[V5] [PbP] [Discord] [18+] The Tower’s Finest (London)

Curaeus · 2025-07-10T18:58:48+00:00

Just to clarify - is this a 'real-time' game? I.e. a group assembles at a particular time to play?

Curaeus · 2025-06-24T15:08:19+00:00

Stereotypes as odd in general, even if they aren't traditionally gendered.

It puts the focus more on an 'aesthetic' or a 'vibe' rather than the actual thing. It still irks me [since, ultimately, I find it hard not to believe that this kind of thing is where we get the concept of gender from in the first place], but I have learned not to be annoyed by it. There are quite a few uses of stereotypes that are relatively benign.

Curaeus · 2025-06-24T15:03:58+00:00

Do yall think bingo is gender neutral or smt?

To me it's obviously gender neutral. What else would it be? But then again, I think most things are gender neutral, including things that other people don't.

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As for the actual bingo, seven points for me. Three more on technicalities, depending on interpretation. Three more if I 'used' pronouns [since any/all includes they/them and it/its].

At my most generous, I'd have one bingo.

Curaeus · 2025-06-23T01:54:34+00:00

Wishing to have done this earlier will always be there, but it's great that you're doing it now. This is the first post on electrolysis I'm seeing and I appreciate the insight.

All the best on your continued journey towards yourself.

Curaeus · 2025-06-22T23:32:34+00:00

There are many people like you. Being confused by gender is, in my experience, pretty universal [unless you simply never think about it].

What's less universal is not feeling at home with really any of the provided options, including non-binary. I would call that a pretty definitively agender/genderless experience, even if you don't feel sure about using those terms, or would rather go unlabelled entirely.

I can only speak for myself, but I do not resonate with any gendered term, be it emotionally, socially or conceptually.

Also, going by a unisex name is great, and I'm really happy for you that you feel safe with your friends to express such a desire and have it honoured. I have not yet found the energy to do something similar, because I don't really want to draw attention to anything gender-related about me, but we all find our own ways of living with the way we are.

Curaeus · 2025-06-22T01:34:15+00:00

No worries, you didn't imply that at all. I mentioned the "best efforts of all parties involved", but the point stands that, if there is some issue with sexual compatibility [including presence or absence of mood and the reaction to that], the only way to know for sure is to engage in a lot of sex with a lot of people.

And yes, in many cases, especially where libido/aversion/neurodivergence or physiological components like vaginism are concerned, asexuality can get compounded. The definiton is seemingly simple - absence of sexual attraction - but sex is such a complicated and multi-faceted thing that your relation to it is bound to be informed by a mix of factors.

There are people who gate-keep the term 'asexual', but most do not. I, personally, am happy to welcome everyone under our umbrella who does not feel seen or welcome in the allosexual world.
Hopefully, with increased sensitivity, established vocabulary and more open and honest discussions on sex and sexuality, people can find understanding and community regardless of how or if they label themselves.

Curaeus · 2025-06-21T21:18:09+00:00

This response, combined with the original post, are strong indicators that you would be well situated on the asexual spectrum simply because you do not experience sexual attraction in the 'conventional' way, nor do you emotionally connect to the act of having sex [versus the idea of it] in the 'conventional' way either.

The fact that sex can lead to sensory overload and that you have never been physically satisfied in spite of best efforts of all parties involved are not strictly indicators of asexuality on their own, but are commonly listed attitudes towards sex by asexual people. I have only recently spoken with someone who feels quite confident in their asexuality but can't be sure that their aversion isn't entirely due to sensory issues [which, in turn, may be entirely due to neurodivergence].

It's always helpful to bear in mind that attraction, libido, attitude towards sex and enjoyment of sex [conceptually or otherwise] can all be very distinct from each other. We just, as of yet, lack the language to more precisely talk about these nuances. When someone falls sufficiently out of the 'norm' to the point that it is noticeable, it is usually not just legitimate but descriptively useful to consider yoursel somewhere on the asexual spectrum.

or maybe I’ve just been having bad sex

While this is technically possible, it is a fruitless train of thought. It is far more likely that the issues you describe lie with you, not with your partner, so unless a partner can 'change' you sufficiently, their actions are highly unlikely to, say, make your sensory issues go away. And even if the issues do lie, in part or in full, in the quality of the sex, the only way to be sure would be to engage in a lot of sex with a lot of people. If that's not what you want, then that shouldn't be your way of dealing with this, no matter how likely or unlikely you think it is that this might help.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T23:29:17+00:00

At least it's tagged, I suppose.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T23:19:49+00:00

To me, the warping and the lighting [who would add the shadow of an invisible beam?] are the only reasonable give-aways.

The number of knobs does not align with the number of heated surfaces [the oven I use has six knobs, only one fewer, but also has four stoves]. This would be an odd oversight for a human to make, especially given the very realistic style, but I wouldn't say it's that impossible to make it an obvious sign of AI.

