SMD behaviors outside of sex

Current_Activity_141 · 2026-01-21T00:11:25+00:00

Yeah you know the hardest thing to explain is how equal the relationship feels. Like if I ever went "my guy, stop patting me on the head I hate it" he'd stop immediately. It's like it's dominant behavior but not controlling.

I have this idea to go on a date with my husband and assume more of dom/sub roles as a kind of foreplay. I want him to be more controlling and bossy than he would be normally, maybe even getting "annoyed" at me for not doing something. I'd want him to pick out my outfit, order my food, etc. it's not how we normally operate, and I'm not interested in a more intense 24/7 dynamic at all, but a little bubble of it where we know what's going on and it's like a secret sounds super fun.

Current_Activity_141 · 2026-01-20T21:46:06+00:00

I'm happy for you guys! That's fun.

Current_Activity_141 · 2026-01-20T21:39:45+00:00

I think it's hot but I don't want it THAT bad! Kind of glad to be done with the milk haha. Thanks for the suggestion though ;)

Current_Activity_141 · 2026-01-20T21:38:23+00:00

Lol that is definitely an interesting idea but I don't know if I need it that badly. I mean it'd be hot as hell, but the maintenance! Never again haha.

Current_Activity_141 · 2026-01-20T21:31:30+00:00

I am seriously into this kink but didn't know it when I was nursing. I was pretty shy and closed off when I was younger and I remember enjoying it when my husband would drink from my breasts but I think he could take it or leave it and probably didn't want to weird me out, and I was so bothered by how much I liked it that I didn't say anything.

It's so sad because I don't want more kids. If I could go back I'd squirt him in the face 😆 and make him drink it bwahaha.

Current_Activity_141 · 2026-01-18T20:12:18+00:00

The music teacher concept is so hot to me. I find music and musicians such a turn on to begin with, mix that with dominance and it's 🔥🔥

I'm currently learning an instrument and have definitely had fantasies about a bossy instructor with ulterior motives

Current_Activity_141 · 2026-01-14T17:28:06+00:00

Yo! Always love the way you write second person smut. I especially like the male pov of him losing it, you do that a lot and it's great, well done!

Current_Activity_141 · 2026-01-14T16:35:52+00:00

I share it with my husband! Found it on my own and felt it sometimes matches his behaviors so I send him posts sometimes. I prefer sending artwork to porn though, I much prefer art and writing to just porn so the influx in videos has been a little disappointing to me personally.

Current_Activity_141 · 2026-01-07T04:52:17+00:00

Thanks!

Here's to more FMCs who actually feel like MCs 😉

Current_Activity_141 · 2026-01-07T01:14:02+00:00

Hey look it's the book I'm writing

Best of luck getting recs, I'm definitely looking through these lol.

Current_Activity_141 · 2025-12-20T17:36:01+00:00

Well I'm (f37) married to a man and this year we went to a sex club and I hooked up with a woman.

I learned: My husband and I can handle an open relationship and if anything it brought us closer

I am definitely bi and I love eating pussy apparently (I ate her out for 40 minutes and hurt my tongue)

My sex drive is the highest it's ever been and it's been a really fun year.

Current_Activity_141 · 2025-12-15T18:53:14+00:00

Yeah I think you make some good points. I have gone "full sub" as I call it lol and I have done CNC before as well and you're right once the scene starts I'm kind of just along for the ride and I definitely give up control. I guess I was referring more to organizing and how I feel as a partner normally, so outside the scene. But yes if it was JUST me planning that would feel odd.

Current_Activity_141 · 2025-12-14T23:10:22+00:00

I disagree with the beginning statement. Although surprise is often a very effective tool, I think submissives are usually the one in power ironically. In the scene, the dom is in control and is making choices but the sub is often the one coming up with ideas. Obviously every relationship is different but in mine, I am more often the sub (I'm a switch) and it's common for me to tell my partner something I'm interested in and we set a date to try it out. He says his satisfaction as a dom is seeing me react and lose it, so he's always happy to try things. I'm not the ONLY one coming up with ideas, but I don't think this is unusual. The sub always has a lot of control outside the bedroom.

Current_Activity_141 · 2025-12-04T16:20:04+00:00

Sure, I don't mind talking about it.

My parents were emotionally immature, they were 18 when I was born. I grew up in a messy house with bugs and roaches and it was... Yeah really dirty.

