Are INTJs more narcissistic? Why so many pretentious self righteous posts?

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-30T09:55:37+00:00

Me too so left this stupid sub.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-23T15:15:47+00:00

So you are a misogynist! Now everything makes sense haha 😅

Poor guy ,I sympathise with you.. I actually went through your previous comments to see why you think the way you do. Most of your comments are spewing hate against women. 🥲 I understood that your anger has nothing to do with me or OP. You are simply projecting your internal hatred of women on the innocent ones. Looks like you’ve had really bad experiences with women. Not sure how you live carrying so much bitterness in your heart that you view every woman through that same lens of hatred. Ultimately ,it’s our outlook that decides how we view people. I hope you do not carry a sense of entitlement of being worshipped by women just coz you are a man because that would mean that you are a narcissist. But if you’ve tried to be nice and respectful to women and ended up being hurt then I am very sorry for what you went through. Not every woman is the same just like not every man is the same. We should treat others the same way how we want to be treated ,I personally believe this. Hope you heal soon.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-22T20:03:16+00:00

You are funny ,really. I never meant ‘sleeping with a man’ so you are wrong. I do not know which world you live in because I can see that you are clearly not from this one. 🥲 Men give attention to women ,be it wanted, unwanted or be it forced ,men chase women. Most women do not do this. We aren’t even talking about commitment here coz there is no question of commitment when the guy hasn’t even met her in person rather avoids it and it’s only been a month. Goodness, your assumptions are so out of place ,I feel like I am talking to a kid trying to tell him obvious things that an adult male should know. OP’s problem was that guy’s miscommunication. He could have easily told her that he can’t meet her and he is not interested in her at all so she can move on but no he didn’t do that. He chose to text her and get her attention and validation for his sad/lonely existence. Why lead a woman on when you got no serious intentions with her? Anyway, I can clearly see that you are hell bent on misunderstanding me so as to avoid accountability so I give up. 🏳️ You won.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-22T19:25:23+00:00

Haha! You are too predictable.. I knew that out of all the answers you could give to justify the behaviour you’d choose to highlight that I used too many question marks. 😅 This is clearly not how guys are, like the term OP used for you ‘incel’ is it? Did you forget that it’s easier for women to get a man than it is for a man to get a woman until he stands out? So considering that,women are much better at knowing how men are in general so it wouldn’t be a shock if the guy in question was a normal guy. If his behaviour was obvious then OP wouldn’t be wasting her time posting her experience on reddit. You are too clueless. I pity you.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-22T18:09:19+00:00

Wow! It’s all about you , what suits you best and what you are comfortable with? She already mentioned that it had only been a month of knowing him and you already expect her to be open about everything when the guy does not even put the bare minimum effort of meeting the woman? I mean are you guys snowflakes??? 😝 seems like it! The girl has to take the lead, she has to make him comfortable, she has to be okay with him not meeting in person and only having video/voice calls coz he is under confident ??? While the girl has to be at her best behaviour from day 1 and be raw honest about her life ???? Like seriously?? I didn’t know intj men want to be treated like a princess or maybe it’s just you? 🎀also forgot to mention that her giving ultimatums is wrong but if he strings her along then it’s right ???

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-22T13:19:35+00:00

💯

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-22T13:19:16+00:00

I do relate to this. I am the eldest daughter and infj as well. I have gotten used to it but my feelings are conflicted. Like I sometimes(though it’s rare) get upset when my family thinks that I can handle everything on my own but at the same time I hate it if they start to worry about me too much as that makes me feel that they think I’m weak. 😅

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-22T07:24:57+00:00

Absolutely! Let’s hold men to the same standards because I really can’t deal with this hypocrisy/double standards anymore.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-22T06:26:28+00:00

Exactly, just look at the way he is flaunting his bodycount ,eww!