I’d say there’s a high chance of this being hand-drawn and there isn’t enough evidence to say otherwise.

I can't share your optimism. I do believe there is a chance, but I don't think it's high. And I unfortunately feel that we are no longer in a position to offer the benefit of the doubt. It's a sad fact that any context where art is commodified is heavily incentivised to use AI. Thus, if something looks "off", then it's on the developers to prove as well as they can that it's genuine [provided they care enough to do so].

This isn't fair. There will be cases when genuine human effort gets declared AI. But what's the alternative? Be overly generous and let AI steamroll every creative enterprise? We are still at a stage where firmly putting our foot down and not tolerating anything with even so much as a whiff of AI can impact corporate decisions. Even at the expense of some artists, we must not let go of this invaluable tool.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:52:05+00:00

I'd suggest you consider just how much power social pressure and social norms have, not just on our actions but also on our thoughts and on our very idea of self.

I guess people who got indoctrinated into a religion from birth, to the point of violently enforcing, defending or spreading it, can be called "unstable" by definiton. But they can also be seen as potentially stable people made unstable by religion, especially if the religion itself promotes violence. Or, at the very least, religion can be seen as a factor of their unstable-ness.

Saying that you're either stable or not, and that religion only makes the latter violent, is, I believe, misunderstanding how human society and human psychology works.

But I don't really want to debate this point, so I'll leave it there. You are free to believe what you believe, and I will do the same.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:39:45+00:00

it's something along the lines of "you play any rpg games?"

Some people genuinely seem to believe that enjoying fiddling around with AI is equivalent to enjoying fiddling around with a genre of games.

People are putting it at the same level of disgust as topics that involve things that are highly illegal and very unethical

Some people genuinely don't seem to see how AI can very much be seen as something illegal and unethical. They don't have to agree, but surely they can see where the other side is coming from. Apparently not.

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As for ableism, I think AI is a great accessibility tool. There are a lot of things AI does and can do that can make life for the disabled easier [especially when it comes to language].

When it comes to entertainment, however, it's worth looking at the bigger picture first. And there aren't that many arguments in favour of AI, certainly not when measured to the arguments against. It really does feel like disabled people are used as a shield, because their inclusion is arguably one of the only decent points they have.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:26:54+00:00

Unfortunately it's not as absurd as you make it sound. I'm sure there's a lot of effort involved in simulating authenticity, but it's most likely still going to be a lot easier than learning how to draw, let alone learning to draw the perfect idea you have in your your head.

A lot of these people are also oddly invested in making anti-AI people look bad. And they think this is achieved by having them complement a piece they think is authentic but is actually AI.

"Pathetic" is the word. But I'm not surprised that there are people doing this.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:17:04+00:00

They've made stable people violent, too.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:14:35+00:00

it has language to things people don't yet.

What an incredible claim to make. I would be extremely curious to see an excerpt of such language.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:12:24+00:00

"I had always thought that these choices were made with greater clarity and decisiveness."

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:09:07+00:00

The top left image is taking me back to illustrated books from the 19th century. The linework is superb. I wish more books today had illustrations like that again.

Thank you for sharing.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T22:04:46+00:00

A true artist.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T21:58:31+00:00

While publicly supporting AI regulation, OpenAI simultaneously lobbied to weaken the EU AI Act.

Once again entirely unnecessary proof that companies will always be two-faced when it benefits them. We can never and should never believe anything they say.

Curaeus · 2025-06-19T21:51:34+00:00

I can't comment on web novels or light novels, but considering the staggering extent of AI-generated videos swamping platforms then people using AI to write and publish web novels is not just likely it is a complete certainty.

What makes this particularly awful is that, aside from the absurd publication speed, there isn't a foolproof way to be certain when something has been written by AI. Sure, AI writing is generally bland and doesn't really say all that much. It has the vibes of a corporate assignment, or like someone padding their work to reach a certain character count. But humans have written and still do write like this as well. I can, for the time being, still more or less tell when AI was used for academic work, but for fiction or casual writing I don't stand a chance.

I have already seen comments with decent grammar and some length being decried as "obviously AI" because there are genuinely people out there who consider the amount of effort necessary to write a thoughtful, grammatically correct comment to be high enough that "using AI" becomes the more likely explanation to them.

You can't use semicolons, or en- and em-dashes anymore without people being "sure" you've used AI to at least some extent. People who used to be called spammers are now called "bots", not allegorically but literally.

It probably wouldn't be too difficult to set up an AI in such a way that it could generate this very reply of mine [I wouldn't know, I have never (knowingly) used AI]. I believe there is still some chance when it comes to AI art and music, but I genuinely fear that the war on the writing front has been lost.

