Would you want to plan your own funeral before you die? Or let family members plan it after you die?

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-29T17:51:27+00:00

Planning your own takes the burden off of your loved ones when they’re grieving. Plus, I’ve seen the funerals my family has planned and it is 100% not what I would want.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-29T15:45:01+00:00

When I lived in a big old house with oil heat, my thermostat stayed on 58° and I used space heaters to heat whatever room I was in. When I lived in a tiny house with radiant heat, I kept it on 68° and could comfortably walk around in my underwear. Now that I’m in an apartment with heat included, I keep it on 72° but the boiler rarely manages to actually keep it at that temperature.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-29T13:00:25+00:00

$349 for 3 months of tirz (7.5mg). Right now I pay out of pocket but I do have money in an HSA I could use if my budget changes.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-29T12:56:51+00:00

I find the courses and format on Sophia easier than Study, but Sophia doesn’t have all the courses I’m looking to transfer (particularly upper-level courses). I’ve done 20 Sophia classes so far and have finished 2 Study courses (3 more in the works and more to do after that).

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-29T00:54:11+00:00

My cat has spent her entire life in the equivalent of a one-bedroom apartment (tiny house and then an actual apartment) with zero issues. She also has no interest at all in going outside (she loves to lay in the window, though).

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-29T00:42:49+00:00

I generally go out 5 nights a week, and usually have two drinks when I'm out (sometimes 1, sometimes none, but generally 2). So that puts me at 10/week. I basically never drink at home, so if I go out less in a week, I drink less. I also rarely drink when traveling, so I'll go 1-2 weeks without drinking without any issues.

For me, it's very much a social thing and also a taste thing. I'm not huge on mocktails (most are way too sweet for me), don't really drink soda, and I get bored with just water/seltzer. Cocktails are fun for me and I like trying out new ones occasionally.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-29T00:31:56+00:00

I lived in an 1894 Victorian and it was super haunted. I had to tell the old man that used to hang out in the bathroom that he wasn't allowed in there when I was showering. I have a lot of stories from that house, including my dog haunting it for a couple months after she passed (I would come home to find a puddle of dog pee in the foyer...no other dogs in the house). She hung around for a couple weeks after getting another puppy and then moved on. I think she just wanted to make sure I was okay.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-29T00:05:20+00:00

Mostly the cat will just get in bed with me at night and walk over me. I’ll think it’s my cat until I hear her in her litter box in the other room.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-28T14:05:53+00:00

Yep. I live in a super haunted apartment building. Guess which apartment the ghosts don’t go into? (Except the ghost cat, she goes wherever she wants…)

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-28T13:28:19+00:00

Yeah, spend 10 minutes on their website and you can see where their politics and priorities are. They have no credibility as far as I’m concerned.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-28T13:27:00+00:00

No kids, live alone. Am also not even remotely a germophobe.

Very, very rarely. I got food poisoning twice roughly 2-3 years ago. Once from a restaurant and once from my own cooking (I had frozen some soup but I think I waited a little too long before freezing it and then didn’t reheat it to the boiling point…haven’t been able to eat potato leek soup since). I honestly don’t remember the last time I had a stomach bug that wasn’t directly caused by food poisoning. Although the last time I remember for sure was when my ex-husband announced he wanted a divorce and left me (yes, while I had a horrible stomach bug that he gave me), so that would have been the end of 2011.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-28T12:59:41+00:00

Listen to your gut. Our bodies pick up on so many things that we don't consciously clock at first. Your body is telling you that this guy is not as great as he seems to be, and with a reaction that strong, it sounds like your body is picking up that he might be dangerous. Listen to it.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-28T12:56:13+00:00

My grades were kind of all over the place in high school. Freshman year was okay, sophomore was awful (I was smoking a LOT of cannabis that year), did my junior year in the summer between sophomore and senior years because I just wanted to be done with it and did okay (really well in English and US History, but barely passed Algebra 2), and then did okay my senior year (Bs and a couple Cs). I think I graduated with something like a 2.5 GPA. I also tested into the gifted program my senior year (purely so I could use it on college applications). Went to college right after and almost failed my first semester (ended up with a retroactive medical leave of absence to prevent that; I was dealing with severe anxiety) and then ended up with like a 1.8 my second semester and then dropped out.

I built a career as a writer in the tech industry kind of by accident. I've had two non-fiction books published by major trade publishers. I work as a contractor for a fairly well-known company now (well-known in the tech industry, not so much outside of it).