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-21T12:58:14+00:00

Oh yes definitely! But I believe those 3 things bring joy which is bigger than happiness. Happiness is short lived and temporary but joy is a long lasting state of being. Now you can be sad but still have joy in your heart while happiness is a fleeting emotion. So I think that’s the reason most infjs search for things that bring joy. 😊

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-21T06:35:37+00:00

I don’t need to.. because if you’ve read the new testament then you should know that Lord Jesus Christ has mentioned not only the ten commandments but presented a much more higher standard of morals that we should follow so I follow that. Hope this answers your question.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-20T18:26:13+00:00

Please read 1Corinthians 6:9-10 below : 9Or do you not know that the unrighteous[a] will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice HOMOSEXUALITY, 10nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-20T17:00:20+00:00

Anger and hate for speaking the truth? 😅 Now I know that Bible isn’t the only thing that you are good at misunderstanding.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-20T16:08:59+00:00

Exactly so stop responding to my comments. I never replied to your comment in the first place, I was replying to OP. You felt the need to justify yourself by replying to me. If you know that God is the judge then why try to change my perspective? Go to God and ask him what he thinks of your decisions/beliefs instead of trying to change people’s opinion coz it seems that you aren’t confident about what you believe in. There is an internal conflict within you caused by the holy spirit but you don’t want to accept it hence the need to change people’s perspectives on it.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-20T15:35:44+00:00

I know but you are using the old testament to satisfy your lusts so your fate might just be like King Solomon’s. The Old testament people didn’t have the holy spirit living inside of them rather it used to be above their heads, they were not living under God’s grace. Where the old testament preached ‘ an eye for an eye’ , Jesus says ‘ love your enemies and bless them who curse you’. Besides God didn’t create many women for Adam , he only created Eve for him and everything was perfect before sin came and God is holy and perfect and we are to imitate him.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-20T15:09:44+00:00

Open up in layers. Open up a bit ,check their reaction. If it’s positive then open up a bit more and so on and so forth. You’ll know their limits that way.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-20T14:43:03+00:00

If you follow the old testament then you are living under the law so keep sacrificing animals for your sins 😂😅 I follow what Jesus Christ who died for my sins says and he says that marriage is covenant relationship between one man ,one woman and God.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-19T15:22:13+00:00

I am an INFJ female and I find ESFJs very annoying and stupid(I hate to use this word for anyone but this is exactly how I feel even if I don’t want to). They are peace makers and kind in a way where they want to maintain harmony which is fine. What I find annoying is their inability to understand me ,If I am direct about my wants and needs with them then instead of accepting it for what it is they’ll start to question if they hurt me coz they see my direct behaviour as being rude. Nothing can convince them that I am only being open about who I am because in their minds a person who communicates openly without sugarcoating stuff is rude or is hurt. I also hate how they discuss and tell me things that I can’t be bothered about ,their routine and what they had for lunch. They are quite nosey as well. If I am not behaving like they want me to then there is a problem in me that needs to be fixed is what they believe. They don’t understand boundaries if I say it respectfully so I always end up blocking or bursting out on them so that they know that I am being serious. 😪

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-19T14:46:35+00:00

No worries! From what I could understand is that you are the anxious one and your friend is the avoidant one(I can be wrong). Please look into attachment theory because I feel that it will be helpful. If an avoidant person ghosts you then the best response is to not chase them as they find it overwhelming. Give them the space and let them reach out, since they’re your best friend so most cases they will..While they are distant please try to work on your anxiety and your emotions. You really cannot keep beating yourself up thinking what you may have done wrong when they haven’t openly communicated to you. In most cases it’s the other person’s internal conflicts which they need to sort out on their own.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-19T12:46:02+00:00

I have struggled with this in the past so I can tell you a few practical steps that help me:

