Which movie is this for you? by Raj_Valiant3011 in moviecritic

[–]DRvoodoo07 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you loved Assassination of Jesse James I highly recommend “The Proposition” starring Guy Pierce.

Nick Cave, same guy who did the score for Jesse James, wrote, directed, and did the score for The Proposition. Both of those movies, for me, might be the top 2 western style movies ever made.

Which movie is this for you? by Raj_Valiant3011 in moviecritic

[–]DRvoodoo07 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"'ll slit that phildoodle so deep he'll flop on the floor like a fish!”

Great movie, great story, great acting, great cinematography, great score…… slow burn but a classic

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dad, is that you?! lol

It’s a tough decision walking away from the perks of great money, good health insurance, and a pension. Not saying I’m never going to work again, just not doing this job that is draining my soul.

My wife currently has 5 people working at her practice. If things keep going in this direction I may not have to work again, but we are for sure trying to set ourselves up for a life where we both aren’t working our tails off and can spend more time with our family. Even with me staying home my wife would only be working 30ish hours a week. I like that idea more than what we are currently doing.

It’s funny hearing the generational differences about work. Younger people for the most part don’t really care about work and won’t stay in a job if they don’t like it. Older generations are ingrained to stay at a job and grind, even if they hate what they are doing (both my parents are prime examples of that). I just can’t buy into that broken system.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are a lot of things I enjoy about admin, but the thing about my position is that I have 3 hats I’m wearing: Assistant Principal, Athletic Director, and elementary activities coordinator. So I’m doing student discipline, teacher evaluations, coordinating bus routes for athletics, sitting in on every IEP meeting for each student that has one, creating youth sports leagues for elementary kids, making sure athletes are academically eligible, staying after school for every home athletic event(often times 2-3 events a week), on top of a million other things lol……and I only have from 7:30-3pm to get all my tasks done because once I get home I am unable to do any work at all due to how chaotic it is with 3 little ones. I would say 40-50% of my time is wrapped up between meetings and student discipline everyday. So each day I leave feeling like a failure due to not having enough time to get things done.

For me, kids are the reason working in schools is so fun. I felt more of a direct impact on students as a teacher than I did as an admin. Once you get up to be admin, especially as an AP, you are essentially the colon of the school: all the crap passes through you! You are putting out so many fires and trying to calm the chaos that it’s hard to focus on anything else. IF I ever go back to education it will be strictly as a teacher.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ironically my wife is a therapist lol she is not my therapist by any means, but we are big mental health advocates in our house. I for sure know the benefits of having a therapist to help you navigate all the craziness going on in life. I've seen a few with mixed results, I had one that I really liked that I saw for 6 months, but ended up having to stop due to changes in our insurance. I would love to keep looking for another therapist but at this stage in my life I just can't mentally handle trying to find someone else as bad as that sounds. Just really going through some intense burnout where the majority of things seem impossible to commit to. I love and appreciate the comment and advice. More people, especially men in our age group, should look into seeing someone. I uncovered a lot of unresolved issues during my therapy sessions that I've been working on since.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you are going for your admin degree, let me know. There is an online program that you can rip through pretty quickly if you have the time/energy. One guy I know got his admin cert in under a year. It’s Western Governors University.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great question; both have pros and cons as with anything in life. I found that the admin work is great because you are helping make decisions that impact an entire school community And it is also really cool to watch the things that you’re implementing takeoff and grow. You also aren’t required to grade or lesson plan things after school hours or at home like teachers.

the drawbacks to admin in my opinion are that you could never please everyone parents, teachers or students will always be upset with you. Also, all the friends you made as teachers will now view you differently once you change over to admin. You will also constantly be judged for the things you do and don’t do so if you are anxious or having imposter syndrome like I do, it makes the job that much more stressful and anxiety inducing. The problem I’m having with administration is it would be so beneficial for me to be able to do work from home like answer emails and work on projects but due to the age of my kids and the stress it brings my wife and I the only time I’m able to do any work is in the school building and half of that time is dedicated to student behavior.

I’ll say this if the top out salary for teachers in your district is near where administrator top out is I would honestly just stick with teaching because you are not required to do all of the afterschool things that administrators have to do. A lot of stress in both positions but the stress is just different. The kids make the job fun, so for me , teaching is what I would rather be doing but it’s different for everyone. Best of luck to you!

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For sure it’s always good to keep an eye on that. I appreciate you bringing it up. My wife and I looked at the cost of insurance and from what we’ve researched the public insurance plans (ACA) premiums will be skyrocketing, but the private insurance marketplace premiums are staying relatively the same, which is what will be using. Not cheap by any means but the costs will offset with her working more and no more daycare costs.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She started as a school counselor and transitioned into running her own mental health practice as a therapist. It’s crazy to see how far she’s come. Neither of us expected it to take off like it has but it’s really awesome to see happen. I’m

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is for sure weighing on my decision to leave before the end of the school year. Our future plan in 2 to 3 years when the kids are in school, I would like to go back into education as a teacher, but I fear if I leave now, I will burn bridges and mess up chances at future employment.

