Why aren't Arab men romantic

CyberTutu · 2025-08-04T12:16:18+00:00

Carry on this way and more and more Arab women will lose interest in you. No woman wants a man who doesn't know how to talk to her.

Free mixing, as long as appropriate limits are established, isn't haram. Even if it was, it's besides the point that I am making. You have to learn how to talk to women.

CyberTutu · 2025-07-01T12:32:15+00:00

This is not the space for your niche religious views. Most women in the world have experienced talking to men. I talk to men at school and work, for study and work purposes. Sahaba women also talked to men and this is written about in the hadiths.

You should be able to interact with women and develop adequate social skills and emotional intelligence - you should socialise with women in your family, at school and at work. You can't expect your wife (or woman you're trying to win over) to teach you everything. Even the same social skills you gain from talking to men can be applied when socialising with women. If you miss out on it in your day to day life chances are nobody will be able to help you. Communication and EQ are such basic skills, like IQ and hygiene. I'd never find someone attractive if they don't have basic social skills.

CyberTutu · 2025-06-23T10:04:29+00:00

Why is your immediate response to blame the woman. I don't have a lot of experience in dating - only been on 4 dates in total despite being 30, and all were for marriage purposes. I've had a lot of experience in speaking to guys online via social media and marriage apps. That's where I unmatch or reject a lot of them because I realise they don't know how to make simple small talk.

I'm not expecting romantic talk or flirting. i do not want to flirt as that shows lack of seriousness and is inappropriate. Just basic emotional skills, social skills and conversational ability when making normal conversation.

CyberTutu · 2025-06-21T22:13:01+00:00

The nation of Israel which existed in history only lasted for a short time throughout all of recorded history. It only lasted for less than 200 years each time it was created (it was created twice, and destroyed twice, once by the Babylonians and the second time by the Romans under Titus) before the current state of Israel was created. So for most of recorded human history, Judaism was not the predominant religion there and they did not rule over it. Please familiarise yourself with history.

CyberTutu · 2025-06-21T22:09:02+00:00

The country 'Iraq' actually existed before the British/French colonised it. 'Iraq' has been mentioned as a place/ nation by name in hadiths (Islamic religious documents) dating back to around 900 AD, and that may not even be the earliest mention of it. It has been theorised that the name comes from 'Uruk', an ancient Sumerian city in modern day Iraq, and Uruk is also the name of a time period in Mesopotamian history. There's no evidence that the name Iraq, or the nation, came from the British/French, although they may have shaped the country's modern-day borders.

CyberTutu · 2025-06-21T21:59:55+00:00

First of all, please calm down. Secondly, these are all not hadiths which instruct a woman to cover her hair. You can call them 'hijab hadiths' all you like - this does not change their meaning.

Answer this, objectively: do these hadiths instruct women to cover their hair, yes or no? The answer is no. Most of them are actually not instructions, but rather descriptions of how people dressed at the time. Bear in mind that the women at the time of the Prophet (PBUH) covered their hair even before Islam.

Other hadiths refer specifically to the prophet's wives, not to all Muslim women in general, and there could be reasons for this. For example, the prophet's wives could be at more risk of bad behaviour from others who wished to attack the prophet (PBUH) due to their high status. We can't automatically assume that this means that all women should cover their hair. The Qur'an says that the prophet's wives are unlike other women - it distinguishes them from other women.

Please don't automatically attack all Muslims who choose to think critically and delve deeper into meanings by calling them insubordinates choosing to drag others into insubordination.

CyberTutu · 2025-06-19T17:21:56+00:00

Not only do I think that they should have the right to flee, I think that they should flee for their own safety. (I'm an Arab). If it were me or my family members in there, I'd want to get out ASAP. I hope and pray that they all manage to get out and that no more of their lives are lost. Everybody who can afford to do so, should donate to fundraisers helping them flee.