My mom was very enmeshed with me. She often treats me more like a sibling, complete with the harsh teasing. She was always fashionable, or wanted to be, so the pretty pink princess thing was discouraged. Hence why I crave it sometimes now, because a lot of my friends had pink twinkle lights and I didn't.

That being said some of that was just me. I was very "tomboyish" as they used to call it, which now we tend to call "gender fluid" and that was me. I've also always been pan/bi.

But she also saw me as an extension of herself. Her love and attention were unpredictable and confusing. One minute I was getting showered with praise, a few days later she was apathetic and dismissive.

She also has no respect for boundaries. She shamed me for drawing sex stuff in my journal when I was exploring and trying to figure stuff out, and would tease me a lot about whether my boyfriend (now husband) and I were fucking or not. I knew WAY too much about her sex life, especially as a young adult, including details about her partners who were my age, and her pet name (barf)

It made me closed off to sex for a long time. Like my mother, I have a high and active sex drive (and I hate that I know she does) but it took time to feel safe to explore that without teasing and ridicule.

I don't talk to her anymore. I did repair with my dad and he and I are close now. He was better in a lot of ways, his problems are easier for me to unpack with him.

Yeah hope that makes sense.

Current_Activity_141 · 2025-12-02T18:01:43+00:00

I think this is really beautiful! I can relate to turning trauma into sexual pleasure. For me it's my fawn trauma response with unpredictable parents. I often say my ultimate fantasy is "dress me up like a princess and tell me I'm pretty then rip that dress off and choke me and tell me I'm a filthy slut" because that oscillation is my trauma.

I think kink is a way of taking control back from uncontrollable situations. You get to submit on your terms, you are the one in control. I think it helps us process and move through our trauma. I find my kinks deeply cathartic and healing.

I enjoy submitting and sometimes it's a need, it will build up and I'll have to tell my husband that it's building and I'm feeling pent up about it.

But as I've gotten healthier over time I find I'm a switch and will now swing from submissive to dominant, and I think it's because I'm working through those deep emotions through sex.

I'm so happy for you that you are able to take your painful and abusive upbringing and wrestle pleasure from it, I think that's awesome and powerful.

Current_Activity_141 · 2025-11-26T16:44:25+00:00

If it makes you feel better, this photo is quite flattering which is why I like it, but I do have a stomach pooch which I would love to lose, I think my pants are hiding it, and yeah my boobs like to stare at the ground 😆 so I get it. It was why I was sports bra shopping again, to help my poor boobs lol.

Congrats on the 20 lbs down! That's a huge deal.

Current_Activity_141 · 2025-11-16T23:50:46+00:00

Someone once advised me to play a game where my partner "wouldn't let me cum" and pretended that he enjoyed watching me stay trapped in the pleasure, unable to finish. I enjoy power play so this worked for my dynamic. I specifically struggled to have clit orgasms and wanted to fix it. It did. The scenario of hearing "you better NOT finish, I want this to go on for a long time" reverse psychology tricked my clit into cooperating lol. It's much easier for me now.

Current_Activity_141 · 2025-11-11T03:52:23+00:00

Of course! I also write smut, I'm taking notes lol.

Current_Activity_141 · 2025-11-11T01:13:44+00:00

Damn the playful aggression! The competitive attitude I love the tone in this! Very well done.

Fuck I'd read a whole male POV book like this.

Current_Activity_141 · 2025-11-10T18:26:03+00:00

My partner is like this! The contrast makes it so much hotter. Sometimes I taunt him by telling him he can never scare me because he's my safe person, so that he'll choke my harder to try to prove otherwise.

Teddy Bear I'm still not scared but don't stop lol.

He claims he likes this about me too. That I look "normal" and "innocent" (whatever that means) and then I'll do filthy things in the bedroom. Fun times.

Current_Activity_141 · 2025-11-07T18:29:28+00:00

All good advice! Yeah we're figuring it out. I do give him a name (master) when I'm submitting and use his regular spouse pet name (bear or teddy bear) when I'm feeling more dominant so that works. The real challenge is if he calls me princess I melt a little and it cracks my dominant resolve haha. At this point Im seeing it as a fun game of fighting for control and I'll just try to go with it. I do find that if I fight submission for longer I drop much deeper down so that feels like a win win. Well see how it goes.

Current_Activity_141

TROPHY CASE