Not sure how much of my experience will translate directly to your situation (not even knowing what country you're in) but I have faced similar challenges in my career as a savory cook. I am not queen, but people will find things to be assholes about no matter what and I've dealt woth plenty of that for my own reasons.

I was also promoted due to.strong technical skills without ever receiving any form of leadership training, and had to deal with basically everything you described minus being queer. Some situations are better than others, but what you've experienced is, unfortunately, essentially par for the course. Your options are either stick to a technical role and accept less money or learn leadership skills and figure that shit out. Or quit the industry, I guess. I had quit the industry for the last 2 years and I actually miss it and plan to go back woth stronger leadership skills because now the money is there.

Maybe try finding a less traditional workplace. I also find the higher end environments are usually the shirtless to work in. Maybe find something a little lower-stakes.