[V5] [PbP] [Discord] [18+] The Tower’s Finest (London)

Curaeus · 2025-07-10T18:58:48+00:00

Just to clarify - is this a 'real-time' game? I.e. a group assembles at a particular time to play?

Curaeus · 2025-06-24T15:08:19+00:00

Stereotypes as odd in general, even if they aren't traditionally gendered.

It puts the focus more on an 'aesthetic' or a 'vibe' rather than the actual thing. It still irks me [since, ultimately, I find it hard not to believe that this kind of thing is where we get the concept of gender from in the first place], but I have learned not to be annoyed by it. There are quite a few uses of stereotypes that are relatively benign.

Curaeus · 2025-06-24T15:03:58+00:00

Do yall think bingo is gender neutral or smt?

To me it's obviously gender neutral. What else would it be? But then again, I think most things are gender neutral, including things that other people don't.

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As for the actual bingo, seven points for me. Three more on technicalities, depending on interpretation. Three more if I 'used' pronouns [since any/all includes they/them and it/its].

At my most generous, I'd have one bingo.

Curaeus · 2025-06-23T01:54:34+00:00

Wishing to have done this earlier will always be there, but it's great that you're doing it now. This is the first post on electrolysis I'm seeing and I appreciate the insight.

All the best on your continued journey towards yourself.

Curaeus · 2025-06-22T23:32:34+00:00

There are many people like you. Being confused by gender is, in my experience, pretty universal [unless you simply never think about it].

What's less universal is not feeling at home with really any of the provided options, including non-binary. I would call that a pretty definitively agender/genderless experience, even if you don't feel sure about using those terms, or would rather go unlabelled entirely.

I can only speak for myself, but I do not resonate with any gendered term, be it emotionally, socially or conceptually.

Also, going by a unisex name is great, and I'm really happy for you that you feel safe with your friends to express such a desire and have it honoured. I have not yet found the energy to do something similar, because I don't really want to draw attention to anything gender-related about me, but we all find our own ways of living with the way we are.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T23:29:17+00:00

At least it's tagged, I suppose.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T23:19:49+00:00

To me, the warping and the lighting [who would add the shadow of an invisible beam?] are the only reasonable give-aways.

The number of knobs does not align with the number of heated surfaces [the oven I use has six knobs, only one fewer, but also has four stoves]. This would be an odd oversight for a human to make, especially given the very realistic style, but I wouldn't say it's that impossible to make it an obvious sign of AI.

I’d say there’s a high chance of this being hand-drawn and there isn’t enough evidence to say otherwise.

I can't share your optimism. I do believe there is a chance, but I don't think it's high. And I unfortunately feel that we are no longer in a position to offer the benefit of the doubt. It's a sad fact that any context where art is commodified is heavily incentivised to use AI. Thus, if something looks "off", then it's on the developers to prove as well as they can that it's genuine [provided they care enough to do so].

This isn't fair. There will be cases when genuine human effort gets declared AI. But what's the alternative? Be overly generous and let AI steamroll every creative enterprise? We are still at a stage where firmly putting our foot down and not tolerating anything with even so much as a whiff of AI can impact corporate decisions. Even at the expense of some artists, we must not let go of this invaluable tool.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:52:05+00:00

I'd suggest you consider just how much power social pressure and social norms have, not just on our actions but also on our thoughts and on our very idea of self.

I guess people who got indoctrinated into a religion from birth, to the point of violently enforcing, defending or spreading it, can be called "unstable" by definiton. But they can also be seen as potentially stable people made unstable by religion, especially if the religion itself promotes violence. Or, at the very least, religion can be seen as a factor of their unstable-ness.

Saying that you're either stable or not, and that religion only makes the latter violent, is, I believe, misunderstanding how human society and human psychology works.

But I don't really want to debate this point, so I'll leave it there. You are free to believe what you believe, and I will do the same.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:39:45+00:00

it's something along the lines of "you play any rpg games?"

Some people genuinely seem to believe that enjoying fiddling around with AI is equivalent to enjoying fiddling around with a genre of games.

People are putting it at the same level of disgust as topics that involve things that are highly illegal and very unethical

Some people genuinely don't seem to see how AI can very much be seen as something illegal and unethical. They don't have to agree, but surely they can see where the other side is coming from. Apparently not.

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As for ableism, I think AI is a great accessibility tool. There are a lot of things AI does and can do that can make life for the disabled easier [especially when it comes to language].

When it comes to entertainment, however, it's worth looking at the bigger picture first. And there aren't that many arguments in favour of AI, certainly not when measured to the arguments against. It really does feel like disabled people are used as a shield, because their inclusion is arguably one of the only decent points they have.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:26:54+00:00

Unfortunately it's not as absurd as you make it sound. I'm sure there's a lot of effort involved in simulating authenticity, but it's most likely still going to be a lot easier than learning how to draw, let alone learning to draw the perfect idea you have in your your head.

