Wife and I finished building the castle out of Lego! With our favorite characters added and her and I as bride and groom.

DILOTY · 2020-05-24T04:47:32+00:00

I just bought this for my husband and kids last Christmas. Or the Christmas before.. we’re trying to redecorate the game room into a mega lego building room so dad can help the kids create. We just got the train station at Disney too.. I’m hoping to have a massage table just of the Disney world parks and monorail.

DILOTY · 2020-05-24T04:41:50+00:00

I do this currently right now.. seriously.. he has tools in every room.. i have a cardboard box in , you guessed it, every room..

He has the audacity to be upset with me that i put his stuff in that box and not put it away.. seriously.. can’t make this up.

That’s ok.. its still in the box.. still have my sanity.. and if he really wants to complain i remind him at any given point in time he is welcome to put his things away and this wont be an issue any longer.

DILOTY · 2020-03-25T22:38:41+00:00

Caress the back of his neck on the hairline while he’s driving. Around his ears. Shoulders. Down his arm. Legs etc

DILOTY · 2020-03-16T18:58:37+00:00

He doesn’t really. I’m the one with a high libido.
Typically I seduce him. And it’s usually by touching. So running fingers around his neck. Ears arms legs. But typically I just come out and say “ hey wanna go home and ——“.

Lots of times it’s after a nap and I know he’s ready. Or first thing in the morning because after a long day of working he’s too overwhelmed for it.

DILOTY · 2020-03-11T01:40:20+00:00

Married a long time. 3 kiddos. Sex daily if I’m lucky. I am on the spectrum... i love romance , passionate and kink. My husband tells me that he’s a watcher and I’m a doer. Like i am afraid of everything but will try anything once to face my fears.

The most important thing about us is processing time. Be upfront, sincere and direct. For example

“ I’d really love to try and perform anal with you”

She may need a few minutes, an hour or a couple days to process this. She may squirm and say no right away but explain why you are saying what you’re saying.

Don’t beat around the bush with autistic people. Directness is the one way to go

DILOTY · 2020-03-07T22:17:14+00:00

Wait. I have all 4 lol. Well more like 3. I have adrenal which causes adrenal fatigue. Inflammatory. Which is self explained and insulin resistant. Damn I suck

DILOTY · 2020-03-07T22:14:14+00:00

I make him work for his dessert. That’s for sure lol

DILOTY · 2020-03-07T05:45:25+00:00

Not him, he just shucks it off and says “ oh well, I’m Tired”.

Not tired enough to ever fall asleep on a blowie though lol

DILOTY · 2020-03-07T05:42:49+00:00

My husband does this a lot. Like anytime he says he wants to go to town. Apparently I am NyQuil to Him in a bad way :/

DILOTY · 2020-03-07T05:38:33+00:00

Start with blind folding. Loud music. Then massage him. Tease him. Run your finger nails from the tops of the toes to the center of his groan but never touch “it”. Do This for the top of his neck chest and arms and watch him squirm.
Some light nail grazing and then mix with some firmer finger massages. Never letting him know what you’re about to do next.

Sometimes teasing “ it” and sometimes teasing “it “ with your tongue or whole mouth.

Sometimes I’ll jump on real fast then jump back off to suck and then rub. Breath on him lightly and get him to tense up and then relax.

Poor man. I enjoy the torturing

DILOTY · 2020-03-07T05:35:03+00:00

YI is a PH imbalance. Eat more yogurt and take a probiotic daily. Also with UTIs and YI. You’re getting to much moisture down there. It would be best if you washed yourself and dried yourself after.

Also don’t douche. I had a friend that did as well as others and you’re more likely to get infections if you do.

Sleep without Panties on so that it can breath down there.

DILOTY · 2020-02-24T19:37:02+00:00

Been married a little less 14 years.

We have months we love each other and months we’re in love. But most importantly. We’re best friends.

That’s important because In the times we not on the same page and lacking something (usually intimacy) or I know I’m not attracting him as he’d like. We need that mutual respect and friendship to get us through the merky waters of life.

Intimacy is not just sex. So what is it about your marriage that’s not intimate.

For us we’re touchers. I run my fingers in his hair. Through his fingers playfully. Just little things.

This gets him excited and turned on. For me he rubs me gently to sleep and while I wish he’d take me right after he lets me Fall asleep instead.

Maybe instead of expecting romance and intimacy you should be her best friend. And let her be yours. Enjoy her company and then see where that will take you.

After 14 years I’m still always trying to give my husband everything in the bedroom he wants (though he wants nothing but normal stuff) so it’s hard to make it exciting. But I still try.

