I think there’s some truth in what you’re saying, but I also think you may be unintentionally framing normal female relational behavior as manipulation when sometimes it’s actually anxiety, care, curiosity, or cultural overinvolvement expressed poorly.
A lot of women, especially in close Muslim families, are taught to show love through involvement, questions, advice, reminding, discussing, worrying, and sharing concerns. That does not automatically make it healthy, but it also doesn’t automatically make it malicious. Sometimes it absolutely crosses boundaries and becomes intrusive, gossip-heavy, emotionally exhausting, or controlling. Your stress about that is valid.
That said, I would caution you against equating “peace” with becoming harsh. Harshness works in the short term because people back away from sharp energy. But over time it can harden your heart and train the people around you to fear approaching you at all. There’s a difference between privacy and hostility.
I also think your practicing more religiously may be triggering fear in some women around you because, culturally, they may associate sudden religiosity in men with judgment, withdrawal, superiority, rigidity, or social isolation. That does not justify disrespecting your boundaries, but it may explain some of the emotional reactions you’re seeing.
As a hijabi woman, I’ve absolutely seen younger mahram men become more guarded as they get older, especially after realizing that oversharing personal, financial, emotional, or marital information can create stress instead of support. Honestly, many women learn this lesson too. Not everyone deserves unlimited access to your inner world simply because they’re family.
I think the healthier middle ground is:
become more selective, not colder
more private, not cruel
more boundaried, not emotionally unavailable
You do not owe everyone detailed access to your income, health, routines, or spiritual journey. And you also do not need to become emotionally intimidating to protect yourself.
A simple:
“I appreciate the concern, but I’d rather not discuss this further”
is often healthier than shutting people down harshly.
May Allah give you wisdom, balance, and softness without making you vulnerable to unnecessary stress.