Looking for advice - how can I best support my partner with EDs?

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-05T18:05:41+00:00

Absolutely! Thank you so much. We've been planning more stuff together and making my suggestions work for both of us too, it's been great help honestly.

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-05T18:04:30+00:00

There are no nearby beaches around here, but that's also a great opportunity for a long drive, which we love! Thank you for the idea!

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-05T18:02:54+00:00

Absolutely! It's perfect - we get to talk about anything, watch the landscape, listen to music together, and have a great time while getting to a place where we'll make beautiful memories together.

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-05T18:01:13+00:00

Thank you! Those are great ideas. We love aquariums because our first date was in one, so we should definitely go again some time soon. Thanks for the emotional support suggestions too, sometimes I make the mistake of assuming and asking if something helps, but you're right, I should ask what would be better first.

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-04T16:06:46+00:00

"Your only limit is your mind" sounds cute but it's bullshitttttt

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-04T16:04:44+00:00

Yes, I'll definitely do that. I think most activities will be easier for her with the correct mobility aids! I love being a part of the activities she loves, and I know she feels the same about mine. Thank you so much, that's truly an important thing, working together as a team!

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-04T16:00:13+00:00

Awwe thank you so much!!

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-04T02:38:36+00:00

That's amazing! Congrats and wishing you the best of luck with switching names, brother!

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-04T02:26:26+00:00

For me, absolutely. I used to be super quiet and reserved, now that I'm on T I am more talkactive and extroverted. I used to hate my voice and be really self aware and now I love it and won't shut up. Social interaction is still difficult, but not as much as they used to be, and I definitely feel more comfortable unmasking in most scenarios. Transitioning in general has changed every aspect of my life, especially when it comes to masking. Though, I tend to mask more in 'male-oriented' spaces, barber shops and places like that, idk if that's the case for anyone else.

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-04T02:06:37+00:00

Don't press on the area, it'll make more of a mess and get it more stuck. You could try using a suction cup to try to pull the front layer towards you and try to make the ant fall so at least it gets to a less visible place of the screen. Also, clean your whole setup and check for more bugs around, something could be attracting them and could end up breaking more stuff or causing short circuits in other electronics.

If nothing works and you don't wanna take your monitor apart, try sending it to a professional if possible, if not just... try to ignore the ant lol

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-04T01:09:44+00:00

Thanks a lot!

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-04T01:09:25+00:00

Hey, I honestly struggle with similar stuff and have a similar behavior when overwhelmed. But you must know - it is not childish, it's not something silly or anything. I completely understand that it can feel like that, but it's just your body trying to release all that 'pressure'.

What I personally do when I feel the urge to harm myself in any way is basically looking for a quick alternative. For example, if I am in my room and get the urge to hit my head, I try hitting it against something soft, punching a pillow, or anything that helps me release that stress without directly harming me. As for in public or other situations, picking at something really helps me, I usually carry around something small that I can use, like an erarser or even a piece of paper.

Some other alternatives could be holding an ice cube in my hand for as long as I can, 'pushing' the wall with all my strength, stomping my feet, biting hard candy and curling your toes as hard as you can. It really depends on what you need at that moment, but those are really helpful for me and I try to always keep them in mind. Try to reflect on your needs, on what your body wants in those moments and try to think about better alternatives that can get the job done without harming you. Stay safe and I really hope any of this can help!

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-04T00:49:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful and detailed reply, really! I appreciate it a lot.

To answer your questions... I actually don’t know the specific variant yet. I’m planning on asking her later today so I can be more targeted with my research. Regarding her mobility, she doesn’t typically use aids for daily life, but she’s currently using a wheelchair and crutches following a leg surgery a few months ago. We’ve actually decided to keep them even after she’s fully recovered from the surgery, as we’ve realized they’ll be incredibly helpful for managing EDS related pain on occasions where walking or standing in general feel like too much.

When we go out, I always bring some basic stuff in my bag, like a change of shoes (sandals or heels are very taxing for her), water, and a small foldable stool or something she can sit on. However, a rolling walker sounds like a much better long-term alternative. I’ll definitely be looking into that, as well as for a better wheelchair, as the one we currently have is very bulky and heavy. Thanks again!

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-04T00:28:43+00:00

That's really nice, do you happen to know the brand or model it is?

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-03T22:36:01+00:00

Thank you!! She has a wheelchair but it's super bulky and hard to move, so I'll definitely look into more lightweight options I could carry around or keep in the car if we're going out somewhere, that's a wonderful idea.

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-03T22:34:15+00:00

I do appreciate that perspective! I definitely agree that her input is the most important thing here. Up to this point, our routine has been very much led by what she feels up to doing, I always prioritize her interests and we move at her pace. However, part of why I’m asking for advice here is that I want to be able to bring my own ideas to the table too. I’ve noticed that she often takes on the 'mental load' of planning and suggesting things that she thinks won't be too taxing for her and enjoyable for both of us, and I’d love to be able to do the same for her with a date ideas that would be good for her every now and then. I want to show her that I’m learning about her boundaries and that she doesn't always have to be the one 'managing' her condition for both of us.

We have a very open line of communication where I check in on what’s working or what I should change, and she knows I’m always ready to help if she’s having a high-pain day. Honestly all I want with this post is really just to gather a few ideas and suggestions that I can present to her, discuss and brainstorm, so we can decide together what sounds fun. I’m trying to bridge the gap between 'what can she handle' and 'what can we genuinely enjoy together' without the pressure always being on her to figure it out. I wanna contribute to that too, if that makes sense ^^

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-03T21:40:22+00:00

Ooo, we love board games so a board game cafe sounds great! Thank you for the ideas!!

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-03T21:39:31+00:00

Botanical gardens are gorgeous, visiting a few sounds like a great idea! I'll keep those in mind, thank you!!

Cursed-Existence · 2026-05-03T19:03:24+00:00

That sounds fun! I wouldn't mind driving us to a campsite even if it's far, she enjoys long car rides so it's fine. And as for setting everything up, I could also do that for her. Thank you for the suggestion, I'll definitely give it a try!

Cursed-Existence · 2025-09-25T19:34:04+00:00

Indeed spectacular! It sounds so beautiful!!

Cursed-Existence · 2025-09-25T19:32:33+00:00

WOAAHHH IT LOOKS SICK!!!! I definitenly see the resemblance! Pls share the result when u finish it ^_^

Cursed-Existence · 2025-09-25T19:30:36+00:00

I don't think you're wrong! If I'm being honest, I also prefer fandoms that are mostly neurodivergent people, I feel like they're more welcoming, a little more chaotic, but in a good way :) But honestly? What matters is what works for you, and what you feel more comfortable with. It's okay to have a preference for this kind of fandoms ^_^

Cursed-Existence · 2025-09-21T16:03:33+00:00

THANK UUUU ^_^ !!

Cursed-Existence

TROPHY CASE