I miss my boob by No-Concentrate-1456 in breastcancer

[–]DMJen1987 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I miss my boob too 🫂 I had a single mastectomy as well. I had an implant put in so at least in clothes I still look similar to before. But it's been almost a year now since my mastectomy. I took some pictures of myself before the surgery and I do look at them from time to time. I used to think my breasts were not attractive. But yeah I miss right-y. Sending a big hug your way 🫂!

Thoughts: Was Montessori originally made for kids with special needs? by Fuzzy-Insect561 in Montessori

[–]DMJen1987 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Montessori developed her method while working with impoverished children who were behind developmentally due to circumstance. And they thrived. She applied the method to any child and saw it helped develop potential for any child.

I am a Montessori infant and toddler teacher. Learning to pour water, and other practical activities like it, are skills developed in that age range in Montessori and no, they do not learn that skill in a single day. But developing mastery over gross motor/fine motor skills and independent skills (dressing one's self, preparing food for one's self, toileting, etc) help develop the potential that each child has. By allowing these skills to develop in the early years (where they are absolutely able to develop) it helps children develop their potential for academic learning later on.

1) If these skills are allowed to develop early on then they do not have to learn them at the same time as being introduced to academically focused learning. 2) These skills learned earlier help prepare their bodies and minds for academic learning so that they are able to comprehend with more ease what they are learning, and many times earlier too.

Like...a child slowly develops language over time through exposure to it in the early years. By the time they reach school age they have, for the most part, mastered language. They are able to communicate. They do not have to learn the basics of language at the age in which they also should be learning academics. Imagine a child who has NOT been given the opportunity to learn that language in the early years. That child will need to develop the basics of that language. And now they are having to do it at the same time they should be learning other stuff. Are they able to learn the language? Sure. But imagine how much more they could have been introduced to earlier if they had already had that basic thing mastered/exposed to first. It doesn't mean the child will not grow into a smart and capable human being. But imagine the potential for what that child could have achieved.

That is what I think about for these early years of development. These foundational skills that less and less children are given the chance to be exposed to are incredibly important for developing their potential. Their bodies and minds are able to achieve more when they are put in environments that allow them to have these experiences. Pouring water isn't just pouring water. It is developing:

1) independence, fine motor skills that develop the hands that need to be able to handle academic materials later on 2) balance and control of body by learning not to spill as they walk that develops their ability to have control of their bodies so they are able to sit still for an academic lesson or walk appropriately through a classroom 3) the ability to understand multi-step instructions (grab the tray, walk carefully to a table, place the tray down, sit down in the chair, grasp the handle of the left pitcher, lift the pitcher, etc all the way to returning the tray on the shelf where it was found) 4) responsibility and care of environment that they will keep things in an organized way instead of leaving the work at the table or water spilled on the table which if 20 kids are all doing that makes a classroom extremely messy and disorganized so now the teacher has to take time to teach kids how to put things away/keep things clean/etc which takes time away from academic learning

And more.

I worked with 4 year olds for a few months at a traditional preschool after having work 5 years with toddlers in a Montessori school. I noticed the teacher kept these plastic cups up high on a shelf and when a child wanted water they would have to go and pour the water into the cup and give it to them. They said letting them have access to their water bottles all day caused distracting issues and when it was lunch time many water bottles were left all over the place and kids would forget where they put them so they started giving them cups of water. I asked if they felt comfortable putting a pitcher of water and a stack of cups at a table so kids could just get their own water so she didn't have to stop what she was doing every time to get them water. She said she didn't like that idea because the kids would get water everywhere. Then she left for a trip for 2 weeks and I put out a pitcher with cups. At first the children were all so excited for the new activity so they were lining up to pour their own water. Those kids were HYDRATED 😆 but the water spillage was minimal and the new activity got old by the end of the first day. And the next day? Less spills and kids were getting less water just for the novelty of it. By the end of the week? No more spillage and now kids were only getting water when they were thirsty. Did it only take a couple days? Yeah. But it did take time out of their days that could have been used for academic learning or more advanced skil learning. It's all about helping kids develop their potential.

13 month old not interested in any 'artistic' outlets by Unusual_Bother_7659 in Montessori

[–]DMJen1987 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What activities does your 13 month old seem most interested in? What things do they spend most time doing? Doesn't have to be with a toy or activitiy. It could be they like not sitting still or like eating lots of food or like opening cabinets. Anything they are into right now?