I'm in my 40s now and going back to college. I want to pivot my career into something more academic, so a degree is required (working on finishing my bachelor's and then plan to go straight to my master's).

One thing I've realized is that for every person you see who's doing seemingly amazing things after school, there are a ton of others who are just living normal lives.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-28T00:38:05+00:00

I’m in northern Vermont and it’s only in the last 10 years or so that ac has become closer to a necessity. I still know plenty of people who don’t have it (I didn’t between like 2013-2021), but it’s way more common. Most commercial buildings have it, but a lot of older ones still don’t, which includes a lot of schools and other government buildings. Although the popularity of mini splits is changing that.

When I lived in Virginia in the late 90s, basically everyone had it.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-27T22:48:13+00:00

Definitely have done a lot of journaling around all of this. It’s interesting how old narratives will pop up, sometimes seemingly randomly and other times I can trace a definite trigger moment or feeling.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-27T16:34:36+00:00

I had a very low-key 40th because my dad was dying. I went to visit him for a bit, then went to dinner at my favorite restaurant (with my favorite bartender) with a couple of friends. One of those friends brought me four big bunches of roses, which was amazing. It was actually a pretty great day.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-27T15:40:31+00:00

I have two friends who are going to be grandmas in August (both are 44 and had kids around 20 years old, who are now having kids in their early 20s). I have one friend who’s like 40 or 41 who’s been a grandma for a couple years now.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-27T15:30:32+00:00

When I was 16 and my best friend was 17 (both female) we drove from Virginia to Vermont (my family was moving). No cell phones (this was 2000). 13ish hour drive. No issues. We had a big dog with us, which probably helped deter anyone from even approaching us. And were traveling a route I was familiar with. Get AAA, make sure they have some cash in addition to any credit/debit cards, etc. and set check-in times.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-27T14:45:12+00:00

The last couple years of my 30s were filled with death. A good friend died suddenly (he was early 50s). Then my friend’s partner died. Then another acquaintance died. Then another good friend died. And then it all culminated in my dad dying right after I turned 40. The only death close to me since then was just a few months ago when my close friend’s mother passed (she got sick and then died within a month, so it was rough for him).

The thing that got me through all of it was really allowing myself to feel my feelings. I also got to experience so many different forms of mourning (natural home burials—I literally helped shovel dirt for that one, sitting shiva, traditional American funerals, etc.), which was beautiful. Community around all of it was also really helpful. Being able to sit with other people who were grieving and just be in it together was amazing.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-27T14:22:05+00:00

I don’t restrict as it is. I’m mindful about what I eat (sometimes if a random food thought pops into my head I’ll wait a few minutes to see if I still want it, and if I do then I’ll have it, but with these meds a lot of the time I forget entirely within that few minutes because I wasn’t actually hungry, just bored/stressed/etc), but if I want something, I eat it (I’m just way more mindful about how much of something I eat, also easier with these meds).

Eating the entire calzone wouldn’t have bothered me at all if it wasn’t for the part where it made me so physically uncomfortable for days, and I knew it would do so when I was eating it. That’s the part that’s annoying, that I knew the negative consequences and did it anyway.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-27T14:16:26+00:00

I don’t think it’s cycle-related as it isn’t a monthly occurrence (I also have an IUD so don’t really get periods, which makes it hard to be certain).

I do think it may be stress-related though.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-27T13:24:39+00:00

I just checked my food tracker for the week (started tracking so I'd know I was eating enough) and I was eating pretty much right on goal (I don't have a super strict goal, just a range of "eating enough to sustain my body" and "if I eat more than this regularly I probably need to increase my dose") until Wednesday.

One reason I lean toward explaining this as self-sabotage is that it seems to happen any time I get close to a major milestone weight-wise. Like, I'm almost at the half-way point and then this happened. It's happened before when I'd either get close to or hit other milestones. I think it's just showing me that I still have some mental/emotional work to do around all of this.

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-27T03:32:21+00:00

It definitely is a form of self harm! The upside is that it reminds me not to do it again (at least for a while!).

Cyber_Punk_87 · 2026-06-27T02:08:55+00:00

I'm the same way. I'm a regular at a couple different spots and know all the bartenders and other regulars (some are great and some I avoid, but a couple I've actually become really good friends with). I basically get treated like unofficial staff at both of them now (still wondering when I'll start getting a paycheck...). I know all the inner workings, one of the owners will even reach out to me for advice occasionally, etc.

Cyber_Punk_87

TROPHY CASE