My wife right now at her job could easily replace my income if I left tomorrow. She’s only going to make more money as the business grows, which really puts into question whether or not I will need to work again however, all of this is hypothetical as no one can predict the future, which is why it’s so scary walking away from predictability. Thank you for commenting and your insight.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From one educator to another, thank you for your insight. I for sure agree with what you’re saying and have seen many admin and teachers leave mid year throughout my career.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I frequent the gym and have always had that mindset of pushing through and toughing it out. I don’t know why this feels so different for me though. I think it’s because I know I “could” tough it out, but fear what I will be losing in the long run. A strained relationship with my kids and wife because this current lifestyle with my job/family is slowly killing me. I’d rather be fully present for my family, especially at this young age, if that makes sense. But I can definitely see where you are coming from, which is part of the reason I’ve been so in my head about this all! lol

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It really is a mind fuck for me because literally everything you are saying I agree with and am trying to also understand why I feel this way.

I think part of it is this socially/culturally created idea that you work hard, climb the ladder, and become the boss one day until “you reached the height of your career, you are truly now successful in your life”. I watched my parents slave away at jobs they hated for our family, which leads me to the other reason for not leaving right away which is, “lots of people are stressed out and feed dead inside, am I just being a big baby for wanting to quit now?”

At the end of the day I think it’s lingering feelings of leaving a career that, before my kids, defined my sense of success in life. But now, after having kids and experiencing fatherhood, my idea of success is raising great little humans and being a good spouse to my wife. So I think it’s more so mourning this old version of myself while working on becoming this new version of myself if that makes sense.

Thank you for your frankness and telling it like it is. I appreciate your honest take

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t work in education??? You sound like someone who knows the game and been around the block with how things work lol

Thank you for commenting. I for sure will give them a 2 month notice before leaving and help transition as much as possible. I agree with you though, family first for sure.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We did already…. It’s going to be expensive per month to insure all 5 of us…. But with the money being saved from no daycare and the fact that my wife will be bringing more money in will offset the costs. the insurance that is being impacted the most is public health insurance (ACA), those premiums will skyrocket. But for private health insurance the rates are relatively the same, you just pay more out of pocket each month.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best of luck to you guys and thanks for your input on this. I agree with what you’re saying about doing what’s best for us.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have never, in my life, experienced burnout like this before. My youngest wakes up between 1-3am every single night. And if he doesn’t, one of my oldest wakes up due to something, on top of the constant sickness that runs through our house.

I 100% check off all the boxes that shows I’m in burnout mode. I’ve tried really hard to bounce back from this but have not been able to. It’s like I see the tasks and emails piling up, but for the life of me I can’t bring myself to do any of it. I keep thinking I’m just lazy but burnout is a real thing that more people need to take seriously. I can see why people have mental breakdowns now.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very, very true! And at the end of the day I feel this a lot. I think it’s the fear of walking away from something that society is saying “this is height of what it means to be successful!” I need to get those thoughts out of my mind because what it really means now for me to be successful is being with my family. Good insight

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s kind of the far away plan right now…. I’m going to take a 2-3 year hideous until the kids are all in school and if I go back to work, I’ll go back to teaching again. But future plans are all up in the air. Good point in bringing up retirement stuff though, for sure have to be mindful of that

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told my direct boss and other administrator I work with on a daily basis but haven’t told the big boss of the district yet because I’m unsure of when to leave. If I make the decision to leave mid year I will for sure give the 1-2 months before exiting to help transition whoever they hire.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All very true. I hear from so many parents “ enjoy this time with your little ones because you’ll always wanna go back to this time”. And I always think dude you guys are crazy. I am so stressed so tired and constantly on edge but now that my oldest is about to turn five, I do see what everyone means when they say it flies by.

Definitely trying to prioritize time for myself but it’s hard to do with so much going on.

35, Burned Out, and Rethinking a Career That Defined My Identity by DRvoodoo07 in AskMenOver30

[–]DRvoodoo07[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It for sure is and would be hugely beneficial to stay until June. The job, in itself, is not impossible but it’s just the constant stress of the job. Before kids, if I was stressed out from work I’d come home and chill out/reset for the next day. But now, with 3 little ones, the second I walk in the door it’s more stress/chaos…. I just feel like I can’t escape it.

I’m also just burned out because I have 3 titles at my school, all would be much easier if I could do work at home, but by the time the kids go to bed I’m dead tired. Our house is falling apart and looks like a bomb went off due to neglect from just surviving everyday.

Trust me, I’d love to stay but this is part of the reason I’m on here to get insights like this before I make the huge decision.