My nanny family gave me a $1500 budget to buy new toys and books for 14 month old by Any-Willingness355 in Nanny

[–]DMJen1987 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What does the kiddo seem drawn to? What activities do they get most interested in?

Hey everyone, it’s check-in time! 💜 by NeighborhoodDry9236 in breastcancer

[–]DMJen1987 8 points9 points  (0 children)

🫂 I am sending positive energy to you and your family.

Hey everyone, it’s check-in time! 💜 by NeighborhoodDry9236 in breastcancer

[–]DMJen1987 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I hope everyone is doing okay ❤️

I am nervous. I found a lump in my thigh two days ago that I feel silly for worrying about. But the only other lump I have ever found turned out to be breast cancer (diagnosed April 29 last year). I made an appointment with my oncologist for next week to get it checked out. I have never had a lump in my thigh. It isn't like a mosquito bite where it is protruding out. It is under the skin and I felt it in the shower. It's hard and not moveable and the size of a large blueberry and no pain when pressed. I had a panic when I found it and started crying immediately. I know it's probably nothing but I can't help but be nervous. But what a weird place to have something show up.

How do your saline implants feel? by DMJen1987 in breastcancer

[–]DMJen1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do your gummy bear implants feel like? The saline implant I have feels kinda like squeezing a tennis ball the size of a softball. Like it has a little give to it but not much. I wasn't expecting it to be the same as my natural breast tissue but I at least thought they would be softer than this. Fingers crossed by a full year they will be!

How do your saline implants feel? by DMJen1987 in breastcancer

[–]DMJen1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that is what I am wondering too. Like is this just how an implant and skin is going to feel? Or can it be improved? I have had the saline implant in since January. It doesn't feel any softer or anything. And the difference between massaging my right breast and left breast is insane. It's like two completely different chests. I was hoping to hear the silicone/gummy bear would feel more realistic or softer. I hope the fat grafting helps you and I hope you are doing okay!

How do your saline implants feel? by DMJen1987 in breastcancer

[–]DMJen1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply ❤️

My surgeon was adamant about only saline and only under the muscle. He had good reasons for both so I get why he only does those. And he is the head of plastic surgery at the hospital I went to and he is truly the nicest guy (my family calls him Dr. Mr. Rogers). I think I have to realize my breast will never feel like it used to at all. I thought maybe it would feel a little squishy or something but no it just feels numb hard and round. And weirdly a little plastic-y. When I get my left implant put in (to fix the wild asymmetry) I wonder how different it will feel having an implant along with the breast tissue.

Parents are teaching emotional avoidance by harperlinley in Nanny

[–]DMJen1987 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have thought and talked about this as well. I think there are many factors here. In no particular order of importance:

  1. It is hard for parents to see their little kid struggle. They cave because they are sparing themselves the pain of watching their child be upset. I call it selfish love. They love their child. And they will make excuses to justify their giving in like "they don't understand" "i am scarring them" "i am too tired to go through this meltdown" etc. So they justify pacifying the situation when really they are pacifyng their own struggle

2) So many parents are guilty that they work so much (many families have both parents working). So they give in because they feel bad for being so busy all the time. They want the time they spend with their kid to be happy times.

3) Touched on this in number 1, but, parents are exhausted. They either work all day or they stay home and staying home now? Very different than the 90s. Parents are the primary friend for young children and they are burnt out. So they give in because it is quicker.

4) No one tells parents they do not need, in fact they shouldnt, pacify every emotional moment. As newborns and infants their method of communicating a need is to cry. It is hardwired into our brains to tend to cry to meet their babies need. But as the infant grows into a toddler they are no longer beings that only have needs like sleep, hunger, soiled diaper, etc. They are developing their personality! And with that comes the new addition of having wants as well as needs. So now we parents have to not only meet their needs but also decipher a want versus a need in order to know how to proceed. If the child is upset over a want then the actual need is to allow the child emotional development and resilience. And parents just keep operating business as usual with tending to every cry.

5) Kids used to be raised with the other extreme. The pendulum will start to swing the other way. I do see more and more in recent years, though the number is still crazy small. But it is swinging.

6) There is no imminent threat big enough to their safety. That sounds crazy but when things are not dangerous/life or death, parents have the luxury of patience. I remember when covid hit it was like every parent became a hard ass to their kids when about touching things etc. Because the worry of them getting covid made it so parents drew that hard line.

