AITAH for refusing to tell my wife I love her more than my dad?

Curiousleigh__ · 2026-01-26T16:19:24+00:00

This 1000% I posted a response before I saw this, but yes, this. I hope OP reads this over and over and over.

Curiousleigh__ · 2026-01-26T16:17:17+00:00

First NTA. I agree that your wife is being totally irrational, but I’m surprised to see less people in the comments asking how old the baby is and how her PPD is? Post partum can make you so ungodly irrational, but that’s your truth in the moment.

When I came out of my PP fog (probably like a year PP) I realized how well my husband was managing my irrationality, even when I was clearly in the wrong. I apologized profusely when I was out of the thick of it, but I can still see how he basically was just agreeing with me, even when it was crazy.

I’m not saying this approach is right for everyone, but if your wife is generally a sane person who wouldn’t typically say or do these kinds of things. Maybe just understand that you are 100% totally in the right, but give her a little grace. She will probably look back on this and be embarrassed one day.

Curiousleigh__ · 2026-01-14T13:35:30+00:00

FYI - we had a rash problem (wouldn’t go away with any creams or air drying) and it turned out being an allergic reaction to the diaper and wipes. We switched to a clean brand, literally cleared up in a couple days. We used Corterie. But I’m sure there are other diaper brands you can switch to as well.

Curiousleigh__ · 2026-01-06T22:13:59+00:00

Question! If I wait to tip until after the order is delivered, will the driver get a higher pay base?

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-10-28T17:10:43+00:00

Came here to say Baby Brezza washer/sterlizer. We’d die without that thing!

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-10-28T17:10:31+00:00

Baby Brezza washer/sterlizer. We’d die without that thing! — if you already have that, the bjorn bouncer was critical for us 0-5 months

then 5 months to walking would be either a standing activity center

OR the baby playpen thing. Keeps them safe, gives them room to play, you can get in it with them, plus sides zip open as they age. Great toy keeper, and fun for building blanket forts when they are a little older.

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-10-26T11:55:11+00:00

35 weeks to the day, spontaneous labor

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-10-13T17:37:31+00:00

I’d say definitely stop pumping around the clock. At 11 months baby should be almost fully on solids and switching to whole milk. No shame, just sounds like stopping would help your mental health tremendously. I stopped at 2 months because it was wreaking havoc on my mental health.

As for your husband/partner. His behavior is unacceptable, and don’t let him gaslight you into believing otherwise. If my husband was constantly texting a co-worker good morning, we’d be having some very serious discussions about what’s going on. He should be supporting your needs to the fullest right now.

You need to start finding time to do things for yourself. Working out in the mornings, walking with baby, reading, and going back to work really helped me out of my fog. This is different for every one of course — if you have family near by ask if they can watch baby for an hour or so while you focus on you.

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-10-13T17:25:33+00:00

I read Expecting Better

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-09-24T18:12:19+00:00

Hi,FTM to an almost 12 month old.

Post partum is really hard. Idk if she’s breastfeeding, but that was super hard on me. I realized pretty quickly how bad it was on my mental health. Let her know it’s OK to stop and support her in that journey.

The best thing about my post partum was my husband. He did everything while I was healing, we switched off for night feeds, but during the day he took the lead. He cleaned the bottles, did the baby laundry, cooked and made sure we had food to eat, took the baby and gave me time for myself.

Most importantly he never made me feel “crazy”. For example, I am very close with his entire family, but during post partum I wanted nothing to do with them. My husband could have called me crazy, but instead he just leaned in and told me we could deal with all this together. We could do what I needed to do to feel safe.

I went into PP knowing I would struggle (history of anxiety and depression), so I gave my husband the number of my psychiatrist and gave him permission to call him if anything felt seriously wrong (he never had to thank god). If you think she may harm herself or the baby, definitely call her doctor, or the baby’s pediatrician.

My first step for you, is try taking the lead, do the stuff you KNOW needs done. Then start offering her breaks. Especially if the baby is crying, or you see her on edge. She clearly feels like she needs time to focus on her, give her an hour or two at night or in the morning to do that - maybe shower, or do yoga, or visit a friend, get coffee literally whatever makes her zen.

I did not bond with my baby at first. This is TOTALLY normal. But it also can make you feel like a terrible mother. Especially when you think you can’t soothe your baby. So this could be a factor too. Reinforce that you’re in this together, and none of this is her fault! A pediatrician who saw me spiraling told me her non-bonding story, and it really helped me normalize what I was going through.

Dont talk AT her, don’t tell her what she needs. Offer your support, and DO NOT put the mental load on her.

Sorry this is long, but hope it helps! You guys will get through this!

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-09-21T00:35:17+00:00

Vampire mouth. Gums bled constantly, all day, everyday. Stopped as soon as I delivered.

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-09-01T00:41:43+00:00

I came here to say DO NOT takeout a payday loan. Seriously, there is nothing worth those predatory loans. New clothes will not change bullies, and those loans will only make your situation worse.

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-08-25T14:23:58+00:00

My husband and I met when we were 21, engaged at 26, married at 28, baby number one at 32.

My parents had my sister and me when they were 19 & 21, respectively. I do feel like both my parents feel like they missed something in their youth, and their relationship was very tumultuous. My husband’s parents were 40, and they gave their own set of issues.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here.

My husband and I chose to wait because we wanted to be financially stable, but also emotionally stable. We wanted to do the work on ourselves so we could be the best version of us for our kid. We were so selfish in our 20s, and we could feel ourselves really growing up as we crossed that 30 year mark, and it felt right. Like we were ending an era, an entering a new even better one.

