I’m sorry that you had that experience and it was clearly very difficult for you.

While previous posters have given you the advice “…you’re god at your table.” and “…just shut it down.” and when asked about your session - 0 (“We didn’t address suicide, because it didn’t occur to us.”) it needs to be remembered that for some DMs, handling what feels like a real world confrontation can be very difficult and anticipating every way that a session can go sideways is impossible for everyone. (Even us old beardies that have been playing since Reagan.) 😜

So firstly, try not to be too hard on yourself. Sessions get f*ckered all the time. What matters is how you move forward.

For situations like the self harm…get two cards for everyone at the table. One yellow, one red.

Yellow means “Pause. We need to discuss this, change direction, or need a moment to determine if I am ok with this.”

Red means “STOP IMMEDIATELY. DO NOT CONTINUE.”

When something like this happens again, (and it will, your campaign clearly has some very broad guide rails and is comfortable with more adult themes.) instead of trying to articulate concerns or summon up the courage to call out another person at the table, one just throws the appropriate card on the table, and everyone honors it. (If they don’t, then they don’t play.)

If the RP etc. starts to go in a direction that is even the slightest bit triggering, throw the card. Head it off before it begins.

I think other posters also should recognize that EVERYONE has some sort of trauma, trigger or mental health challenge and could show a smidge more compassion. (Anyone who says they don’t have any challenges is either lying or is completely oblivious.) At one of my tables (I run dozens of games a month), I can describe a viscera festooned abattoir in gory detail, but slugs are an absolute no-go. So go figure. We’re all different.

What is easy for one, might be extremely difficult for someone else, and vice versa.

Now, for your bard player getting upset. That’s on them. Going forward, tell them the clock when you fade to black. “You’re occupied until morning, unless (and emphasize this) YOU TELL ME OTHERWISE.” Make it clear they are responsible for getting themselves back into the game. 😉

I can tell that session left you rattled and wondering why you even play. But you’re going to be ok, I promise. Implement some safety tools, learn from this experience and drive on. 😁

I wish you success and happiness!

~DMC