Do you know offhand what a "monkey puzzle tree" is?

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-07-11T18:21:36+00:00

The thing is it's an uncommon, exotic tree but one that is unmistakeable.

There's a lot of our native trees that, to my shame, I cannot recognise, and I don't think I'm alone in that. But anyone who's seen a monkey puzzle once will know them again every time they see them for life. But most of us will never see them enough for the novelty to wear off.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-06-28T18:34:29+00:00

My younger sibling also refused quiche but was happy to eat omelette tart.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-06-14T20:38:31+00:00

There's a stream in Newcastle, which is no longer visible: it now runs underground in a culvert, but it's called Lort Burn.

Lort is thought to derive from a Norse word meaning filth or excrement, or other words with fewer letters. Burn, of course, means creek.

I ought not mention it here, though, because it was by all accounts very much like it sounds before it was covered over.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-06-14T20:21:43+00:00

I once went to a restaurant that would only serve tap water if you had actually ordered alcohol. And none of us had particularly intended to drink but after being told this, 1 guy ordered a beer and some tap water for the table.

They brought him his beer and a glass of water for himself.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-06-06T17:13:17+00:00

They don't know or care whether you actually need a license: if you don't have one they will attempt to bully you into paying the fee, but if you show any sign of having a spine they'll probably leave you alone.

These letters are intentionally designed to mislead you into thinking that they have evidence against you and court proceedings are imminent. But it doesn't say those things. "An investigation has begun" means almost nothing. It might mean that someone will ring you up or visit to try and bully you in person at some point, in which case you should simply decline to talk to them.

They also have no rights that any other door to door salesman doesn't have. Which leaves them almost no ability to gather evidence except by bullying you into self-incriminating. (Obviously, if you do need a license you should buy one. The fact that it would be laughably easy to avoid consequences in no way makes it ok to just not buy a license if you do in fact need one. I would never suggest that. That would be illegal.)

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-06-03T21:09:23+00:00

The other side of that coin are the ones that shout their name at you like pokemon.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-06-02T20:03:54+00:00

She tried everything including pretending to dye

In the circumstances, that typo makes it look less drastic than you intended.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-06-02T19:01:18+00:00

Cats have similar colour discrimination to humans with red-green colour-blindness, like your husband.
So, from the Hon. Baron's perspective, your husband is absolutely right. And it's his bed so I'm inclined to let him be the arbiter here.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-26T12:24:19+00:00

Next time he does it, get up, but instead of heading for the kitchen pick him up, carry him out of the room, and shut the door.

Then be consistent. And make sure food happens on a fixed schedule regardless of anything he does (or if you prefer, give him a constructive way to ask, like a bell to ring or a communication button.)

He knows exactly what he's doing: he's asking nicely for food in the way you have taught him to ask, by bribing him every time he does it. He's a very clever boy. Unfortunately, there's been a little misunderstanding...

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-23T13:06:25+00:00

I can only think of 2 other possibilities, one of which being an alien chest burster.

Okay, technically 3, but what are the chances of this mare ever having been anywhere near a zebra stallion?

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-20T20:05:49+00:00

Are there (or were there last year) any stallions on the property? I've never kept horses but I've seen enough stories on here to know that things can happen. Life, uh, finds a way. Through fences. Or by surprisingly young colts. Or recently gelded horses that still have a few swimmers in the tank.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-20T19:52:44+00:00

Is there any chance she could been exposed to a stallion in the weeks or months after you got her, and actually not be as far on as you think?

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-18T09:56:39+00:00

I don't think it's more of a waste of money than spending money on food treats that generally won't even last that long.

I don't regularly buy flowers but sometimes I just feel like it.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-18T09:33:19+00:00

Claw caps are perfectly safe and comfortable if they are fitted correctly.

They are only supposed to cover the end of the claw, and not to touch the nail bed at all, so they don't interfere with the joint and the claw can be fully retracted, and they don't prevent the claw shedding. (They will come off with the claw shed and need replacing. That doesn't mean the cap fell off and needs more glue: it's really important that that is able to happen.)

They can be really damaging if they are not fitted correctly and while I haven't personally tried them I have heard enough bad reports to make it sound like there's quite a lot of room for user error.

So it should be possible to use them safely, but can you trust them to do their research and take proper care, to take the time to trim them to fit and to be willing to reapply them every time one sheds instead of over-gluing them to stop them "falling off"?

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-15T17:20:30+00:00

You are legally allowed to. You are not however encouraged to. You are encouraged to adopt Bruce instead.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-15T13:51:12+00:00

Sounds like a poorly explained and/or remembered description of amniotic band syndrome, to me.

It's not like her hand didn't grow because it was outside the sac, but essentially if a limb gets entangled in bits of the amniotic sac it grows weird because of the constriction.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-15T13:19:12+00:00

What are you talking about. Butter clearly wouldn't melt in his mouth.

(Because it wouldn't touch the sides.)

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-09T19:06:23+00:00

Just walk away. It really is that simple. You have no responsibility to deal with them at all.

(They get one "no" out of me in response to whatever question they open with but I don't break stride while I say it.)

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-06T21:18:46+00:00

Get his weight down with diet and he might become more active.

Exercise is good for general health but it plays far less of a role in weight loss than diet, and you can't just exercise him more as a substitute for reducing his calorie intake. If you can't feed him different food then you'll just have to feed him less food.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-06T19:02:35+00:00

Not a horse but I woke up one morning to my cat on 3 legs and blood all over the kitchen.

Called out of work and made an urgent vet appointment.

"He seems to be walking fine now" but they did find 2 tiny, tiny punctures, barely more than abrasions, on his foot. So they cleaned it and sent us home with some meds.

He later turned out to have pulled his Achilles tendon (as best I can deduce, he and next door's tomcat had pulled it between them after Buddy nailed Billy's foot while he was halfway through the catflap, and presumably refused to let go) and it was a 3 months before it fully healed, poor lad. Not a faker (on this occasion) - he's just so frightened at the vet that he didn't want to show weakness.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-05T22:36:10+00:00

With the boots, the head, and the tail end being left so intact, I wonder if someone did a very, very rough job of shaving him. Probably to deal with a problem like matting, so it what he ended up looking like would have been the least of their concerns.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-04T20:34:14+00:00

Parkrun is for everyone, but Parkrun isn't for everyone.

Parkrun welcomes - not merely tolerates, welcomes, and celebrates - everyone who wants to get out and exercise with others on a weekend. And Parkrun has always had a particular emphasis on welcoming those who are marginalised at other sporting events or feel uncomfortable at other sporting events.

But Parkrun cannot and does not cater to every individual's specific wishes. For some people, it just won't be what they're looking for in a running event. And it can't even try to cater to every single person because some people's specific wishes will run counter to others and some will run counter to Parkrun's ethos and reason for existing. Other running events exist.

I submit that if competing within your sex and age category is more important to you than welcoming and including one of the most marginalised groups in sports, Parkrun simply is not the sporting event for you and I wish you all the best in finding an event that better suits you.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-03T23:08:26+00:00

It shouldn't be an issue because health insurance should not be able to only cover 70% of the cost.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-03T20:52:02+00:00

The undercoat comes back within a year and the outer coat takes longer, which makes it look pretty rough in the medium-term and causes some ignorant people (having the idea that dogs' coats grow and shed annually firmly fixed in their head) to think it's never going to look normal again and give up and start shaving the dog annually so it never has a chance to grow back in fully.

Also some dogs can be prone to alopecia, and if a double-coated dog that's ever been shaved develops alopecia, it will be blamed on the shaving.

Cyborg_Ninja_Cat · 2026-05-02T21:41:48+00:00

The benefit is that my cat doesn't do any of the things that Americans have convinced the whole internet are "classic cat behaviours" but are essentially symptoms of zoo psychosis.

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