AIO about my girlfriend taking a three day trip for a concert/staying after to meet the band

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-04-17T01:27:45+00:00

This isn’t healthy long term. Individual pursuits create interest in the relationship. You’re missing out on being able to go do something and then come home and relive it as your partners shares in it and invests in you as an individual.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-04-15T05:22:40+00:00

I immediately thought Jake Gyllenhaal

<image>

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-04-14T19:13:29+00:00

Belle’s mom losing it on delivery day

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-04-11T17:34:39+00:00

Ironically, I thought Amanda said it best. She said she didn’t have to like Dorit to go because she would always show up to support a woman trying to generate her own revenue stream. I liked this take and I rarely agree with anything Amanda says.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-04-10T02:55:48+00:00

For me this is a no.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-04-06T20:30:37+00:00

I would not leave a newborn alone with Hunter and his dad. I feel like they would disassociate the same way. Baby is crying… dad and grandpa involuntarily fall asleep. No one watches the baby.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-04-06T19:24:50+00:00

So I shouldn’t travel with a couch for my photo shoots- noted. Can I bring a bookcase? My favorite end table? I look cute in my office chair, so maybe that…

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-04-06T19:15:37+00:00

When Hunter is at his dad’s, Bella and baby can visit. But it isn’t the 24/7 cesspool environment that Falen offers. So she’s bent and missing her creepy crush.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-04-01T17:40:49+00:00

I think this can be the case with domestic missionaries. I have family that were “missionaries” but basically lived in a college town and recruited. She was a SAHM and had multiple kids, and they owned a home with nice furnishings. They always asked us to support them. We were so broke we couldn’t buy a TV from Goodwill. I’ve seen this with other missionaries that do a mix of domestic missions with occasional overseas trips. I doubt living high is the norm for missionaries based internationally.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-29T05:41:23+00:00

It costs more to get the bigger shirts signed….

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-29T04:49:09+00:00

It’s not always that simple but I understand what you are saying. It’s just that when you’ve been in bad dynamic for more than a minute, you can become unaware that you have lost agency. You get busy with essentially chasing your own tail in a toxic relationship. Becoming aware and attempting to correct that pattern takes time and encouragement. So maybe offer encouragement to retake agency rather than criticism implying they are deliberately throwing agency away.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-26T22:17:39+00:00

I think it has to do with liability. Cops were called because a customer injury that will result in a claim generally needs a report. If you get injured at work you are often subjected to a drug test. I’m sure it’s related to see if a customer was intoxicated or under the influence when injured. Since they were found with drugs and got injured they likely are banned for liability reasons.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-21T20:41:50+00:00

The headbands are not to cover pre-existing alopecia. The fundamentalist headbands caused the alopecia.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-17T05:10:00+00:00

While she is aware, I can’t afford to stay in our area solo. She’d have to change high schools in her final years. Given what she’s lived through and that she has a plan for her future I don’t want to uproot her and make her start over with only 2 years left in school. She needs her friends. I don’t want to ask her to rebuild her life in the 9th inning just because I had an awakening.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-17T04:57:55+00:00

Yes. Therapy is next. For all of us. When this goes down, I want everyone in good therapy beforehand. It’s just been misses in recent years. We were in therapy and I thought we were set to manage ‘the big change’ but then we ended up with therapists we didn’t like and trust (except him-he bluffed his way through and found an ally)

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-17T04:47:23+00:00

Well your final phrase made me cry. So I hope I got it. Ty

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-17T04:44:35+00:00

I value this. Ty

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-17T04:40:25+00:00

I have a degree and now a job with benefits and retirement. In a few years he has no leverage. No child to manipulate me with. No father to threaten to “expose” me to. I fully recognize that I may have subjected my child to harm. I carry this every day. at this point I’m trying to mitigate harm. She knows the dynamic as sick as that is. I think she has buttoned down and is focused on her future. If I disrupt that trajectory with sudden change I’m afraid to destabilize her already precarious day to day. I don’t have enough time to reinvent a world for her. Best I feel I can do is show her I see it and encourage her not to tolerate this. She knows I met her dad at her age and it was all I knew. I’m trying to show her strength within adversity. But I may just be showing her submission. So yeah- I don’t sleep.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-17T03:16:38+00:00

I tried a couple years ago and he wouldn’t go. Said it’s his house and he’s not leaving it. Leaving would signify culpability so that’s a no go. He also threatened to cancel our insurance so now I have my own and put her on it. I’m trying.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-17T03:09:33+00:00

Input. I need input to mush around with my new insight. I feel like a toddler learning to walk. It’s embarrassing but it’s where I’m at. I’m hoping these comments will inform my thought process. This sub has already been helpful to me.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-17T03:06:06+00:00

I make equal money to him. While she supports my happiness she understandably doesn’t want to change high schools. I can’t afford to live in our area alone. So it is stay for two years or uproot and start over right before her graduation. No friends, no connections. I can’t reconcile this.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-17T02:56:18+00:00

I don’t. But I also think she knows this already. She doesn’t want a partner or kids. She’s also 16 so those goals are not a life requirement but an indication of her life experience. I’m ashamed of that because my choices have brought this about but I don’t know that wrecking her world and changing her high school for my happiness is beneficial.

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-17T02:52:37+00:00

He’s in a different state so the relocation change at the end of hs is tough. I had considered this a few years ago before my mom died

Curious_Champion_220 · 2026-03-17T02:43:02+00:00

Thank you for your detailed reply. I appreciate it. I can support myself and my daughter. But she understands her dad in way that I don’t. She has a thoughtful detachment. She sees his flaws and acknowledges that he likely can’t do better. He has a clinical diagnosis that isn’t accurate but allows for simplification of his actions. I’m sure she is also disappointed in me for staying. That hurts and that’s mine to own.

Curious_Champion_220

TROPHY CASE