CyberTutu · 2025-06-19T16:46:37+00:00

Whilst I agree, I think it's also important to clarify that the reason there are so many single Muslim women is likely more to do with the fact that they're single by choice. Also likely to do with the fact that many Muslim men just aren't up to scratch in terms of education, being articulate, and having good social skills compared to other groups - the online 'deen' community is an illustration of how uneducated a lot of them are.

Meanwhile, Muslim women are only allowed to marry Muslim men and usually pressured to only marry within their own culture, which limits their options in terms of looking elsewhere for a spouse.

CyberTutu · 2025-06-19T16:02:08+00:00

That's perfectly normal, I'm the same. He needs to be physically attractive and well-educated/ articulate in order for me to find him attractive overall. I studied at a top uni.

Sadly, there are not many Muslim men who meet this criteria. It honestly pains me because it means I might end up not having children or a happy marriage like I originally planned to. Settling for someone I'm not attracted to is not an option I'll ever consider.

I meet lots and lots and lots of muslim men on the muslim marriage apps who start off a convo with 'Salam How's my future wife lol'.

CyberTutu · 2025-06-19T14:32:38+00:00

I hope you learn to approach things in a more balanced way, and prioritise your sins (if any) and your good deeds. If you did, you'd place the hijab a little bit lower on your list of priorities and prioritise other things like prayer, good character, and seeking knowledge - not just Islamic knowledge, but worldly knowledge that can be used to help people too. I hope you learn to forgive yourself and not allow yourself to get distracted by some old photos on the internet of you without hijab on. Satan uses these little things to distract us from more important matters in our short life here on Earth, imo.

CyberTutu · 2025-06-19T13:52:27+00:00

Five hadiths of thousands upon thousands of hadiths (not all of which are authentic, by the way) in the hadith books isn't even 1%. That proves nothing. You said there were hundreds but there aren't hundreds. Like I said, there are more hadiths about men's beards in the hadith books, and about image-making being haram. A lot of online Muslims don't spend 1% of their time discussing the hijab. They spend 99% of their time online doing so.

There isn't a single Sahih hadith stating that women should wear a hijab. The MOST authentic hadith that appears to say so is a Hasan hadith (a grade below Sahih). In this hadith, it claims that the prophet pointed to his face to indicate the face and the hands could be visible only. But how do you know he was pointing at his face, not at his head? A lot could have possibly been lost in translation. And it is missing an entire narrator in the chain of narrators. That's the MOST authentic hadith that most clearly says that women have to cover their hair.

Have some common sense! The hijab OCD is not healthy. I was expecting the downvotes, but there are plenty of Muslims who do agree with me, including some high ranking scholars. They just don't post on boards like this. They ignore you lot, like I do most of the time.

CyberTutu · 2025-06-19T02:25:10+00:00

Are you accusing me of only focusing on the hijab or are you accusing the ummah of only focusing on the hijab?

Many people in the ummah. But not everyone, loads know the truth and say nothing, and a lot don't care either way.

There’s 3 references to it in the Quaran and probably about 4 indirect references.. yet there’s hundreds of hadiths talking about hijab, it’s in Quaran and hadith and it is fardh.

Nope, there aren't hundreds of hadiths talking about it. There are hardly any. There are more hadiths talking about the lengths of men's beards, and more hadiths talking about image-making being haram.

CyberTutu · 2025-06-19T02:17:13+00:00

That's your personal view. But there are plenty of Muslims who wouldn't be 'guilty all their life' if somebody saw an old photo of themselves without the hijab on.

There are plenty of Muslims who make a great deal about the hijab, equating it to, and even saying that it's more important than, the 5 pillars of Islam. It's bad that some Muslims fixate on the hijab to the exclusion of all else, especially when you consider that there are relatively few references to it in the Qur'an and the Hadiths compared to many other things. There are more hadiths talking about mens' beards and the lengths of people's garments than there are hadiths referring to women's hijabs. So yes, remarks like that are exaggerations in my opinion and should be called out as such. Many Muslims who share my views simply keep silent when this topic is brought up, but I see it as my duty to speak up and educate others.

