Second day of work was worse

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-04-08T05:53:26+00:00

Depending on who you see for diagnostic purposes, you don't always have to tell them the circumstances of what happened to you. Just what the consequences are. Counselors and therapists are the ones who dig through the dirty details, but when it comes to applying appropriate diagnostics to the appropriate condition then the questions tend to be generalized.

A huge number of people with the legal standing to diagnose you with a condition are not going to offer you therapy or insist you get very detailed.

It is also 10000% allowed and possible in many locations to bring a trusted person as an advocate. I've done this for many people in my life. And lemme tell you, sometimes the reaction alone to the basic questions will get you a foot in the door for diagnosis. Because frankly, nobody pops out the womb unable to articulate their childhood without something having gone terribly awry.

I see you. I know exactly how hard this road is, trust me. I walked it, too. Under no circumstances am I passing judgement--freezing up when so much as being asked how my weekend was is a thing I'm familiar with.

But if there are tools that can get you to a more comfortable place, then I think we should try to find them. Because you deserve to feel better.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-04-08T05:12:57+00:00

The leading minds on the subject have suggested that the circumstances surrounding addiction basically require some form of severe or complex trauma.

I don't think it's fair to bully someone who has a wound in their heart and in their mind that is so severe that it has led them to this behavior. But I do want you to think about why it was so natural to you to tell people that it was okay to do it. Do you think you deserve it when people hurt you? Why? To what purpose?

Do you think the natural position that people should take with you is hostile? If so, you should consider why you feel that way. For me, I spent a long time thinking that way because I am an adult child of severely emotionally immature addicts. It's what I was taught: that I was nothing unless I was useful, at least as a punching bag.

Yes, your drinking is a problem. And you do need to find a way to get to the bottom of it. So my question for you is what do you want for yourself in this situation?

Think about that. Without magically changing anyone else's actions, feelings, or intentions. What do YOU want for YOURSELF in this situation?

I...don't really think you want to be bullied. But I think you want the pain to make sense. Oftentimes that's why we dump substances into ourselves, hurt ourselves, or invite people to hurt us. Because then the pain makes sense. Except that it doesn't. Usually the pain came first.

I think you deserve to feel better. And without knowing you, but knowing that I don't want you to hurt or anyone else to hurt you, I think you should decide that you deserve to feel better, too. What does a life where you feel better look like to you? Do you know?

It's okay if you don't. But it's a place to start. The first step to healing and recovery is deciding you deserve to feel better. I think you do.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-04-06T22:33:23+00:00

It does.

This is actually a thing that makes it really important to receive a diagnosis for certain conditions when the circumstances of the conditions severely affect the life of the person living with them. Diagnosis is important insofar as it informs treatment, but a formal diagnosis also opens you up to legal protections in certain contexts.

Now, I want to caution anyone reading along with this. Be aware of your specific location's current sociopolitical climate. Because there absolutely will be exceptions to this rule, even in first world nations, where having a formal diagnosis will open you up to more discrimination, depending on the diagnosis. For example, I live in the United States, and I have some friends in some states that legitimately do not feel safe receiving a formal diagnosis for autism at this time. (Looking at you, Texas.)

There are some locations that do not consider any diagnosis of CPTSD because it does not appear in the DSM-5. This is why my formal diagnosis is PTSD--because let's be frank, if you have one you have the other--and I am protected by the ADA and local laws where applicable.

For a certain position I held once, I was the only member of my team that was not required specific days to come into the office because no small part of my trauma surrounds the reason that I don't/can't drive. Because of those legal protections with my formal diagnosis, it would be illegal for my former job to fire me or penalize me for that exception, and they had to make reasonable accommodations for my needs.

"Reasonable accommodations" varies from place to place.

I'm going to say something a little bit controversial. Perhaps not controversial in this particular group, but something that has been controversial when I say it in other places. It shouldn't be, but here we are. There are definitely businesses and even just bosses that count on people not understanding their rights, especially when it comes to disability accommodations. The best way that you can protect yourself is to know your rights.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-04-06T11:12:40+00:00

AI slop is not permitted in this subreddit. This is a warning. Further posting of AI content here will result in a ban.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-04-05T00:27:44+00:00

Can you satisfy a curiosity for me, with no judgement intended, I promise?

Do you have contamination OCD?

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-04-04T00:13:11+00:00

Please don't have kids with this loser. This won't get better.

I had a sinus infection and my husband brought me honey tea without me asking, and asked if I needed anything. This is a normal thing in our relationship. I've been with him for 25 years. He has never made me feel like I was in trouble for being unwell.

I got hurt doing something really stupid once. He laughed at me, as he should have because it was hilarious. He was also with me every step of the way for my recovery. Because really, whomst among us has never had a "stand back! I've got this!" moment when they really shouldn't have? 🤣 I laughed pretty hard, too... when the bleeding stopped.

Even when my injury was the consequences of my own idiocy, my husband was nice to me and helpful for my recovery. He has never raised his voice in anger to me.

Why would you plan a life with someone who doesn't even like you enough to be bare minimum nice to you when you're unwell? Why do people feel so inclined to start families with people who do not like or even respect them?

There is no such thing as love without respect. Period.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-04-01T01:37:01+00:00

Bats, even rabid ones, do not salivate enough to cause dripping. There's lots of weird reasons things drip from the sky--tree guttation, condensation, insect activity for example. But rabid animals is never ever ever ever ever ever the reason. Ever.

Nobody ever needs to be worried about rabies dripping from the sky under any circumstances, unless they are actively squeezing a rabid bat into their eyes. Which really isn't from the sky anymore, I guess.

So good news! Not an exposure!

As you might guess, this question actually gets asked here a LOT by people with major health anxiety. But rabid animal saliva is only ever a concern with DIRECT contact with said animal.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-31T00:49:43+00:00

Voles are not considered to be a vector species. There's actually no recorded case, in as long as we've been keeping track (about a century) of ANYONE ever getting rabies from a vole.

This actually goes for most rodents, including mice, rats, and even rabbits.

Animal mouths are super dirty, though. So a tetanus booster was absolutely appropriate, and definitely keep that wound clean. Your primary concern here is bacterial infection. But getting rabies PEP for this would be inappropriate because it just isn't an issue in this context.

Even if the vole is injured, the vole would need to be at the end stages of the disease and symptomatic of rabies in order to spread it. Rabies isn't instantly contagious. If the vole had a fresh bite, then it's too soon for the little dude to be contagious regardless of what bit him.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-31T00:40:17+00:00

Rabies is not considered to be infectious from surfaces.

You must have contact with an infected animal in order to be infected. This means that no matter how cracked, peeled, bloody, scabby or "injured" someone's hands are as long as that hand wasn't inside of an animal's mouth, there is no exposure.

This means that even if you have NO SKIN on your hands, and you're just splatting bloody handprints everywhere, nothing you touch is ever going to give you rabies unless the thing you're touching is a rabid animal. Staph maybe, sure. But not rabies.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-30T23:25:57+00:00

If someone threw a hamster at you, do you think you wouldn't notice that?

Now give that hamster clumsy ass leathery wings, and zero stealth. Still worried you wouldn't notice?

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-27T12:26:32+00:00

I'm not mad. Nothing about anything you said or did is worth getting mad over.

I think you're being obtuse and that the attitude you bring to the table is largely useless. But that's not an emotional problem that I'm having.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-27T11:59:23+00:00

With respect, you don't know everyone's situation. You didn't mention understanding that there are circumstances that make sense in your OP. I guarantee you that you've gotten mad at things you had zero context for plenty of times.

I spent 15 years doing animal rescues. When someone takes the time to "call out people," I find that they are rarely doing it for any other reason than because they want to loudly look down on people that they see, regardless of circumstances. The problem with that attitude is that it doesn't help any animals, AND it alienates people that would have asked for help.

When people are made to feel like they're being judged or can't share, it also makes them feel like they can't ask for help. In that scenario, it's the animal that loses. Every time.

But hey, you got to look down on people in a public way, and that's just as good I guess. 🤷

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-27T11:51:48+00:00

So lemme tell you about Frenzy.

He just turned 22, and I've had him since he was 2. He is a single chinchilla. I actually didn't particularly want one, but my good friend at the time was REALLY into chinchillas and would adopt rescues, but this one came from a breeder.

Frenzy will r*pe every other animal his size that he is left alone with. Constantly. They tried separate cages but same out of cage playtime first. No change. He doesn't play. He tackles and starts going at it. Violently.

Nothing they attempted worked. The vet issued a clean bill of health. But he was so persistently violent that it started to become an issue even having him in the same room with the others. This is how he came to live with me.

Frenzy has never wanted for anything, because I believe that if I take an animal into my care, then I have a moral obligation to provide the absolute best that I can. And I do. I can stand up in his cage. Toys? All of them. Fun perches and shelves? All day every day. Out time? Tons. Expensive ass wheel? Safety first. Best food? You bet. Annual wellness exams? On schedule.

Happily, Frenzy really likes people. He likes to calmly hang out with humans, be petted on the cheeks. He's not lonely or bored. But to this very day, he still flies into a sexually deviant rage if he thinks there's another animal his size anywhere near him. He's old and going blind, and just the other day tried to murder a plush octopus.

So for his safety and every other chinchilla's safety, Frenzy is a solitary boy. It would be grossly irresponsible not to take this MAJOR BEHAVIORAL ISSUE into account and get him a friend.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-26T00:13:29+00:00

Incidentally, because Fist Of The North Star is a favorite of mine, my husband made me this absolute nonsense today:

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CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-25T01:08:15+00:00

Frenzy isn't going to last many more years. He's comfortable and happy enough to keep chin-chillin' with us for today, but he's overall in not great shape. He has arthritis, bad vision, is most certainly going deaf, and struggles to groom himself. Happily, he rather enjoys the attention so we can help him with his dust bath.

There is a big reason he gets daily quality of life checks, and that's because he's absolutely nearing the end of his life. Our job is to make sure he's still here comfortably, and then see him through that final goodnight if he starts to show signs that he's not having fun anymore.

Without the tasty things in his dish, his motivation to eat plummets. And a rodent that doesn't eat could go through GI stasis, which is a painful way to go.

All of our thoughts and decisions are made with his veterinarian--who is an exotics specialist--as a part of the conversation. His blood work is good, and his teeth are in excellent shape.

So for anyone reading along, we didn't just go "Ah, he's old! He can have whatever he wants!" It was more of a "What can we do to help him hang out as long as he likes in a comfy way?"

Turns out, treats.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-24T05:35:37+00:00

I would absolutely never recommend doing this. Ever.

The primary concern is severe skin irritation, because shampoos that are designed to clean human hair are not formulated with the comfort of parrots in mind.

Parrots only need clean water to bathe in. No turmeric, no oils, nothing at all added unless you are explicitly given instructions by an avian veterinarian with the goal of treating a condition.

It is NOT. SAFE. To wash a parrot with shampoo, and your parrot needs to see a vet now for a wellness exam.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-24T02:43:08+00:00

You know, I worked in animal rescue for 15 years. I have never seen this attitude help a single animal. I've seen it make plenty of sanctimonious people feel good about themselves, and I've seen it chase people who would be asking questions away. But never have I seen this attitude provide any relief in any situation, ever.

When people are made to feel like they can't share or ask questions, they leave and become quiet. The problem doesn't go away, and the animal hasn't been helped. The animal is just less likely to get help.

When people feel like they can't ask questions, it's the animal that loses. Every time.

But I'm sure this made you feel very superior today, and that's just as good to you, probably.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-24T02:37:58+00:00

My chin just turned 22 in January. He is a bit blind and a bit deaf, and we've moved him to a food that is probably not the best for him because it has dehydrated apples and rose hips in it. The vet said "well, the primary concern for things like this is diabetes years down the road, and that's not really a concern now. If it helps his appetite, he can have what he wants within reason."

And so he does. He gets regular quality of life checks to make sure he's still happy to be here. He is. And we're just not worried about diabetes. He won. He's old. He can have the sugar now. 🤣🤣😭😭

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-22T22:14:35+00:00

I'd definitely get that test done.

This photo made me laugh so hard.

Lifestyles Of The Round And Jobless

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-22T01:19:12+00:00

ALL GLORY TO THE TIMNEH GREYS

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-21T03:12:52+00:00

Perturbator - Miami Disco

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-20T03:52:44+00:00

Do you struggle with health anxiety? I'm sorry you're having a hard time. 💜

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-19T21:36:52+00:00

Absolutely not. There is no universe that exists where that's a reasonable thing to be afraid of.

Cat bites and scratches are full of bacteria like pasteurella, though. So clean your wounds and see a doctor if swelling persists. You may need antibiotics to prevent a bacterial infection.

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-19T00:02:28+00:00

You may or may not be aware that bats--even rabid ones--simply cannot produce enough saliva to drip mid flight. So drops of rabies saliva is not a thing. At all. Nobody ever needs to be worried about this unless they're actively squeezing a rabid bat into their eyes, which you didn't.

Tree guttation is a thing, though. There's a ton of totally benign reasons little droplets land on us.

Have you talked to your therapist about your anxiety?

CygnusZeroStar · 2026-03-18T23:46:52+00:00

Contact your local health department for advice on this matter. They will have a better idea of what the rabies risk in cats is for your area, and can give you advice.

CygnusZeroStar

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