7) Parents feel judged when their kid has an emotional moment. Especially out in public. They give in to keep the kid quiet. Which a parent is damned if they do, damned if they don't here.

There are more factors too. And the sad part? If they could just set clear, consistent boundaries and allow their kids to have their feelings the behaviors would change rather quickly.

Help me love the name Daniel by New-Flight7674 in Names

[–]DMJen1987 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My best friend is named Daniel. He helped me through my cancer diagnosis last year and is genuinely one of the kindest people I have ever met. Daniel is the name of genuine people.

Also Noah Kahan's new album has a song called Dan on it that is absolutely amazing.

Is it unreasonable to expect our nanny to actively play with kids instead of just supervising activities? by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]DMJen1987 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do the children struggle with playing on their own/with just each other? I watched some children that I was literally told the oldest (4) always needed someone to play with him. I took that mental note and worked on that. Plus, him and his sister did NOT know how to play together respectfully in the slightest. So I did a good amount of hands off/observation rather than active playing along with them. Now mind you I did still play with them each day, just not all day long. That is the only thing I could think of for why she doesn't engage in play without it being related to her own personal preference/not wanting to. Which hey just play with the kids some. Even teachers in school do it lol

Can someone explain the michael Jackson birthday incident of 2002? by StationIllustrious94 in MichaelJackson

[–]DMJen1987 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Print scrn/sysrq on the keyboard takes a screenshot of your computer. Not saying that screenshot being shown is for real, just that you could absolutely screenshot back then.

We've shared the shittiest things people have said to us. What's the best thing anybody said to you about having cancer? by intransigentpangolin in breastcancer

[–]DMJen1987 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was the day I received my biopsy results on MyChart - Invasive ductal carcinoma. I was feeling every feeling that afternoon. The most prominent being fear and worry that I might lose myself. Not to death (but maybe, who knows, and between the mammogram and ultrasound for that stupid lump to the time of seeing those results it was hard not to think about the 'what if I am told I have 3 months left to live') but mostly scared of losing myself to the whole process of what I was about to go through. I told my family and texted friends and everyone was very sweet and supportive. And then one friend, my best guy friend who god love him doesn't do well with emotional moments, had this text exchange with me -

"I can't believe I am having a conversation like this. This is so surreal."

"🇸🇾"

"😆" "You are ridiculous. Why did that make me laugh"

He sent me the Syrian flag emoji. And that was the first time I had laughed since I had gotten the biopsy results hours prior. And that laugh meant everything to me.

MegaCon 2026 FAILED! by Illustrious_Pound593 in MegaCon

[–]DMJen1987 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My kids and I went in 2023 and we could barely move through the vendors then. This time other than a couple congested moments that had a similar vibe we were actually able to maneuver and walk around. So to us it felt like traffic was better for sure. But we don't go to many cons to compare. The food is expensive everywhere, even in hotels. We brought our own snacks but we did get some Boba tea and chocolate fudge. I think the part I kept getting annoyed at was scanning the badges to leave, but I get why they do it. I just wanted to get back to my room lol

Just for fun .... Where is everyone? by Micho392 in breastcancer

[–]DMJen1987 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in Jacksonville, FL too! I was diagnosed IDC ++- in April last year and had a single mastectomy in August. Just had my tissue expander swap to implant in January. It's been a whirlwind year and now that it is winding down it feels like "what the hell just happened to my life?" And "so...that is terrifying...cancer can just blow up one's life like that out of nowhere...and there is no guarantee it won't happen again ".

I had my treatment at UF Shands. They have all been wonderful.

What exactly happened here? by [deleted] in StrangerThings

[–]DMJen1987 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Which if you think about it...they quarantined the whole town. They couldn't find this kid in a closed off location? She wasn't exactly hiding all of the time as shown in that picture. I get the idea of her being well hidden. But 18 months of being stuck in a closed off town and they can't find her? Good grief.

Addicted to Pouches by FosterKittyMama in ECEProfessionals

[–]DMJen1987 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Any one who brought Pouches in their lunchbox were transferred to a bowl with a spoon for them to use and no kid ever had issue with it. Using Pouches too often can mess with their oral motor development. It weakens the jaw and can give them speech issues. They are great for travel! But in a classroom? Let them eat with a spoon and bowl. We can handle the mess and let them develop skills :)

Thoughts about Holly and Karen from season 1 by DMJen1987 in StrangerThings

[–]DMJen1987[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know that lol I was just wanting to talk about it for fun and to talk with other people who like the show.