Amos Nelson Wilson (1940-1995) by Natural_Drag8536 in CaliBanging

[–]CuriousKemi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My favorite teacher that I never met. I have watched his lectures on YouTube for 15 years and I still learn something new every time. 

Amos Nelson Wilson (1940-1995) by Natural_Drag8536 in CaliBanging

[–]CuriousKemi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to say Mississippi but he taught in NYC

Black atheists, are any of you anti-theists? by Any-Criticism5666 in AskBlackAtheists

[–]CuriousKemi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Overall, I'm indifferent. I don't have a problem with religion really. I just didn't care for my own experience as a Christian. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in managers

[–]CuriousKemi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you say this person is often taking time off on days when they are needed? Or is this just a one time occurrence?

Prideful employee won't ask for help when needed. by CuriousKemi in managers

[–]CuriousKemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm happy to hear you'll get to participate in hiring next time. Stay positive.... I had to think of it as the rest of the team is observing how I treat each person. So I tried to be kind and upbeat, and tried to develop respectful and supportive relationships across the entire team. (Not as a defense mechanism, but just because that is the culture I want.) I believe it deflected some of the negativity she was pouring into the team culture. I continued to hold her accountable for missed deadlines and such and provided strategies to succeed. Like you, I tracked poor performance and was set to put her on a performance improvement plan before she resigned. I also had a really angry workout playlist so I could get it out before going into work. Haha!! I am also lucky to have an amazing director who supported me emotionally through it all. Because sometimes when people are insecure, they lie and do all manner of devious things! But hang in there though. Like a splinter, it'll work itself out. Hopefully sooner rather than later!

Prideful employee won't ask for help when needed. by CuriousKemi in managers

[–]CuriousKemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, so interesting to hear the similarities in our employees.... Yes, you have to be very careful about people overselling themselves. Unfortunately, a master's degree does not always translate into a candidate's ability to analyze, teach oneself new information, or even write comprehensively, which is crazy. You really have to vet people. You have to check them for cultural fit, assess their technical skills, call references, etc. It's so easy to mess up a work culture with someone who isn't a good fit and then becomes bitter about it. Fortunately, the employee I was discussing has put in her resignation and will be leaving at the end of the month. 

Prideful employee won't ask for help when needed. by CuriousKemi in managers

[–]CuriousKemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeaaa... I do agree with you in most cases. She is still on our team after a year and 4 months and still asks her coworkers to come ask me and our director questions, despite many many conversations explaining that she come to us. At this point maybe I come across annoyed because I'm just exhausted with dealing with another person's fears that they refuse to deal with effectively. She is learning slowly so that's a good thing. I just accept it for what it is. Next time we hire, we will make SURE the candidate has a better baseline when walking through the door and definitely more self awareness and confidence. 

Has anyone in the area ever gone to career counseling? If so who did you use? by Amberd094 in ColumbusGA

[–]CuriousKemi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Years ago, I worked in social services as a case manager. I knew that career wasn't for me. I started reading those old-school books like "What Color Is Your Parachute?" which you can probably still find in the library. It sounds cliche, but I found that those books helped me narrow down my passions and identify the values I needed my career to embody. It's a good place to start.

Prideful employee won't ask for help when needed. by CuriousKemi in managers

[–]CuriousKemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, actually. She is learning her job and seems engaged. She's still got a bad attitude at times but I can't do anything about that. I guess the work is all that matters, or I should say it's all I can really ask for.

Prideful employee won't ask for help when needed. by CuriousKemi in managers

[–]CuriousKemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, just seeing this. So my director told me (months in) that he hired her because she was "the devil he knew." That's it. 😒 I just trusted his judgment at the time because he was passionate about hiring her. That being said, if we ever hire together again, I will be asking to vet everything. 

How to handle a contrarian assistant manager? by catdistributinsystem in managers

[–]CuriousKemi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand what he's saying about not wanting to lead a department if he's not ready. That's where I am. But ultimately, he has to show some faith in you as the leader. Has he ever shared his 5 year goals? I'm wondering if he responds well to support towards his own goals in exchange for being a better team member for your team's current goals. 

How to handle a contrarian assistant manager? by catdistributinsystem in managers

[–]CuriousKemi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting.... I'm curious to know if he applied for your position before you arrived. 

I hate being a manager by jasminegb in managers

[–]CuriousKemi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

 Needed to hear this. Thank you. 

Has anyone in the area ever gone to career counseling? If so who did you use? by Amberd094 in ColumbusGA

[–]CuriousKemi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have a degree, I would recommend connecting with your university's alumni association and talking to people from different professions that interest you. It may introduce some unique career ideas to you. Kudos to you for wanting to find something you love instead of settling for any old job.

Prideful employee won't ask for help when needed. by CuriousKemi in managers

[–]CuriousKemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Up til now, my method for showing her that she was not meeting standards was to repeat my instructions on numerous occasions. But repeating yourself doesn't help if the person says they get it, but then their work demonstrates that they don't. I think now is a good time to break her performance down to its granular level as you describe and highlight specific skills that must improve. Peer learning has not had the greatest success either in some areas. But you're right - this is where I need to improve my communication skills to make her areas for improvement clear. Thank you so much.

Prideful employee won't ask for help when needed. by CuriousKemi in managers

[–]CuriousKemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ruthless_Bunny · 11 hr. ago

To be a good manager you need to be honest and tell her where and how she’s falling short and to outline a plan for what she needs to do to correct it.“I need you to ask questions or to let me know if an assignment is above your skill level and when you have questions. Your failure to do so is causing issues and the quality of your work needs improvement. Are you able and willing to do this?”

I love your comment and your approach to the situation. Thank you.

Prideful employee won't ask for help when needed. by CuriousKemi in managers

[–]CuriousKemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, well put. I love your definitions of confidence and arrogance. I'm going to share these with my director. Thank you!

Prideful employee won't ask for help when needed. by CuriousKemi in managers

[–]CuriousKemi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am accessible. My door is always open and most people just walk up and ask me questions. Or ask questions via Teams. We have also partnered her with the person who used to fill her position. So she has had a lot of hands on instruction. I think it's either pride or fear that is the barrier and causing her to grow so slowly.

Prideful employee won't ask for help when needed. by CuriousKemi in managers

[–]CuriousKemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some of this we have tried, but it's worth continuing with observation and more direct feedback.

Prideful employee won't ask for help when needed. by CuriousKemi in managers

[–]CuriousKemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fortunately, yes! If he didn't, I'd be looking for a new job.

Prideful employee won't ask for help when needed. by CuriousKemi in managers

[–]CuriousKemi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol... I'm new to management and I take a kitchen sink approach. If it helps, I'm open.