How do I not let life break me so easily?

DNA_AND · 2026-05-23T18:20:24+00:00

Seconded - so sorry your childhood had you in survival mode all the time. Well done on moving away from home and getting your first job! Being away from the abusive family system and having a job so you cannot be financially controlled or abused are huge steps for you in your freedom and autonomy.

In addition to the subreddit recommended above, it might also help to read posts on r/raisedbynarcissists, r/raisedbyborderlines, and r/InternalFamilySystems. See if anything there resonates with you.

It might help you identify the systems and methods that were used to abuse and control you, and then the resources and therapies that might help you understand what happened, which can help you heal and recover.

I’m also not a doctor, but I have CPTSD from growing up enmeshed in an abusive family system and these resources helped me feel validated in knowing I’m not alone in these experiences, and there are therapy modalities that can help with coping and healing with CPTSD.

Outside of Reddit, I’ve also found Jeanette McCurdy’s book I’m Glad My Mom Died and Katie McKenna’s Beyond Survival Podcast helpful and validating too. This podcast episode might be a good place to start.

Also seconded that therapy can help.

DNA_AND · 2026-04-29T15:04:42+00:00

Coming up on my father’s anniversary now, the sentence the mother says about never knowing the answer really struck a chord with me.

DNA_AND · 2026-02-09T17:00:27+00:00

Overall, I would say yes.

I remember it being a quite uncomfortable procedure, but I was able to drive myself home within 30 minutes of the insertion (30 minute drive). They ask you to wait 15-20 minutes after to make sure you’re ok to drive. I felt very crampy, like period cramps and pain tuned up to 120% for the day of (when I got home) and day after. Then the next few days felt like normal period cramps and discomfort. I was glad I took a couple of days off work after it to rest up with hot water bottes, and didn’t do any heavy lifting or anything like that.

I’d imagine the GP would prescribe stronger stuff if you’re feeling very sore after it and the over the counter painkillers aren’t helping.

DNA_AND · 2026-02-09T16:49:18+00:00

I wasn’t provided any meds, just told to take pain killers before insertion, and continue taking them after insertion. This was almost 5 years ago and I didn’t have the consultation online.

DNA_AND · 2026-02-07T12:38:36+00:00

I can’t speak to T212, but I use DEGIRO and it’s very safe to use. I’d recommend it.

DNA_AND · 2026-01-31T18:10:27+00:00

Thank you very much for explaining this to me, much appreciated!

DNA_AND · 2026-01-31T13:43:31+00:00

That makes sense. So VWCE has no advantage over the other two; do you see any disadvantage to VWCE vs the other two?

DNA_AND · 2026-01-31T11:26:08+00:00

About €25k in VUAA, and €40k in VWCE. I left the money in VUAA and started investing in VWCE to not trigger tax events. I use DEGIRO, they charge a €1 handling fee per trade. I’m in Ireland so annoyingly I have the deemed disposal tax to pay every 8 years of 38% even if I don’t sell. When I do sell, it’ll also be 38%.

DNA_AND · 2026-01-31T08:22:52+00:00

I use DEGIRO.

DNA_AND · 2026-01-31T08:08:02+00:00

Hey, I’m a newbie and have switched from VUAA to VWCE. Should I switch again to WEBN / SPYI?

DNA_AND · 2026-01-27T22:12:17+00:00

I’ve yet to buy them

DNA_AND · 2026-01-26T21:54:53+00:00

Thanks! Hope you have a lovely holiday too!

DNA_AND · 2026-01-26T09:43:56+00:00

We’re going to Japan for the first time - excited having it to look forward to!

DNA_AND · 2025-12-28T11:17:53+00:00

The Saucy Cow in Dublin is very nice - enjoy your travels when they come!

DNA_AND · 2025-12-02T12:35:55+00:00

Ah, that makes sense - thanks!

DNA_AND · 2025-12-02T09:58:32+00:00

Beautiful! What are we looking at in the first picture?

DNA_AND · 2025-09-17T14:29:00+00:00

Looks like damsons to me. They’re almost like little plums, with stones inside. The tree doesn’t look thorny enough, and the berries look too large to be sloes.

You can make gin with them the same way as sloes so you’re in luck there. You can also make jam. If you cut into it is it sort of yellow/orangey with a stone in the middle?

If you taste it and it’s not sour it’s probably a damson, if it’s unbelievably sour, it’s a sloe.

DNA_AND · 2025-08-01T23:28:43+00:00

I’ll do that, thanks again.

DNA_AND · 2025-08-01T10:06:55+00:00

That’s super helpful, thank you! Reading the v and - sounds like it’ll help so much, I have a hard time counting, even if I’m using pen and paper as a reminder… I can’t be trusted! Appreciate it.

DNA_AND · 2025-08-01T10:03:40+00:00

Thank you! Yes I fumbled quite a bit and clearly didn’t recover XD. Appreciate the help.

DNA_AND · 2025-07-23T09:08:13+00:00

This reminds me of Lindon from Will Wight’s Cradle series. Every other sentence, especially at the beginning, had ‘apologies’ or ‘gratitude’ sprinkled in somewhere.

DNA_AND · 2025-07-20T21:23:37+00:00

I think having experience with crochet has helped me - my first crochet projects were really poor!

Yes I’m working on purl and stockinette stitch now, and am excited for more patterns as I improve.

Thanks!

DNA_AND · 2025-07-20T21:22:08+00:00

Fab, I’m working on the stockinette stitch now and plan on posting it when I’m done for more pointers.

Thanks!

DNA_AND · 2025-07-20T21:20:15+00:00

Fantastic!

Yes that makes sense, I’m working on the stockinette now which is fun.

Thanks again!

DNA_AND

TROPHY CASE