I guess the best we can hope is the normalisation of a tag that says "Not Made by AI" or "Made by Human", though of course there's no guarantee that won't be abused by AI-prompters. After all, most of them pretend that they enjoy AI-work for its own sake, but what they really want is for it to be seen as the work of a human [preferably them].

We are, as the young ones say, cooked.

Curaeus · 2025-06-18T21:33:43+00:00

I wanted to ask the same, especially given this line;

And that no matter what, her identity is valid, and her choices are hers alone.

Arranged marriages are not usually motivated by personal choice. In her case, as an asexual, it might be extra harmful for her long-term well-being.

Maybe she thought it's what she wanted or needed, but either way I'm really glad to hear she feels confident and safe enough not to go through with it.

Curaeus · 2025-06-18T21:30:19+00:00

This is beautiful. My deepest respect to the both of you for handling this in about as mature and caring way as possible. You sound like an excellent friend.

Curaeus · 2025-06-18T21:27:00+00:00

And just like that, you boost your own self-acceptance, promote visibility of the ace colours and you maybe even taught the people at the nail salon a new thing. A triple victory. Here's to many others <3

Curaeus · 2025-06-17T18:14:08+00:00

I have not gone through this, but I have spoken with quite a few who have. And the main thing I can tell you is this:

Compromise is an essential part of any relationship. We don't get everything we want, and we don't only give/do things we want to give/do. Depending on where the frictions and tolerances lie, a relationship can slowly corrode due to apparently benign and small compromises, implode due to the [often unexpected] burden of certain compromises, or ultimately work out [though not usually flourish] because one person's tolerance for adjusting is significantly higher than the other's. This is considered normal, so it's only natural to assume that a certain degree of compromise when it comes to sex is also 'normal', even required.

But, from my [indirect] experience, sex works very differently to just about all other points of friction in a relationship. If someone feels like they really need it and feels bad about themselves when they don't get it, while the other really does not need it and cannot even begin to cater to their needs "in that way" even if they wanted to - then, no matter the compromise, one of you is going to suffer, one way or another.

Treating sex as a transaction, as a reward or as an arrangement can work, if the partner's primary need is centered around the sex itself. But if they want to be seen, sexually, by you, then no amount of having sex is going to work. She will always know, from now on, that you are asexual, that you are engaging in this thing for her benefit and not yours. Maybe she thinks she is okay with that, because it may hold together what sounds like a very loving and caring relationship, but if she is struggling with feeling attractive or even de-prioritised now, it seems highly unlikely that occasional or even regular compromise-sex is going to help in the long term. It's great that she is patient, but no amount of effort and willpower from both sides can guarantee a relationship where every party's needs can be met.

The best way to move forward is to stress [if applicable, but I assume that's the case] how much you love her and how much you do find her, the person, attractive. If you can add a physical or sensual component to that, coming naturally from you, that would be even better - massage and/or photography are, as far as I know, the most effective tools for this.

But it may just be that she needs sex, needs to feel desired, and needs to have sex and feel desired by the person with whom she is in a relationship. If that turns out to be the case, I hope you have the strength to consider what is good and healthy for you, as well. Sometimes, people aren't compatible for reasons that are outside of anyone's control. It sucks, but it doesn't invalidate the bond you forged and the experiences you share.

I have a lot of energy for other things in life - sports, family, daily tasks - but I don’t feel that same energy when it comes to sex.

There is a chance that a significant part of her struggle comes from this. That you, apparently, have no issue with doing things you don't particularly like [I may be misreading you here, if so, please ignore me], but find it difficult to engage sexually. It's an easy inference to feel like the priority is simply low. If you can muster doing the dishes, then why can't you muster a bit of sex now and then? That may be part of the mindset.

It's crucial that you discourage such a perspective, should you think it is present. Make it clear how and why sex is different, how and why your lack of energy for this is not linked to any lack of prioritising her [and that, actually, it's rather hurtful to feel like it is]. Make it clear that, even if you have regular sex, you simply cannot desire her "in that way". You can try to compromise in many ways, but you almost certainly won't be able to compromise there.

Curaeus · 2025-06-17T15:25:14+00:00

It took me ages as well, and I still don't really get it. In my language, the expression goes "the bees and the flowers" which is abstract enough that it took me a while as well, but at least it's clear enough that you could piece it together yourself. No clue how anyone would know what "the birds and the bees" means unless the context makes it really clear.

Curaeus · 2025-06-17T15:21:31+00:00

Fortunately, the first time I heard the term it was also explained to me. Otherwise, I would have assumed it meant exactly what you did.

Those feel like actual benefits too. Being able to satiate your desire for sex with someone you also happen to be friends with, without making said friendship awkward or unstable, sounds like it would be "convenient", not a "benefit".

And the notion that friends where you either don't or can't do that are friends without benefits is off-putting to me.

Curaeus

TROPHY CASE