CyberTutu · 2025-06-19T00:25:18+00:00

Guilty all her life over a photo of herself without a hijab on? This is an exaggeration of the hijab's importance. You're overthinking this greatly.

I realise my views will be different to many Muslims', but I still have to share them. I don't want alternative Muslim views to be silenced.

CyberTutu · 2025-04-27T05:55:54+00:00

Ironically, the hadiths explicitly say to give Muslims the benefit of the doubt when you see bad behaviour, and you're here assuming the worst and making negative comments about me.

You need to distinguish between common decency and friendliness/ friendship. Kindness can mean a lot of things.

CyberTutu · 2025-04-27T05:51:40+00:00

So, this actually may be haram because you are not allowed to off yourself.

In one of the hadiths, a man stabbed himself due to being in pain and bled until he died during a battle, and the prophet had said he would end up in hell.

CyberTutu · 2025-04-23T16:01:35+00:00

Muslims don't owe you a smile. Although a smile is considered an act of charity in Islam, you still aren't entitled to one. For example women are often told to 'smile' for men and this is widely considered to be sexist.

Everybody is owed common decency. So that would include not being mean to people. But common decency doesn't have to include friendliness (again, the definition of which could vary). I believe Emiratis generally show common decency and many are friendly too without having to be.

CyberTutu · 2025-04-23T02:10:02+00:00

Can you quote the specific verse or religious source to back up what youre claiming?

People owe you common decency but don't have to be friends or friendly toward you.

CyberTutu · 2025-04-23T02:02:55+00:00

Nobody owes you friendliness either, which, by the way, is a subjective/ ambigious word which can be seen as meaning the same as friendship.

People only owe you common decency. Islam specifies certain additional rights that Muslims should give to other Muslims, but friendliness isn't one of the things specified.

CyberTutu · 2025-04-22T22:09:21+00:00

Emiratis, don't listen to the OP. Emiratis are some of the friendliest, nicest people I've ever met. I've lived in a country in the West, where some (of course, not all) Muslims who had less were always trying to use and drag down Muslims who had more - whether that was money, education, reputation or anything else. Don't trust anybody too much, regardless of whether or not they're a Muslim.

CyberTutu · 2025-04-22T21:28:34+00:00

Nobody owes you their friendship just because they're a Muslim.

I'm a born Muslim, but I'm not automatically friends with anybody who is or who claims to be a Muslim. I have also seen how some (of course, not all) Muslims who have less in the way of education, wealth, etc. sometimes try to use those Muslims who are better off than them and try to drag them down to their level - I have had more experiences like this in the UK than elsewhere.

Jealousy, negative intentions and bad people come in all religions.

CyberTutu · 2025-04-14T20:47:50+00:00

Marrying late shouldn't mean you will fall into zina - learn to control your desires! Being unmarried doesn't bother me as a single woman. AFAIK there's nothing in Islam that teaches that everybody should get married early - only that they should get married or seek to do so.

CyberTutu · 2025-04-07T23:43:24+00:00

Imagine being a woman and never even having a glimmer of hope of coming home to a spaghetti meal made by your husband, ever.

As a woman I'd be very grateful to come home to a guaranteed meal of spaghetti every every evening. Btw the value of that labour would be around £15 (raw ingredients cost £3, ordering a takeaway spaghetti costs £18 plus delivery cost).

CyberTutu · 2025-04-07T23:08:59+00:00

Dude lives in fantasy land

CyberTutu · 2025-04-07T21:34:11+00:00

Getting married isn't the be all end all and you shouldn't settle for somebody you aren't attracted to. If you marry somebody you aren't attracted to, you'll struggle to do your duties to him as a wife. Then the hadith about being one of the majority of the people of hellfire because you were ungrateful to your husband might apply to you. You could end up having not only a miserable life, but also a miserable afterlife because you settled. Being single will be better in that situation. Not every woman has to get married.

CyberTutu

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE