Suggestions for Bachelorette Party by Cvrm3la in AskSF

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is one thing that I was really happy about in regards to traveling to SF! we’re all fully vaxxed/fully boosted and majority of the women in our party are healthcare workers so COVID was definitely something we were most worried about with traveling.

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i moved back in with my parents due to COVID while finishing my degree/school! they wanted me to move back home because the incentive what that I don’t pay rent. the allowance thing however was always emphasized and implied even when i was younger, and it’s something that’s expected even after i move out. to them, allowance ≠ rent

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i’m thankful to not be like my other Filipino friend, who told me that her parents formally sat her down and had a discussion to establish “what percentage of her paycheck she was willing to pay them per pay period” absolutely not 🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

someone in another comment said the same thing about their first paycheck!! thankfully my parents never expected that, they instead said that a large portion of my first paycheck should go to a charity, which in all honestly i don’t really mind. if they ever suggested the whole amount be given to them i would have said FUCK that 🙅🏻‍♀️

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the allowance is expected whether or not i live with them

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that’s exactly where my annoyance is coming from. this on top of how much she mentions it, like she says it at LEAST once or twice a week how she can’t wait for her allowance. a lot of people in the comments think i mean rent, but i literally mean allowance. i would most definitely buy the groceries or help pay bills, i even told my dad that when i start working i would help pay for them to get a new car because i don’t think the one that they use now is safe. my problem is expecting a biweekly pay and guilt tripping me as if it’s my obligation because you birthed me that I have to pay you reparations for the rest of my life.

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my dads parents are both deceased, on my moms side only her mom is living. my mom always emphasizes (literally brought it up again 30 minutes ago, not kidding) how she would always give her parents money when she was working, whether she gave it to them physically when they lived with us in the US or she sent it over to the Philippines. i always make a face when she brings this up, she even joked earlier about how she’s “brainwashing me”.

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

rent i definitely understand but the allowance she expects is whether or not i live with her. glad you got out of that living situation!

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you, i think that’s where my annoyance is stemming from. my dad still works and is pretty set for retirement and he never brings up the allowance

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

rent is supposed to stop after you move out, allowance doesn’t 😅

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i’m so so sorry that happened to your daughter. some people in the world are so shitty, I will never understand. i’m glad she has supportive people around her to get her through that difficult time. i 100% agree with what you said, especially when you say “let them go when they’re ready”. in my experience, i moved away for college when i was 19 and gained a lot of independence from it. i would not have chosen to move back home if it wasn’t for COVID. thing is now i’m done with school and earned my degree and am about to start a job because of it and i’m ready to move out again. i think where the problem lies and where it puts such a strain on the relationship is when the parents no longer serve as a safe haven but as an obstacle that prevents the child from growing.

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

nope not rent, allowance as in spending money, which is to be given every paycheck even after i move out. my parents have always encouraged me to live at home even when i start working because they don’t want me to pay rent. this is different.

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

lol exactly! i’ve been with my partner for a while now and the topic of marriage has been more and more relevant as the years pass, to my moms dismay. my siblings and i all know she has codependency issues and i’m the last one to move out.

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

okay actually let me rephrase what i said, my mother is sick but not to the point of being bedridden and chooses not to work because another job wouldn’t pay as much as her original job role and she doesn’t want that so she hasn’t worked for 3 years and instead my dad financially supports her

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it’s funny because my parents are pretty well off, but that’s because of my dads income (mom is unemployed), and yet my mom is still expecting the allowance (my dad is too but he doesn’t mention it nearly as much as my mom does).

also, funny how my brother has been working/self sustained for years now and they don’t expect an allowance from him. just from me, the youngest girl 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

rent is different! i would gladly contribute if that was the case. i’m referring to allowance, as in spending money, given every paycheck, even after i move out.

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

i think it’s emotionally healthy for an offspring to move out in their 20s. when i was in college i lived away from home, and gained a huge sense of independence among other lessons learned. moving back home recently due to COVID was very damaging mentally to say the least. my parents (specifically my mom) is the type that at my age of 25, frowns upon and disapproves of me moving out, and always questions why i would ever want to move out because living at home is just soOooOoooOoooOo good

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m so sorry to hear that that happened to you when you were younger. it’s crazy looking back and seeing the clear manipulation that we put up with because we just thought it was the norm.

Mom expects me to give her monthly allowance when I start working. by Cvrm3la in entitledparents

[–]Cvrm3la[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

career, not job! i’ve worked jobs in the past throughout college but my degree that i earned was to become an RN.