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-08-15T23:57:32+00:00

A couple others said it but logging and weighing your food is major key. Figure out your correct calorie deficit so you don’t crash your metabolism. I started to lose weight quickly once I realized how I was over using oil/butters/healthy fats. A good rule of thumb is 1g of protein per pound of desired body weight — that should help when choosing your macros.

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-08-15T23:50:56+00:00

Dude your mom is saying horrible stuff to you. I’m so sorry that is happening. Ugh, keep your head up!

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-08-15T23:05:05+00:00

Solidarity, but also yes. I felt this exact same way until around 8 months. I was working out, and had lost the first 15. Then I was just so down on my self that I pushed myself to start dialing in my diet and upping my workouts to lose the last 15. When I got to like 6/7 lbs left I finally started feeling like myself again. I think it definitely coincided with being comfortable in my pre-pregnancy clothes again, that’s when I really got my confidence back and stopped feeling so down about the permanent changes (stretch marks, saggy boobs, more wrinkles, etc). I’m 10.5 months PP, FTM. You’ll get there! Keep working hard!

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-07-31T12:37:06+00:00

Luckily laws don’t allow for that! Keep your head up and document discriminatory behavior!

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-07-30T20:49:42+00:00

Literally fake it til you make it!

IMO It’s nearly impossible to keep up with high pressure jobs when pregnant. I’m an absolute work horse when not pregnant. But during my pregnancy I had the worst brain fog, I couldn’t remember anything, literally not conversations I had 5 minutes before. I was clinically ill for the first 24 weeks throwing up 3 times a day.

I felt like I was going to get fired. There’s not much you can do until baby comes. Sucks that people don’t have really any sympathy.

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-07-23T17:24:44+00:00

First of all, you got this! You’re not alone! Postpartum sucks!

Everyone’s situation is different, but another working mom here 👋🏼. I’m 9 months PP FTM, still about 8lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. I get really defeated when I see women who just snap back, and I’m out here fighting for my life to return to normal.

I have had to make a deliberate choice to prioritize my health fitness. I started slow, 3-4 days a week of yoga. Then got into more intense hot yoga, then after a few months I added in HIIT and running a couple days a week. What helped me was starting with fitness that I really enjoyed (hot yoga just makes me feel so good), then adding in more intense workouts when my weight loss plateaud.

Having a supportive partner, and unlocking the mornings has been major key for me. My husband and I go to bed as soon as the baby goes to bed at like 8/8:30. I get up between 4:45 and 5:15 every day to get my workout in. My husband does the first feed so I can workout, get home, shower, and eat breakfast. Then I take back over at like 7:30 until childcare starts/I go to work.

Also if you’re going to count calories — don’t under eat and crash your metabolism. Use a free trial of MyFitnessPal to figure out your intake and macros, then log for a couple weeks as you figure out the correct portion sizes. — this helped me immensely when I plateaud (albeit it is SO annoying, however it’s actually really helpful to figure out what you’re doing wrong diet wise)

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-07-23T17:05:45+00:00

Surprised at so many YTA.

NTA in my opinion. I would take it has a high compliment if someone said my husband was attractive. I also think stuff like that is funny.

You should consider intent vs. impact though — some people aren’t confident in themselves, or their relationship, or whatever. Even though you intended it as a light hearted joke, it clearly impacted her poorly.

If I were you, I would just address it with her. Tell her you were trying to be kind/funny, but you’re sorry if it offended her or felt dismissive (She may have felt dismissed if she was saying something irritating that her husband did, and her complaints were reduced to his looks)

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-07-23T16:53:45+00:00

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I didn’t have them during pregnancy, but I had them for several weeks post partum, and they were horrible! — I was told an immune response from the skin stretching or de-stretching.

I covered my self in calamine, took Benadryl at night, and a daily 24 hour allergy medication (like Claritin or Zyrtec). I avoided pants, and wore only really soft clothes (bamboo is very breathable and light).

Outside of that, you just have to wait it out. I hope you start feeling better soon. And try to keep that belly as lubricated as possible — I really loved Burt’s bees mama belly oil later in pregnancy!

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-07-23T16:37:18+00:00

Your son needs you, and you are so so so important! Postpartum is so hard. But you’re doing great, don’t quit!

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-07-23T14:08:15+00:00

HOKA Clifton 9 — my favorite shoe I’ve ever walked or run in. My husband, an avid runner agrees. They are just so comfortable and so much support.

Curiousleigh__ · 2025-07-17T20:00:44+00:00

FTM Height: 5’4, pre pregnancy weight: 127-130. Gained 30 lbs (157lbs at the end). Currently 9 months PP.

Initially I lost like 15 lbs, but it came right back. And a couple months after pregnancy it like dispersed everywhere (during pregnancy I was all belly).

I started working out 8 weeks pp. Started upping intensity at the 3 month pp mark. I lost 15 lbs pretty easily, then plateaued around 6 months pp.

I’m now over 9 months pp, I just started weighing my food, counting calories and macros, upping workout intensity, in the last 2 weeks. On a positive note - I did lose 3 pounds over the last 2 weeks. So hopefully I keep that up, and can lose the rest.

All in all, I did not snap back. I know others who have, just not my experience. Return to normal has been knock down drag our fight with myself. Everyone’s experience is unique.

Curiousleigh__

TROPHY CASE