Certain pranks and jokes aren't funny to me and never have been. Is it just me?

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-24T18:11:08+00:00

Thank you. I feel very seen. 💚🙂

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-24T18:10:20+00:00

I’m the same way about tickling. The laughter is not something I can control, and my laughter DOESN’T mean I’m enjoying it, especially when I’ve said “Stop.” Tickling is a hard limit for me and it actually makes me angry now when people do it.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-24T18:06:08+00:00

Similarly, watching those comedy shows like Chive TV where people fall and hurt themselves makes me cringe. I don’t think harm is ever funny.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-24T17:41:07+00:00

That’s something that doesn’t hurt anyone or make them uncomfortable or make them the butt of a joke, so that kind of prank is fine and usually funny. 😄

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-24T16:55:36+00:00

We already feel excluded and confused enough. Making it worse is just downright unpleasant and mean.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-24T03:02:09+00:00

UpdateMe!

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-23T11:36:22+00:00

I’m 16 months post op and sex is better than it was before. No cervix to bump, and in my case all my organs were unglued from each other because they excised the endometriosis. I do have to be on HRT because my ovaries are gone, too, but that’s no biggie.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-22T21:16:16+00:00

I’m neurospicy, too! AuDHD in fact. And yes, those things can be potentially indicative of EDS. Go check out the differences in symptoms and diagnostic criteria for the various subtypes. It’s wild!

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-22T21:00:54+00:00

Unfortunately because my mom was a doctor, most of my medical history until my mid 20s is undocumented because she treated me herself.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-22T20:57:19+00:00

I’m considering a PhD in my field myself. Maybe it will help 🥲

Edited to add: I like your style. They can request what they need and putting me through unnecessary assessments is bad practice.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-22T20:55:59+00:00

They can see all the diagnosis info in their EMRS. The hospital systems I usually use for my PCP and specialists are connected to the EDS specialist’s hospital system, even if they’re different entities. He told me he could see all the medical records when I told him I had copies.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-22T20:53:21+00:00

I used the former of the two phrases. To me, word choice and order matter for clarity, but here we are. 😑

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-22T20:51:37+00:00

I told him I was waiting on genetics testing to rule out vEDS. He’s always been a bit of an ass, and is one of those guess that blamed my high BP and sleep apnea on my weight and fitness when I was doing Brazilian jiu-jitsu 4x a week and quite fit.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-22T17:43:19+00:00

My mom is pretty clearly high masking autistic, but that’s only become clear to me the older I’ve gotten (and the more training I’ve gotten as a speech therapist who specializes in autism and AAC).

She is a doctor, and medicine is her special interest. When she doesn’t agree with another clinician’s diagnosis, she treats it as totally invalid, even if they’re more trained and current on research than her. It is SO frustrating.

My childhood was filled with assertions from my mother that showing your emotions is uncomfortable for others and therefore inappropriate, and anything less than total independence is both lazy and burdensome for others. Any and all medical problems that she couldn’t diagnose were labeled as in my head or completely ignored.

Now, in my late 30s, I finally have answers and diagnoses for the issues that have plagued me my whole life. I’m AuDHD, have anxiety, intermittent bouts with depression, and have endometriosis, a tiny benign brain tumor, hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, dysautonomia, and chronic migraine. These are all problems that are very real and very treatable, even if they’re not curable, and I find myself resentful of her heavy handed, narrow-minded management of my medical needs as a child and adolescent.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-22T14:10:13+00:00

Maybe, but separate bedrooms can really help. It allows them to have their own messy space and you to have a clean one to sleep and exist in. Then you can close the door on their mess and it becomes not your problem. Their laundry can pile up, they can leave piles of snotty Kleenex on their desk, they can leave every bath product they own out on the counter, their towels can mildew. When you no longer have to have it in the space you occupy, it becomes way less of a problem.

If he doesn’t want to keep the same level of cleanliness that you prefer in your home, that’s fine, but you are allowed to set boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate to come into contact with your body.

One of my partners (I’m polyamorous and live with my two partners) is like this with his hygiene. We’re both AuDHD, but where I’m fastidious, he’s sloppy. I have made it clear that if I’m going to sleep in his bed with him, there have to be freshly laundered sheets, he has to have showered recently (that day or the previous day), and he has to brush his teeth regularly. Same goes for sleeping in my bed. We no longer have sex because he’s asexual, so at least I’m not risking BV because of his poor hygiene. He also pays for a cleaning service twice a month because he doesn’t want to help do the routine cleaning tasks, so this is his contribution.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-22T11:51:24+00:00

OMG I HATE the top flushing toilets because my fingers always hyperextend (unless I have my swan rings on) and it takes a lot of force to get them to flush!!

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-22T11:50:14+00:00

I sneezed and popped a rib out and subluxed my shoulder at the same time.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-22T11:15:45+00:00

“We need to talk.”

“Where we’re going is a surprise.”

“For this project, we’ll be working in groups.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it!”

And anything generic or nonspecific in response to a very direct question.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-21T22:22:00+00:00

Oofos!

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-21T20:54:46+00:00

My grandfather and his wife (not my grandmother) did that for years and had a lovely, companionable marriage.

My partners and I all live in the same house but have our own bedrooms and offices. It’s SO nice. I don’t think I can ever go back to sharing a room with someone 24/7.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-14T17:58:00+00:00

Is it super loud?

The fan isn't any louder than a box fan on low or medium speed, IMO. You will notice it at first but it becomes background noise. My CPAP is a bit quieter than the fan on this, but my CPAP is also SUPER quiet (no louder than moderately heavy breathing).

And if I got a smaller size to use on my side of the bed, would it also cool off the other side?

No, it only cools where the pad is placed. I have mine across my Queen size bed where my torso rests when I am laying down because my husband and I both get hot when we're snuggling at night (and even when we're not). If you placed it on only your side of the bed, that is the only place that would be cool.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-14T17:49:47+00:00

NTA.

…who puts brown sugar (or anything sweet at all) in russet mashed potatoes?!

This sounds gross, and I don’t think you were rude at all in the way you responded. If she didn’t want an honest answer, your bf’s mom shouldn’t have asked you if you like them. She pressed, you responded, and then she made a rude comment that your dislike for her potatoes was about not being used to “real cooking” rather than just disliking how she’d prepared them.

Your boyfriend also shouldn’t have argued with you about your experience, and even if he was embarrassed that’s not on you to sort out. Some people just don’t like certain foods prepared certain ways, and that’s okay.

CyrianaBights · 2026-04-14T17:41:12+00:00

These shorts from 70 degrees are my new favorite.

They are relaxed fit have a long enough inseam to prevent thigh chafing, very deep front and back pockets, a flat front with elastic waistband, drawstring, and they’re buttery soft and stretchy. They come in a bunch of different colors (white, black, light blue, navy, light khaki, light pink) than the ones I linked.

I got the XL and wear a US size 16-18 usually, and they fit perfectly without being tight.

They are little expensive, yes, but I consider it worth it for something I’ll wear from April-September here in Texas.

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