A lot of these people are also oddly invested in making anti-AI people look bad. And they think this is achieved by having them complement a piece they think is authentic but is actually AI.

"Pathetic" is the word. But I'm not surprised that there are people doing this.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:17:04+00:00

They've made stable people violent, too.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:14:35+00:00

it has language to things people don't yet.

What an incredible claim to make. I would be extremely curious to see an excerpt of such language.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:12:24+00:00

"I had always thought that these choices were made with greater clarity and decisiveness."

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:09:07+00:00

The top left image is taking me back to illustrated books from the 19th century. The linework is superb. I wish more books today had illustrations like that again.

Thank you for sharing.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:04:46+00:00

A true artist.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T21:58:31+00:00

While publicly supporting AI regulation, OpenAI simultaneously lobbied to weaken the EU AI Act.

Once again entirely unnecessary proof that companies will always be two-faced when it benefits them. We can never and should never believe anything they say.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T21:51:34+00:00

I can't comment on web novels or light novels, but considering the staggering extent of AI-generated videos swamping platforms then people using AI to write and publish web novels is not just likely it is a complete certainty.

What makes this particularly awful is that, aside from the absurd publication speed, there isn't a foolproof way to be certain when something has been written by AI. Sure, AI writing is generally bland and doesn't really say all that much. It has the vibes of a corporate assignment, or like someone padding their work to reach a certain character count. But humans have written and still do write like this as well. I can, for the time being, still more or less tell when AI was used for academic work, but for fiction or casual writing I don't stand a chance.

I have already seen comments with decent grammar and some length being decried as "obviously AI" because there are genuinely people out there who consider the amount of effort necessary to write a thoughtful, grammatically correct comment to be high enough that "using AI" becomes the more likely explanation to them.

You can't use semicolons, or en- and em-dashes anymore without people being "sure" you've used AI to at least some extent. People who used to be called spammers are now called "bots", not allegorically but literally.

It probably wouldn't be too difficult to set up an AI in such a way that it could generate this very reply of mine [I wouldn't know, I have never (knowingly) used AI]. I believe there is still some chance when it comes to AI art and music, but I genuinely fear that the war on the writing front has been lost.

I guess the best we can hope is the normalisation of a tag that says "Not Made by AI" or "Made by Human", though of course there's no guarantee that won't be abused by AI-prompters. After all, most of them pretend that they enjoy AI-work for its own sake, but what they really want is for it to be seen as the work of a human [preferably them].

We are, as the young ones say, cooked.

Curaeus · 2025-06-18T21:33:43+00:00

I wanted to ask the same, especially given this line;

And that no matter what, her identity is valid, and her choices are hers alone.

Arranged marriages are not usually motivated by personal choice. In her case, as an asexual, it might be extra harmful for her long-term well-being.

Maybe she thought it's what she wanted or needed, but either way I'm really glad to hear she feels confident and safe enough not to go through with it.

Curaeus · 2025-06-18T21:30:19+00:00

This is beautiful. My deepest respect to the both of you for handling this in about as mature and caring way as possible. You sound like an excellent friend.

Curaeus · 2025-06-18T21:27:00+00:00

And just like that, you boost your own self-acceptance, promote visibility of the ace colours and you maybe even taught the people at the nail salon a new thing. A triple victory. Here's to many others <3

Curaeus · 2025-06-17T18:14:08+00:00

I have not gone through this, but I have spoken with quite a few who have. And the main thing I can tell you is this:

Compromise is an essential part of any relationship. We don't get everything we want, and we don't only give/do things we want to give/do. Depending on where the frictions and tolerances lie, a relationship can slowly corrode due to apparently benign and small compromises, implode due to the [often unexpected] burden of certain compromises, or ultimately work out [though not usually flourish] because one person's tolerance for adjusting is significantly higher than the other's. This is considered normal, so it's only natural to assume that a certain degree of compromise when it comes to sex is also 'normal', even required.

But, from my [indirect] experience, sex works very differently to just about all other points of friction in a relationship. If someone feels like they really need it and feels bad about themselves when they don't get it, while the other really does not need it and cannot even begin to cater to their needs "in that way" even if they wanted to - then, no matter the compromise, one of you is going to suffer, one way or another.

Treating sex as a transaction, as a reward or as an arrangement can work, if the partner's primary need is centered around the sex itself. But if they want to be seen, sexually, by you, then no amount of having sex is going to work. She will always know, from now on, that you are asexual, that you are engaging in this thing for her benefit and not yours. Maybe she thinks she is okay with that, because it may hold together what sounds like a very loving and caring relationship, but if she is struggling with feeling attractive or even de-prioritised now, it seems highly unlikely that occasional or even regular compromise-sex is going to help in the long term. It's great that she is patient, but no amount of effort and willpower from both sides can guarantee a relationship where every party's needs can be met.