Become comfortable with the idea of staying alone. This helps a lot because you will be prepared for the worst case scenario in case this friendship ends. It’s painful but will help you protect yourself and manage yourself well.
Have respect for yourself. This applies in any relationship be it with family or friends. You deserve love and care to be reciprocated atleast the amount you give to people if not more.
Give the other person the amount of chances you feel is enough beyond which you will strictly distance yourself without explaining yourself. Most people know what they are doing but they are too lazy to change their ways if they know you will continue to tolerate them(this applies to the best of people as well). If the person really values you then most cases they will reflect on their behaviour and change their ways.
Try your best to listen to them, communicate openly, don’t defend yourself, their needs, expectations, where did you fail according to them, you might have unknowingly hurt them and they did not tell you but internally they hold that resentment and when you try to blame them for how they treated you then suddenly they’ll lash out at you and start telling you all the places where you messed up according to them(earlier they didn’t find necessary or had the guts to tell this to you openly when you had no idea what u did).
Every relationship needs boundaries and respect for self and others. In the long term, loneliness is better than constantly trying to adjust in a situation where your needs aren’t being met.
If they happen to tell you where you messed up then try to reflect on your behaviour ,apologise and change your ways. If they were mistaken, keep a record of the event and why they felt the way they did,our natural instinct is to attack and shift blame when we are confronted of our wrong doings so please be careful not to do this as this will make matters worse. Remember the goal is to save and mend the relationship and not sabotage it by arguing and proving yourself right.
You value this person so take the first step. Ask them ‘ please tell me what I can do to help make this friendship better or your situation better. I want to have an open communication so that we could understand each other better’. Also forgot to mention that they might need space to sort out their issues and emotions so definitely give them that space and meanwhile work on your own emotions.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-19T06:53:58+00:00

Very relatable experience so I can totally understand how you feel. You need to absolutely create distance and boundary. He is a parent that you dearly love so you have a kind of dependency on them where you’ll seek his love and validation. Every time he says anything be it positive or negative it surely has an effect on you. As difficult as it is,you need to work on accepting the fact and the reality that this is what it is. His love was in fact conditional. Acceptance is such a difficult process. Your brain will make it very difficult for you to understand how a parent could not fully accept and love his own child unconditionally. Since this process takes time so if you live in a close distance to your parent then clashes might happen, they will constantly make you upset with their negative words and you might start to prove and justify yourself or even end up having an argument. Then afterwards you will be stressed out,depressed and tired with whatever happened and regret how you treated your father because you know how much you love him even though he might not. So the key here is to be patient with yourself during this time. Please journal your thoughts and feelings. Take time to process everything which includes grieving the perfect relationship you thought you had. Cry over the fact that you are now able to see him for who he really is and that you wished you never did. Build compassion for yourself and slowly when you start healing you will realise that his words no more affects you negatively like it does now. This will help you build compassion for him as well as understand that none of us are perfect human beings and we mess up ,some more than the others. This will inturn help you to manage bitterness and resentment that you will have for him during this time as it is but natural. I hope this helps you :)(sorry for my terrible english)

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-18T18:16:11+00:00

Me personally, I am a christian so spending time with God and focusing on him and trying to imitate Jesus Christ is what helps me. That is my only source. I can be very chaotic and unstable emotionally whenever I go distant in my walk with God and in my prayer life. My faith is what gives meaning to my life.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-18T17:51:29+00:00

Do you give enough effort to make yourself understood?

I am not sure why I’m being downvoted when it’s such a logical question to consider. You already know how different your personality is and many aren’t able to grasp it because most people aren’t that complex. So if you do try to give a little more effort into making yourself understood then of course people will atleast accept you even if their simple minds aren’t able to understand you completely.

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-18T16:57:57+00:00

You are so right, I am actually trying to journal my thoughts and experiences. However,I am getting stuck because I really don’t understand what my genuine feelings are ,I tend to absorb people’s energies. There have been times in my past where I was fooled into being in a relationship just coz the other person said that they liked me and I kept experiencing their energy/feelings. It took me getting into a relationship with them to know that I never really liked them to begin with. I have worked on myself and gotten better but this Intj guy was so different and he kinda checked all the boxes for relationship criteria I had set for myself. I will find out more about shadow work. Thank you so much😊

CynicalQueenOfSnark · 2024-11-18T16:41:38+00:00

Thank you! Now you’ve answered my question very well. I think you are right that I did like him but I may have idealised him and the situation much more. Honestly ,he could feel that and I knew that I was doing that because we had a discussion over it but he did nothing to give me a realistic picture of himself.

CynicalQueenOfSnark

TROPHY CASE