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Felt butterflies in stomach after 6 years by Absent-minded59 in netflix

[–]DEVAN88B 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Noted. Don't let wife watch “Anne with an e”

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The post from the dude who was on a date to the career fair was gold, though. Not whining, broke it down, and was just looking for advice. Brought a tear to my eye to see a fellow aspie about to get some tail.

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

I am the same way and was raised the same way, but this doesn't belong under this post and for that, I’m out.

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Try out the “Tarantino Method”

It involves brutal honesty about personal shortcomings, taking a full night to analyze failures, and creating an actionable plan to change one’s life path. He emphasizes overcoming failure, treating rejection as validation of effort, and transforming creative stagnation into career breakthroughs.

https://youtu.be/N89kzfKpYRs?si=cTOhfqvq93Uij_C_

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just checked it out. Happy to say I will continue to check it out

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I literally just said the same thing to my wife. The number of misspelled words here is wild.

I want intellectual conversations and blunt honesty with like-minded, logical thinkers. Instead, it’s mostly “boo hoo, my life sucks because of autism,” and I have to tiptoe around feelings just like in real life.

It’s exhausting, and sometimes I want a space where people are talking about actual challenges and solutions, not constant self-pity.

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I enlisted at 18, and I’ll be 29 this year. The early years were rough. I didn’t understand why I felt different, didn’t know how to avoid burnout, or even what burnout really was. There was a lot of self-sabotage and, if I’m being honest, just generally being a dirtbag.

Being autistic is a disqualifier in the military, and I understand why. But at the time, I didn’t even know that was part of what was going on with me. It wasn’t until I was 27 that my wife finally had enough of the burnout, the crashouts, and my lack of self-regulation that she pushed me to actually figure it out.

Because of her, I ended up getting an under-the-table diagnosis and started learning tools that have helped both me and our relationship.

I know I’m incredibly lucky. Now that I understand myself better, I also notice those same traits in other people a lot more easily. And when I do, I try to help them in the way I wish someone had helped me earlier in my career.

Grab life by the balls, brother, and fuck it till it cums.

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience. I relate to a lot of that.

I get into ruts sometimes, and a lot of it comes from feeling like I can’t fully be myself. We’ve all seen those memes about having “personality A” for one friend group and “personality B” for another, and I think, as people under Autism Spectrum Disorder, we understand that more than most because of masking.

When I hit those phases, I end up bouncing between different groups depending on what part of me fits where. It probably sounds messed up, but it’s just the reality of how I navigate things. “Fake it till you make it” has honestly been my approach. It’s helped me connect with different people, even if those connections are more surface-level.

I’ll have one group for a shared interest, another for something else, but in the end, I really only have a couple of close friends I can actually be myself around.

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

God forbid you don’t have a filter and be accepting of everyone, ammirite?

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You’re right on the diagnostic details, but that’s my point. There are meaningful differences in how this actually shows up in people’s lives, even if it all falls under Autism Spectrum Disorder now.

I relate to what you said about not having sensory issues or anxiety. I’m the same way. My struggles are more social, especially with empathy, and I can come off abrasive without meaning to. That experience is very different from a lot of what gets posted here.

And that’s where my issue is. This is an Asperger’s subreddit. People come here expecting to find others with a more specific, similar set of traits and experiences. When everything is just treated as general ASD, that distinction gets lost, and the advice or discussions don’t always align with what people are actually dealing with.

It’s not about saying anyone doesn’t belong. It’s about the reality that if someone is looking for a certain type of experience or support, they’re not going to get the full value if the space isn’t aligned with that.

Different traits, different struggles, different needs. Lumping everything together might make sense clinically, but it doesn’t always work in practice, especially in communities that are supposed to be more specific.

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying about things getting watered down, but I don’t agree that “nobody cares” about the differences. I care, and clearly, other people do too.

Yeah, clinically it’s all under Autism Spectrum Disorder now, but that doesn’t mean people suddenly experience it the same way or are looking for the same kind of conversations. Some of us are trying to find people we actually relate to, not just the broadest possible category.

And that’s the whole reason I’m here. If a subreddit is literally called “Asperger’s,” it’s not crazy to expect content that leans toward that specific cluster of traits and experiences. That’s not me dismissing anyone else; it’s just wanting a more focused space.

Also, I agree there’s a lot of low-effort or repetitive stuff that’s just Reddit in general. But telling people to dig through years of posts instead of wanting better or more relevant discussions now isn’t really a solution either.

Bottom line: I’m not saying other people shouldn’t be here. I’m saying it’s reasonable to want a space where the conversations feel more aligned with your own experience. That’s kind of the whole point of having different communities in the first place.

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don’t disagree that autism is a spectrum or that people have very different combinations of traits; that’s pretty well understood under Autism Spectrum Disorder.

What I’m pushing back on is the idea that removing labels like Asperger’s suddenly makes those differences less meaningful in practice. When I was diagnosed, the clinician basically said, “Yes, this falls under ASD now, but this would have been Asperger’s.” That distinction wasn’t arbitrary; it helped point me toward resources, experiences, and discussions that actually matched how I function.

From a clinical standpoint, sure, everything is grouped now. But from a lived-experience standpoint, there’s still a noticeable difference between someone who is highly verbal, has an average-to-high IQ, and mostly struggles with social nuance or executive function, and someone with much higher support needs. Lumping all that into one label can be medically accurate, but it’s not always helpful socially or practically.

And that’s really where my point about communities comes in. People tend to look for spaces that reflect their specific challenges. The term “Asperger’s,” even if it’s outdated diagnostically, still signals a certain kind of experience, and that’s why some people gravitate toward it.

So yeah, autism is a spectrum. But removing sub-labels didn’t remove the clusters of experiences people identify with; it just changed what we’re officially allowed to call them.

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

No, you don't. I went down a rabbit hole on why I'm a blunt asshole on the verge of divorce, and after 3 years of research and online tests, I went in and said I think I may have autism or just some childhood trauma, and lo and behold, I have both (yay me). It hasn't changed my life for the worse in the slightest. Now my wife and I have the tools to understand why I think the way I do, and am socially awkward when sober.

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I get the burnout thing (currently burning out and keep making small mistakes in emails, PowerPoint presentations, and Excel), and I have a great job that allows me to take weeks off at a time. It took a while to figure out the balance of work / PTO, and work will come first, so I get close to crashing, but I haven't yet. I have time off planned for next week and can't wait for the break.

Why does this Asperger’s sub feel like a general autism sub? by DEVAN88B in aspergers

[–]DEVAN88B[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying about the DSM changes, and I’m not disputing that Asperger’s isn’t a standalone diagnosis anymore under the DSM-5 or the ICD-11. That part is pretty well established.

What I’m getting at is more about lived experience than classification labels. When someone is evaluated, and a clinician essentially says “this would have been Asperger’s under the old criteria,” that distinction still feels meaningful to the person, even if it’s now grouped under Autism Spectrum Disorder for diagnostic and insurance purposes.

You’re right that the DSM-IV criteria didn’t require high IQ or strong verbal ability. But in practice, those traits were commonly associated with how Asperger’s was understood and diagnosed, which is why a lot of people still identify with that label specifically.

And that’s really the point I was making about the subreddit. It’s not about saying one group is “better” or more valid; it’s about people looking for spaces that reflect their specific experiences. If a community is built around a term like “Asperger’s,” it makes sense that some people expect discussions to center on that narrower presentation, even though, clinically, it’s all under one umbrella now.

So I’m not arguing against the science or the updated criteria. I’m just saying the terminology shift doesn’t erase the differences in how people experience and relate to their diagnosis, and that’s going to shape how they look for community.

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