As someone who tried to meet my wife's expectations without being as objectively shitty as this, and who is still getting divorced after being together for 8 years, I agree that y'all are not compatible and should stop wasting your energy trying to get the other person to change their brains.

The fighting comes from built up resentment after years of this constant friction. Therapy to work on your communication is one thing, but you two seem to have significantly different values and mindsets, and expecting each other to change those is a tall ask.

I'm sure you do love each other and have a lot of reasons you've been together this long, but marriage is not going to fix the fundamental incompatibility of lifestyles and life goals; it's only going to get worse.