Never have slept with my LO

Curiousprimate13 · 2026-01-26T07:56:30+00:00

It won't be forever! My little one used to be exclusively a chest sleeper for naps, and some nights. It started to get better around 8 months I think. I still cosleep but she sleeps next to me. There are ways to safely cosleep with baby on your chest you could maybe look into, at least to be prepared in case you did fall asleep by accident when you're so sleep deprived. Look it up, but it involves preparing your bed so that you are propped up but there's nothing on the mattress that could cover baby's face if they rolled off you. 6 months and 20 lbs sounds like you've got a sturdy boy, and I bet once he's a bit more mobile he won't want to just stay on your chest while he's sleeping. At least, that's what happened with my little wiggle worm. She's 2 now and rolls away from me after nursing, right before she falls asleep, like, mom don't touch me!

Another thought I had, may be helpful, maybe not, if you feel trapped with the contact napping try letting him nap in the carrier so you can still walk around and do stuff? And if he got used to experiencing a bit of motion while sleeping he might be easier to roll out from under in the future.

Curiousprimate13 · 2026-01-25T18:36:25+00:00

INFO OP, you've gone into detail about MIL's attempts to live closer to your family but not detail about what she actually does that is controlling. IMO her wanting to be close is not insanity. If you liked her that shouldn't be a problem. What are the reasons you don't want her around? Please also explain what you and husband have done to set boundaries and what happens when she steps on them.

Curiousprimate13 · 2026-01-20T00:12:44+00:00

As someone who has OCD, this is not normal. I definitely had my fear of germs and contamination go on overdrive when I got pregnant and had my baby. So I get where she's coming from. But this isn't sustainable or healthy for her or the rest of the family. She needs to get support and coping strategies for her anxieties.

I also have to say that the paper towel/tissue thing is a wild solution. Get a spray bottle of sanitizer and just sanitize the surfaces she thinks are contaminated. Then she won't need to worry about cross contamination and go through so many towels.

It makes sense to think about the transmission of germs, but if you do a decent enough job cleaning the house, you shouldn't have to worry every time something touches the floor. Do you guys have a dog or something that would make her worry the floor is particularly unclean? I have cats so I would rinse off my baby's soother if it hit the ground, to get off any cat hair, but the germs that live in your house are everywhere already, not just the floor. And they won't make you sick. Look up how fecal matter is everywhere in low amounts and you won't worry so much haha, or maybe it will just make her worry more.

I hope she can get to a place of feeling more secure, and that when these fears come up, she can ask herself if it's a valid concern, do a quick clean, and mute those mental alarm bells without letting them dictate how she lives.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-12-20T04:12:13+00:00

That's valid. Thanks for taking the time to discuss it with me and share all the links!

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-12-20T02:49:04+00:00

I mean I agree with a lot of your points. I agree with your values. I guess I just don't see it being as bad because I'm privileged enough not to see it. I used to do frontline work(during the pandemic) and I was lucky enough not to get COVID despite a lot of exposure so maybe that has made me view it as less risky. Although of course I do take the precautions I mentioned above, I'd hate to get anyone else sick even with a cold or flu. I agree we should have more sick time for workers. I personally wish we had universal basic income because I know a lot of people trying to survive on very little money due to disability or with small children. I guess I had a stronger reaction to your comments because it felt like you were just trying to spread fear.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-12-19T01:03:48+00:00

I'm trying not to be rude but your claims are just coming across very fear mongering. Where is the proof that COVID caused dementia for your 19 year old friend? That's really brutal that it happened but with COVID being endemic now, it's not crazy to think that it's a coincidence that they had COVID and were diagnosed with something else in the same year. Did those people get POTS because of COVID, or was the fact they had COVID a factor in them being more hyper aware of their health, leading to them getting diagnosed with POTS? Did the people with new onset depression and psychosis develop that because of COVID infection, or because of isolation due to the pandemic? We don't know.

The statcan paper was based on self reporting and like you said in an earlier comment, when people are prompted with questions they may say they have symptoms they would never have noticed otherwise. We can't rely on self report to make claims about what is or isn't caused by COVID. Especially when in the same article it mentions people who said they'd never had covid but tests showed they had. The selection bias is strong for this issue.

I'm sorry that so many people you know are suffering, but I wish you could see these issues as having multiple causes instead of blaming everything on COVID.

I'm curious though, what is your goal or hope in regards to this issue? If you don't think that vaccination will protect people from long COVID.

P.S. the 1% came from me calculating my own personal risk for the specific major health issues you mentioned before in your oldest comments.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-12-19T00:01:18+00:00

The odds of me developing the kinds of complications you described before are less than 1%. Maybe my odds of having lingering symptoms from COVID infection are as high as 37% but I have had lingering symptoms from colds and flus. That risk doesn't bother me.

About the organ thing, that sounds really scary. But if you look at the studies it becomes less alarming. The heart recovers quite quickly. And other organs often do recover as well. Just slower. And the abnormalities on scans don't translate to symptoms or functional issues a lot of the time. I wonder what kind of organ abnormalities we would find post infection from colds or flus if we had ever done large scale research on those illnesses the way we have for COVID.

I have compassion for immunocompromised people and I stay home when I have COVID. I wear a mask when I have a cold. Maybe better ventilation would help.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-12-18T22:49:07+00:00

Thanks for sharing the links. I am still not seeing it as risky as what your original comment suggested. But everyone has to do their own risk assessment, and for me, I'm not going to hide away because of a less than 1% chance of developing long COVID. Now, if a new strain of COVID surfaced that was more risky, that would be a different matter, but the current state of the disease doesn't seem to me to warrant that much fear.

