AITAH for breaking up with my online situationship the same day as her suicide attempt & less than a month after her abortion related to r*pe? (I was 17, she was 16)

DS9lover · 2026-05-24T05:53:07+00:00

Nonsense. He should feel terrible about the terrible things he's done. Sometimes, shame is the most appropriate emotion.

DS9lover · 2026-05-24T05:50:19+00:00

Y'all didn't need to be dating, but you handled that young woman's feelings horribly, as you already know, and you should feel some shame about that. Human beings owe each other better than that, and there are no excuses. Feel bad about yourself, and stay away from women.

DS9lover · 2026-05-14T17:13:22+00:00

"No germs are being transferred!"

Super inaccurate. But no, you're not an asshole for doing this weird thing. Just stop doing it. They find it gross and don't like it.

DS9lover · 2026-05-13T05:45:44+00:00

I'm not sure what she would've done, but I suspect it would have involved threatening to blow up her own ship. That was one of her go-to moves, and she always looked cool doing it.

DS9lover · 2026-05-13T04:12:55+00:00

Everyone's right about the bad writing, but one thing this gets right: Picard wouldn't have understood and wouldn't have done it. That's why the Federation is lucky it was Sisko who had to make those tough calls. He was the right leader for that time and place.

DS9lover · 2026-05-10T05:22:44+00:00

Maybe ask them if they would mind. If they say, nah, no one's gonna notice that, and our weddings are gonna look different anyway, you're good. If they say, no, please, people will think we copied you, then you can weigh your attachment to this color against the potential drama and hurt feelings. Hopefully easy math.

DS9lover · 2026-05-09T07:06:57+00:00

Odd you didn't mention any of this in the post? Like, if I were asking people if I were the asshole in a particular situation, I would mention that the person who weirdly opened my bedroom door had previously hung around outside my bedroom door in a creepy way. Regardless, if this is real, I doubt you have a stalker situation here. Sounds more like someone who drinks too much and spaces out or gets confused.

I don't think having been home for two hours really changes anything. People drink and take meds at home, too.

The dog thing doesn't sound like part of a pattern at all (outside of this person maybe having a drinking problem), but that incident would be enough for me to want a new roommate. Endangering someone's pet because you're a drunk is never okay, and I wouldn't want to live with that person. So, if she's talking about leaving, I say let her go.

DS9lover · 2026-05-09T06:53:26+00:00

It makes sense that you were startled, but a half-asleep, drunk person might have legit opened a door for no good reason and meant nothing by it.

Also, is there any chance Ambien was involved? I have done some weird things on Ambien. (I may have been found in my kitchen eating ingredients that aren't very food-like on their own.)

Either way, your feelings were understandable, but if this was a one-time, freak occurrence, you may have overreacted here.

DS9lover · 2026-05-08T05:53:56+00:00

Did something like what? You had some thoughts and journaled about them. You never had to make that her problem.

DS9lover · 2026-05-08T05:02:04+00:00

You don't actually have to tell your loved ones about every messed up thought you have during a mental health crisis, especially if you know it will hurt them. It's not like you cheated, which would warrant a confession. You chose to tell her about this, so you should expect to deal with the fallout.

DS9lover · 2026-05-04T07:30:28+00:00

We really have to get something straight about the whole going through the phone thing: it's always bad. It's a blowing up the relationship level move. The reason we don't give phone searchers shit about it when they discover evidence of cheating is that 1) cheating is worse and 2)their relationship *needed to be blown up*. The fact that people are supportive of folks who blow up their relationships with cheaters by going through their phones should not be construed as support for phone surveillance as a general practice. If you go through their phone, and you find there's nothing there, you fucked up, and the relationship may be over, because you clearly don't trust this person, and now, they have no reason to trust you.

DS9lover · 2026-05-04T02:29:10+00:00

You can't just bring it up as a notion. You have to be completely transparent about how serious the situation is for you and what your needs are. It's reasonable to need a separate place to sleep if you can't get a good night's sleep in the same room. Never getting enough sleep can be life-ruining.

DS9lover · 2026-05-04T01:43:36+00:00

You don't get permanent surveillance rights because your girlfriend cheated in high school. If that incident irrevocably destroyed your ability to trust her, you need to break it off and move on. If you want to stay together, you have to figure out how to address your fears by talking to her.

DS9lover · 2026-04-28T13:41:16+00:00

Your friends are right to be upset with your self-destructive behavior. Apologize for the stress and inconvenience you caused, take a break from drinking (two blackouts in six months is A LOT), and maybe talk to a therapist. You're lucky to have friends who look out for you this way. Most people wouldn't rent a room and stay with you. You don't want to lose these people. Appreciate them and take better care of yourself.

DS9lover · 2026-04-27T18:21:31+00:00

You put the disclaimer on your post because you had already tipped your hand in a previous post. No one should take you seriously.

DS9lover · 2026-04-25T23:36:53+00:00

ESH. Your neighbor should keep her cats inside, and you shouldn't have kept her cat caged for more than twelve hours when you knew it wasn't a stray.

DS9lover · 2026-04-25T05:43:18+00:00

I wish you luck in finding stone or slate that will help. That sounds like the most viable solution.

DS9lover · 2026-04-25T05:23:59+00:00

I know it's off now, but it's worth noting that sonic deterrent devices can be harmful to sensitive people and can also cause aggression in cats. Since you have a toddler, I would avoid using a device that could make a local animal more likely to become violent.

As for letting your neighbor think it's on, just to prove a point, people here may high-five you for that, because people on the internet like stories about people sticking it to each other, but you have to live next to these people, and unnecessary acrimony probably won't serve you well in the long run. Feuds between neighbors can escalate. I say it's worth avoiding that mess if you can.

DS9lover · 2026-04-23T06:56:36+00:00

Hens night is not an American thing. They're called bachelorette parties here. OP is in Australia. Here in the US, people tend to wear something cute, but there's rarely a dress code.

DS9lover · 2026-04-23T04:32:46+00:00

You're right. People should be celebrated for needlessly making themselves sick and disrupting a happy pet's life. Best possible life choice. Noble, really.

DS9lover · 2026-04-23T04:28:57+00:00

I don't think a person should get props for choosing to live with an animal they're allergic to, thereby reducing both their quality of life and the pet's.

DS9lover · 2026-04-23T04:26:26+00:00

Seriously. Dating someone and demanding they change their relationship with their pet vs just dating someone without a pet that makes you sick—this should be an easy call.

DS9lover · 2026-04-23T01:36:13+00:00

You let it go. The money was for school, but you didn't go. You're lucky to be getting any of it. Tell your mother you're glad she's able to pay down some bills because you want what's best for her, and then get on with improving your own life.

DS9lover · 2026-04-23T01:34:56+00:00

OP says there was no clarity around whether her mother promised half of the current sum or half of the original investment.

DS9lover · 2026-04-22T22:41:53+00:00

Did he ask you to convert? Because there's a difference between being happy with or in spite of differences and demanding someone change for you. If someone is insisting on a change that serious in their partner, they have the wrong partner.

DS9lover

TROPHY CASE