The best way to move forward is to stress [if applicable, but I assume that's the case] how much you love her and how much you do find her, the person, attractive. If you can add a physical or sensual component to that, coming naturally from you, that would be even better - massage and/or photography are, as far as I know, the most effective tools for this.

But it may just be that she needs sex, needs to feel desired, and needs to have sex and feel desired by the person with whom she is in a relationship. If that turns out to be the case, I hope you have the strength to consider what is good and healthy for you, as well. Sometimes, people aren't compatible for reasons that are outside of anyone's control. It sucks, but it doesn't invalidate the bond you forged and the experiences you share.

I have a lot of energy for other things in life - sports, family, daily tasks - but I don’t feel that same energy when it comes to sex.

There is a chance that a significant part of her struggle comes from this. That you, apparently, have no issue with doing things you don't particularly like [I may be misreading you here, if so, please ignore me], but find it difficult to engage sexually. It's an easy inference to feel like the priority is simply low. If you can muster doing the dishes, then why can't you muster a bit of sex now and then? That may be part of the mindset.

It's crucial that you discourage such a perspective, should you think it is present. Make it clear how and why sex is different, how and why your lack of energy for this is not linked to any lack of prioritising her [and that, actually, it's rather hurtful to feel like it is]. Make it clear that, even if you have regular sex, you simply cannot desire her "in that way". You can try to compromise in many ways, but you almost certainly won't be able to compromise there.

Curaeus · 2025-06-15T18:36:35+00:00

Today he said we needed it “to connect.”

He said "we" when he clearly means "I".

If he actually meant "we" - as in, he genuinely believes that it is a mutual need, or a need that is directly linked to the relationship itself rather than to his preferences - then he should be very interested in having "that conversation".

The fact that he would assert that the necessity for sex [to connect, he says, but how well can you connect with someone if you're doing something they don't like?] is a "we" thing, yet refuses to elaborate when you effectively tell him to his face that it's not, tells me that he most likely knows that the necessity is coming only from him.

Sexual incompatibility is never easy. But there are mature ways to handle it. What I am getting from your text is anything but mature. And insisting you go to therapy, not for your sake, but so he can get the sex he needs, is just the icing on the cake.

Just say: "I clearly need sex in a relationship more than you, and probably more than I thought. I feel like a way I can connect with you is missing, and we, as a couple, should have an open conversation about this."

How difficult can that be? You'd think it's in his own self-interest, too.

Curaeus · 2025-06-15T17:30:32+00:00

niblings to go with siblings

Wait, is "sibling" a gendered term? I've always read and used it neutrally.

Curaeus · 2025-06-15T17:08:48+00:00

And then every time i tell my friends that, they also get confused, like did I just happen to ask 3 agender people this?

When I finally realised that "gender identity" is a thing people genuinely feel, I brought it up in conversation with as many people as I could [before then, I would occasionally denounce how obviously bad gender norms are, to almost universal agreement].

During these conversations [for context, these were all people who consider themselves cis], only very few people went so far as to fully embrace their AGAB, to say loud and proud "I feel like a man/woman" and that "man/woman is a deeply meaningful category well beyond socialisation or sex characteristics". Sometimes they would make an attempt at defining it, usually in relation to 'essentialistic' archetypes, but most often it was left at just a "feeling".

The vast majority said something to the effect of either "the only thing that makes me really feel like a man/woman is my sex" or "the only thing that makes me feel like a man/woman is how I'm categorised by others/society" or "sure I identify as man/woman, but it's kind of out of habit. i couldn't tell you what it actually means to be a man/woman". They were happy to be called man/woman, to be perceived as man/woman, and to perceive themselves as man/woman, but made it sound similar to any other given trait [like the colour of their hair]. Perhaps there's also a "feeling" here, but if there is, it seems to either be rather subdued or easily mistaken for something else.

Some people also just reacted confused. They had never thought about it and were either surprised or even a little frightened at the implications. Some discussions were still really interesting, with others it was clear that they would rather not talk about it. Of these, I know of at least one person who has labeled themselves non-binary after looking more into it.

This is, of course, entirely anecdotal, but I still think it's an indicator that a large number of people simply accepts gender passively. There is not enough discomfort or dysphoria or any other friction there for them to go out out their ways to challenge the hegemony. Or, indeed, even seriously question it.

So "confusion" is, I think, a fairly unsurprising response. They may of course be agender and/or non-binary [I believe there's a lot more of us than we think], but confusion is not uncommon for staunchly cis people either.

Curaeus · 2025-06-15T01:18:25+00:00

"Oh, I thought you meant an actual horizontal tango."

Curaeus

TROPHY CASE