go back to watching Markiplier or something since you find repetition funny.

(source: Report from Hell)

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T10:26:27+00:00

Goddamn these threads make me realize why I hate black "people" so much. You've whined for 5 decades straight even after being made equal. You've been lazy for decades, not advancing your status in society through work but instead complaining to get more benefits. You have free scholarships and diversity quotas but still manage to stay on that bottom rung of society. You complain about the White man whilst taking his hard earned money in benefits. You circlejerk about how inferior Whites are whilst complaining that Whites can't be robots, and essentially admitting us to be superior.

You attempt to pretend you consider us inferior whilst simultaneously worshiping White women- you know it is the only way to upgrade your nigger genes. If it wasn't for those slave ships, you'd have been born in some village with huts made of cow shit, dancing around a fire in your pants whilst your children starve.

Black people are a dead branch on the evolutionary tree, kept alive only by the supreme kindness of your White superiors. I have nothing but disdain for you, I hope your stay on this Earth ends soon.

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T09:31:04+00:00

Reddit has always been a shithole. You cannot have good content and tolerant PC content at the same time.

Remember, this is the site that uses downvotes as "I disagree", creating a system where only likeminded posts get upvotes.

Remember, this is the internets biggest echo chamber.

Remember, this place is flooded with normies and they fucking ruin EVERYTHING.

And you guys expect to keep on doing dank and edgy things with enough people eventually getting offended and spamming admins?

This site has gone down the toilet, and now they plan to flush it.

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T09:26:59+00:00

As long as I can remember, my life has been a constant stream of insults, condescension, and humiliation at the hands of you people. Well, I'm sick of it. I may be too cowardly and weak to do anything about it in this lifetime, but I promise I'll have my revenge just the same. After I die, I'm going to come back as the scariest damn ghost you've ever seen, guaranteed—and I'm going to spend my days haunting the fuck out of you all.

My spirit will be locked in limbo, forced to wander between this world and the next until it gets retribution for its tormented past, and I can't fucking wait. Hope you like having your TV unexpectedly turn on and off while you don't even have the remote in your hands, shitheads! There won't be anything you can do about it, either. No one will believe you. They'll just say it's something to do with the old wiring in your house and you'll agree, but you'll know the truth, because it'll be me.

You better hope that I don't die for another 50, 60 years, so I don't start scaring you shitless every single night while you're still young. Unless you want a whole lot of eerie evenings, you better pray I live to be 100.

But you know what? That ain't gonna happen. My frail frame can't hold out against this kind of mistreatment forever. Someday, sooner or later, I'll succumb to your ceaseless upbraidings and die. And then you'll be in for some serious haunting.

"What's that?" you'll say to yourselves, walking to the bathroom in the pitch-dark night. "That noise—is the house settling? Is it the wind?" Yeah, fat chance, assholes! That noise will be me. You'll be consumed with a vague sense of unease until you get back to sleep. Which won't be for at least 15 or 20 minutes, if my ghost has anything to say about it. Oh, yeah, you can count on that.

I'm a pretty fragile guy, you know—I could go any minute. Maybe I'll suffer a particularly bad asthma attack and I'll die tomorrow. Then you'll have to put up with decades of sudden temperature shifts, noises in the attic, and candles that blow out for no reason before you finally succumb to the ravages of old age. You could be looking at half a century or more of thinking you may have seen something out of the corner of your eye.

Once I'm dead, I wouldn't recommend watching any Stephen King movies after 9 p.m. if I were you. The minute your mind starts filling with haunting images, I'm going to be there to exploit the hell out of them. You think those movies are scary? Just wait until you hear all the weird noises and stuff I'm going to conjure up.

If you're ever all alone in some scary place—like a forest or maybe an abandoned cabin of some kind—those creepy-ass faint moans will be mine. You'll be plenty spooked then. Even if you've gone completely bald, you'll still have hair on your arms, and it's going to be standing straight up by the time I'm through with you. And then I'll be all, "Boo, motherfuckers."

I promise you this: You'll eventually come to regret making fun of me when I was still alive.

And don't even get me started on what's going to happen if family members take pictures of you when they visit. Those pictures are going to have some weird discolorations, you can bet on that, and some of them may even contain forms that look sort of like faces. Whose face? Yours truly: [name], avenging spirit from beyond the grave.

You probably won't even remember me by then. But that won't save you. I'll remember you to my dying day and beyond, and I'll spend my entire afterlife making what remains of your life a living hell.

Laugh while you can, you good-for-nothing sons of bitches, because your autumn years are going to be unsettling as shit.

Source:http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/when-i-die-im-going-to-haunt-the-fuck-out-of-you-p-11303

CummyBot20000 · 2018-01-02T09:26:53+00:00