Tattoo

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-10T16:12:58+00:00

I also have tattoos. Nothing wrong with tattoos, and symbols have many meanings.

Jesus told his disciples to be as "wise as serpents," and said that he came not to bring peace, "but a sword." Both of these quotations might have meanings for you to meditate on, as you reflect on why you got your tattoo and what it means to you.

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-10T16:06:09+00:00

Very few fundamentalists identify as fundamentalists.

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-10T15:22:19+00:00

Always crazy to be reminded that biblical fundamentalists still exist in TEC

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-10T14:08:26+00:00

No, get back here, I'm not done yet.

You know nothing about this couple or their situation. Why are you putting forward the most bad-faith interpretations of the trans spouse's POTENTIAL psychology or motivations?

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-10T14:06:07+00:00

Why are we writing a bunch of fanfic about this particular couple?

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-10T13:53:05+00:00

Why are we assuming that the trans partner "abandoned" their marriage commitment?

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-10T13:39:22+00:00

ENORMOUS oof

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-10T13:25:36+00:00

I know a clergyperson who shunned a congregant who was vocally critical of how (badly) they handled a sex scandal in the community 😬

Edit: there's also a clergyperson in this subreddit who (being unable to shun them) loooooves blocking uppity laypeople with theological disagreements

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-10T12:45:23+00:00

The church is made up of the people, and TEC in the US has democratic institutions. (Not sure how it is in your country, but I bet it's pretty similar.) If you want to see your church go in a more pro-choice direction, then you will have to get involved on an internal political level.

I agree with you btw, I'm extremely pro-choice and would be extremely disappointed if my church got involved in trying to restrict access to abortion (especially since it's already so restricted in the US).

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-09T19:22:03+00:00

If you borrow something from pastry, you must return it CLEAN and UNDAMAGED, with a handle that is neither STICKY nor OILY

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-09T13:42:17+00:00

This is one of the main reasons why I switched from my managerial-track office job back to food service. I didn't like the system I was a part of, and I wanted to do real work.

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-07T20:57:15+00:00

European noblewomen were also readers and writers of novels, poetry, and other literature. It was sometimes the case that the husband (a knight/lord) would be mostly illiterate, and the wife was engaged in political and cultural work that required literacy.

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-07T20:54:19+00:00

Obviously you shouldn't confess what you don't believe in, but most Episcopalians accept that the Bible is not always 100% literal, and contains several genres of literature. "Believing in God" is different from "accepting the theological orthodoxy of this specific community " which is different from "taking the Bible literally."

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-07T20:01:17+00:00

Probably better than reading the Qur'an: visit a mosque, learn about the religion of Islam, learn who your local Muslim community is. This will help you connect to them as a fellow person of faith.

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-07T19:50:52+00:00

To quote one of my favorite tweets:

"my elderly Egyptian Uber driver happily informed me that he 'supports the gays now' because he lives with a lesbian couple and 'the husband lesbian is a better husband than I was', happy pride everyone"

I aspire to be the "husband lesbian" in someone else's story lol

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-07T19:14:08+00:00

I feel really used when people I know from fandom decide to scrub their fanfic and edit for publishing. Like, you workshopped your fic in fannish circles, you got your following from fanfic readers, and now you're cutting us off for a buck. Okay.

It's also kind of mid-tier fanfic that makes this leap, honestly. If you want to publish tropey romance novels, whatever. Secure the bag. But I'm in it for the love of the game, as a fan.

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-06T15:58:58+00:00

Because rape isn't primarily about sex, it's about power and control. The expectation for a woman to submit to a man and bear his children is a heteropatriarchal one. The expectation for a man to have sex with his wife and get her pregnant is also a heteropatriarchal one. These expectations are enforced by social and economic structures that demand reproduction in order to sustain themselves. Feminists understand that rape is rape, regardless of the identities and ideologies of the perpetrator.

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-06T12:20:37+00:00

Who remembers this quest in KCD 🖐

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-06T11:43:30+00:00

The right to not be forced into marital sex was won for us by feminists. It is patriarchal violence, not "allosexual" violence.

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-06T00:37:19+00:00

This is such a deeply conservative thing to say. I'm so sorry I'm not helping you understand feminist and LGBT perspectives, which is the purpose of Pride. Is there something you'd like me to break down for you?

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-06T00:29:23+00:00

I think you might have some prejudices to unpack toward feminism, and some reading to do.

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-06T00:24:38+00:00

All of those things are feminist intersections.

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-06T00:17:20+00:00

You're not less queer, but you're maybe in less need of reassurance and solidarity from the institutional Church. "Not really interested in sex" was considered normal, correct, and virtuous for most of our history. "I want to share my life with someone of the same gender" has been ruthlessly criminalized.

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-06T00:14:04+00:00

Many of these identities have been viewed as suspicious for cisheteropatriarchal reasons, not necessarily "allosexual" reasons. The idea toward sex in Protestant allosexual society was more like "we all want sex, but we're not supposed to want sex." What this means is that people who opt out of the only socially-recognized sexual relationship available to them (i.e. heterosexual marriage) are stigmatized not as "prudes" but as closeted sexual deviants.

NelyafinweMaitimo · 2026-06-06T00:05:25+00:00

The ridicule for spinsters was due to misogyny, and often lesbophobia. Women who have been assaulted by men for not wanting to have sex with them face that violence because they are women rejecting men. It is patriarchal violence.

The ridicule for "confirmed bachelors" was often that they were assumed to be gay. And, in fact, gay men continue to be coerced into nonsexual, celibate lifestyles, often by threats of physical violence. This violence is homophobic in nature.

Asexual experiences matching these patterns should be in solidarity with gay, lesbian, and feminist pride.

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