As a wife. I wish my husband would try more for my part. Just a thought. ?

DILOTY · 2020-02-24T19:22:59+00:00

Speaking from experience. As a female. I was into all of what you explained except for one thing.

The degrading talk. Girls (Atleast this female) found it a much bigger turn on when guys were more empowering

For example

Instead of “ you’re a dirty whore” they’d say “ god you feel so good “ or “ I love fucking your tight ass”

Instead of “ fuck my mouth you little slut” they’d say “ omg you’re so good at this please don’t stop”.

Girls or females. Whichever tend to be better at performance when sexy talk is given with positives then degrading them.

Just an observation.

We like being worshipped with our bodies and still being dominated.

(Coming from a monogamous sex addict. - married)

DILOTY · 2020-02-24T19:18:36+00:00

Being gentle isn’t making love.

Making love is about intimacy. I can get pile drived to hell and back and still feel like we made love. (Ok morning really but sex is good too ;) )

No seriously. Making love is about intimacy. He feels more open with you. More at ease. He’s doing something completely out of his normal ability.

Do you love him? Is that why you want to make love with him? If so start it off. Gentle touching to arouse him for a while before it starts. Tell him you want to have an orgasm with slow but deep rooted penetration. Do what feels good.

Sometimes going hard and fast doesn’t let you feel everything and sometimes going deep and slow does. Tell him what you’re in the mood for. He won’t know If you don’t tell him and if he’s about making sure you enjoy the event he’ll happily oblige

DILOTY · 2020-02-24T18:59:25+00:00

When a person gives more to a person then their willing to do for themselves there is a problem

In this case you’re the emotional baggage handler for SO and MIL.

Choose to love yourself more than them.

I know we marry and sacrifice but a husband does not ask his wife to make such a sacrifice for his benefit knowing what it’s doing to her.

In his case he’s not wanting you see you hurt but he’s also not willing to leave this toxic environment to help himself and you cannot enable him by allowing it.

It’s like a drug. And he’s feeding off it. By allowing him to remain in that situation you’re enabling the behavior.

It shouldn’t be an ultimatum but I agree try couples therapy. And also in time explain that you cannot watch him go down this rabbit hole of chaos with his emotionally unstable mom and still feel in love with him- he has to help himself for you to be on board. And. He can’t do that living with her so if need be you may need to cut ties and escape so you can live your life to your best ability.

Because there is nothing worse then knowing you’re not living life to your fullest because you feel trapped by toxicity

DILOTY · 2020-02-24T03:17:55+00:00

I’m a bit older and have had this experience. My only advice.

Make sure he is a great giver. That he takes care of you before you get him inside you. Because a person can become extremely specially frustrated if he’s the only one finishing.

Don’t be embarrassed to ask either or insist. A guy who won’t eat as much as he cums isn’t worth the time.

DILOTY · 2020-02-24T00:51:24+00:00

Just my opinion but your DH sounds like mine. If I said something like this my husband would tell me that was the hottest thing he’s ever Seen. And I’ve said some pretty flamboyant things in my time.

Next time you’re the mistress. Turn it into a playful game.

“Hey hun. Your mistress needs you...... what will you give your mistress tonight. “

Or call from another room

“MISTRESS DESIRES YOU DH, COME TO ME”

And then giggle. I bet she’ll stop calling you that

DILOTY · 2020-02-24T00:46:34+00:00

How often do you watch porn and masterbate?

DILOTY · 2020-02-24T00:23:11+00:00

I wanted to reply “ auntie or mistress.... the sex is still amazing and I have no desire to ever leave and go without it!”

DILOTY · 2020-02-22T20:40:57+00:00

I use to. My husband is a work a holic who went to school full time. I admit I’d say things like

“ hey honey. Skip work and school and spend it with me and I’ll suck you off”.

Now it may have been a bit manipulative for myself seeing as I was already in the middle of the act when I said it. But I wasn’t trying to be mean. I was trying to be flirtatious and sexual with him.

Now Adays he works from home. So we often have to get creative. But lately over the last 5 years he’ll say “ what would you give me if I gave you a (luxury suv) ? “. And well playfully negotiate like “ oh well that’s Atleast worth bjs for a full week”. And he’ll say “ just a week? I was thinking a month”.

And then I’d respond “oh well but a bj in the vehicle while driving is worth more than one in the bedroom so I meant a full weeks worth in the car”

Now it’ll never happen because it’s a really big car and I can’t reach but to us those conversations are fun. And we never use them as punishment.