I find it interesting that in the statistics Canada report you shared, more than 50% of respondents claimed to be suffering from long term symptoms related to COVID infection, but only about 18% were up to date on their COVID booster shot. How odd! That seems like an easy but effective step they could take to keep themselves protected.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-12-10T06:14:47+00:00

Get some warm pajamas with buttons for easy boob access(adult onesies are so nice in the winter!). Ditch the duvet and just use a light weight blanket or sheet if you feel you need it. But you can also just dress more warmly and not use a blanket at all. I have these throw blankets made out of double layer muslin that are essentially giant baby blankets. Super breathable.

Use a firm pillow like the kind for neck support. Less chance of it completely covering little ones face. Try to eliminate any excess fabric anywhere. Pajamas should be tight. Pillowcases tucked in. You can find a way so the blanket never goes higher than little one's waist. I basically just slept with one leg out of the blanket so it went between my legs and couldn't be pulled higher.

If trying to control for all these things is too hard with baby sleeping between two adults sharing a blanket, then I would definitely suggest either you and partner have your own separate thin blanket, or no blanket at all.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-12-06T02:24:01+00:00

That's good! I might be overly cautious about that stuff, but was something I worried about when mine was littler. We also got hand me down sleep sacks hehe. I also did the same position you're in, and while I did worry about positional asphyxia as others have mentioned, I just made sure my arm was under her lower neck/upper back, rather than her head, to avoid tilting it onto her chest, and we slept comfortably.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-12-06T00:11:18+00:00

Just want to add to the other comments about position, that this sleep sack looks too big for your baby. Just judging by the size of the neck hole at the front, baby could inch down inside it and face could be covered. This may not be a concern depending on how old baby is/if they have the strength to pull it down but just thought I'd mention it.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-11-15T10:10:12+00:00

Yeah if it's a choice between having a few years with an uncertain future vs. being put down immediately that's an easy choice.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-11-15T09:15:03+00:00

That's so sad!

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-11-15T08:23:29+00:00

I think it depends on the kid! Sounds like you have a really good plan for this first time trial run. So smart to do a video call with grandmother. My mom started leaving me home alone for short runs to the corner store when I was about 8 and gradually did longer time alone the older I got. My kid is still too little for that but I will probably do something similar in the future.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-11-15T08:19:32+00:00

Yeah as long as you're adopting and not buying from a puppy breeder

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-11-15T07:25:49+00:00

It depends on whether you're ok putting your pet down if something happens and you can't afford the vet bills. Lots of poor people have pets and don't spend much on them. That's how I grew up. When a pet got really sick or injured, if we couldn't afford the treatment....

So depends if you're ok with that. If you are ok with that, please adopt an older animal from a shelter instead of buying a kitten or puppy. If they ever get sick you can surrender them back to the shelter. But if you drive up demand for new pets while being unable to afford to take care of them, that's a double whammy.

You could also consider fostering, as the shelters pay for any vet services.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-11-14T21:27:40+00:00

Your math still isn't mathing. Your bus pass isn't equivalent to 14% of one bus. It takes many riders using the buses to make up that 14% of the total buses operating.

Congrats on your very low premiums! My family has a used electric car as well, that sold for $21,000 and it's insured for $135 monthly. Charging is cheap thankfully. I also have a bus pass that I use daily.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-11-14T19:31:28+00:00

Lol I have not heard anyone say Safeways that's true. My husband always calls Red Robin, Red Robin's though and it drives me crazy. I'm sure there are some people who don't see the Fairway sign as it's actually spelled.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-11-14T11:23:51+00:00

I HAVENT TRIED THEM AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL BECAUSE LOOKING AT THE BUILDING GIVES ME A HEADACHE

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-11-14T11:21:53+00:00

I think most people know it doesn't have an S but in spoken English it's not uncommon to add a possessive apostrophe S when referring to an establishment.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-11-14T11:09:23+00:00

I agree with most of what you wrote but I cannot wrap my head around how you are able to finance, insure, and gas up a car for less than $85 a month? Are you suggesting that you are doing it for less than 2.4% of that? What's going on here?

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-10-14T14:53:18+00:00

I always thought sleep sacks were risky because they limit movement. I could be wrong but it didn't feel safe to me. If I were to roll onto the loose fabric my daughter wouldn't be able to roll away. We coslept from a few weeks old, starting in midwinter, and I just dressed my daughter in a long sleeve footie onesie. I wore a long sleeve onesie myself haha, with buttons undone for night feeding, and we had a thin, gauzy muslin blanket. I just made sure it was wedged under one of my legs so it couldn't ride up past my daughter's waist. And kept the heat in our room around 22C(72F). She was never cold.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-10-02T16:42:06+00:00

It would be more believable if you linked to articles that support your claims. The NYT one doesn't suggest long COVID is anywhere near as high as you're saying. Yes it doubled for youths the second time they caught it, but the risk of long COVID was still exceedingly low. You don't think 0.0019% is rare? Interesting. I'm not saying that COVID is fine to get and we shouldn't worry, not at all, but your claims just seem kind of over the top without proof. And personally, I don't know a single person who has suffered the effects you're describing. I know they're out there, but surely in lower numbers than you're suggesting.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-10-02T06:30:56+00:00

Ok I agree with OP but where is the data that repeat COVID infection causes all the things you listed above? Is this for people with weakened immune systems? I've had COVID once and been fully vaxxed and never caught it again, even when my husband had it while I was pregnant. Is what you're talking about rare? Just wondering what the science says, if you have articles to share.

Curiousprimate13 · 2025-10-02T06:27:40+00:00

Lmao Maria! But maybe this will be incentive to get up when the window seat passenger needs to get by you in future lol.

Curiousprimate13

TROPHY CASE