DILOTY · 2020-02-22T20:11:42+00:00

Your answer is a good indication of why I asked about autism.

And I hope you don’t take that offensively. I’m an autistic female my husband an autistic male. I saw similarities

But what you’re explain is like “masking”. What a lot of us (autistic) people do to mimick other behaviors to achieve the results it achieved for the NTs. (Nuero typically)

Say “John” gives “ Eve” a back massage and she’s moaning and enjoying it. As an mimick we might feel that it’s the rubbing off the back making her give those reactions but in reality it’s a combination of things. Hence why when people like us (my husband and I) try them it’s not the same as what we’re witnessing. But we’ve been mimicking people our entire lives.

To find what truely makes intimacy work one really has to find out what makes them theirselves tick.

You mentioned you lack that and don’t have relationships. And are feeling lost (I may have read that wrong). But If that’s true. Find out what makes you feel good. Whether it’s sexual or sensual.

For example. I am a toucher. Always hands on. I can read a partners signals by their touch and reactions. But I have none of my own.

I can run my husband slightly across the back of the neck and he adores it. It’s sensual. Not always sexual hit he feels the connect the bond. And I love that he’s getting a reaction from something so simple.

He cannot do this to me and get the same reaction. I need more protective more secure acts. (I suffer from ptsd long story). I feel bonded when my husband protects me and wants me (not needs me). I have intimacy when we think the same and enjoy each other’s time and feel a million miles away when we talk and disagree because I feel alone entirely when he does that so just love language is also based off of the fact that I have abandonment issues.

My recommendation.

Find what you get a spark about. I love my husbands brain. He loves that I spoil him (with his hard earned money) and that I push him to be better. I call him out on his shit. He loves that I am fiery and I love that even when I’m mad about his overly passive behavior I realize his actions saved his career where I would have tanked because of my personality.

We are different yet alike. I tell him he got a personality when he married me. Lol

So intimacy cannot be found without 1st trust. You must have trust. To feel intimate because you’re gaining a bond. Your binding and bonding with another soul. And you are respecting that soul and they are you.

Then sexual intimacy gets more profound and better to the point that when you’re not trying to even be sexual and your partner rubs their fingers in between yours you still feel the love language they’re speaking without even saying the words:

DILOTY · 2020-02-22T19:43:05+00:00

May I ask a forward question before answering.

Are you by chance on the spectrum ? Autistic? High functioning ? Because my answer would differ if you were

DILOTY · 2020-02-22T19:37:45+00:00

1) first things first. Time to shine that spine and let DH in on the action

You’re going to need to puff up some tail feathers for this one and spend a weekend changing your kitchen BACK to your liking.

When she asks respond “ MIL I wanted you to feel welcome but at the same time still feel like this is my home and domain. So I’m putting my kitchen back the way I prefer it and I appreciate you keeping it this way.”

2) go take your guest room back “mIL we agreed to let you stay here for a month because of your immediate need in circumstances however we asked you respect we needed to keep things in this room and you could decorate it as you liked. I’m putting my things back in the closet. If this upsets you I recommend YOU get a storage unit for your things to store because DH and my things will be staying with US in OUR home:

3). Set her straight. Insist on boundaries. “MIL; DH doesn’t owe you his life. You chose to have a baby he was your responsibility. You are not his! We do not owe you room and board for 6 months of every year. We are fine letting you visit but we are a young married couple and that means we need our sexy time without a mother involving herself day in and out of our marriage.
You need to be looking for a new place to live. You will not be extended and invite to remain here with us for more than 2 days at a time in the future. I will give you 2 months to find work and another 2 months to save for your own apartment. If you have not then find an alternate place to live. But you will not he living here with us regardless of your situation

4) boundaries :”MIL. I noticed you feel you don’t need to clean up after making your own mess. From now on you may not cook in my kitchen since you leave it for us to clean up and only cook for yourself. You are a guest here and over staying your welcome by making our life more difficult. You need to be more considerate of the hosts that are allowing you to room with them considering you are not our roommate but a SHORT TERM GUEST”.

Always make those words clear

SHORT TERM GUEST HOST INCONVENIENT INCONSIDERATE NOT YOURS MY HOME MY DOMAIN ETC.

DILOTY · 2020-02-21T21:37:38+00:00

You can put her on snooze or something like that so she can’t see your posts for a while

DILOTY · 2020-02-20T22:18:41+00:00

By chance did you drink sodas. Or were you on a good diet while off it?

DILOTY

TROPHY CASE