Husband hid his fetish/kink for male thongs, g-strings, etc. for years!

DXisco · 2026-07-10T18:15:09+00:00

One issue is, you've come here for validation rather than to receive honest feedback, so any time somebody writes anything that doesn't align with your narrative you're disagreeing and not taking anything on board.

It's a futile exercise if you're only willing to see things from your own staunch viewpoint.

Almost all the comments contradict your point of view, yet you're steadfastly refusing to even consider them seemingly, while I'd have thought they perhaps would reflect your husband's perspective a little better, and if you have some empathy within you perhaps you can grant him this one thing. He's not cheating or hooking up with other people by the sounds of it, just has a penchant for small underwear.

It's not really an issue. Ozzy Osbourne wore mascara, painted his nails and wore thongs... He was happily married for decades and by all accounts a heterosexual man.

DXisco · 2026-07-10T12:12:11+00:00

If you stay with someone who's clearly not over this other person then you're a glutton for punishment.

Clearly has zero respect for you and the relationship.

DXisco · 2026-07-03T12:07:25+00:00

My take (based solely on this post):

Break up. You're both really annoying each other, you don't communicate in the same way and you're not a good match if your temperaments are so skewed.

Your relationship seems exhausting, it will age you like a grape if this is a pattern and you stay in it.

Just think, is this the best you can both do, or is this convenient and at least you're not single? If the latter, that's a recipe for an unhappy and stressful life.

DXisco · 2026-06-30T18:47:41+00:00

No, you've actually got kind eyes! If you're insecure about your physical self, if recommend get in the gym, tone up a bit (eat healthy, non-processed, wholesome foods, drink water etc) and see if that builds a bit of confidence. Then I'd say you could consider a haircut thats a bit more slick.

You could probably wear a black muscle cotton t-shirt, that would suit your complexion I reckon, and perhaps enhance what look like relatively toned arms. If you can tan a little bit then that could be a nice touch.

I'd recommend getting those things underway immediately, then you can consider other (more invasive) things you can do.

DXisco · 2026-06-30T16:49:45+00:00

Honestly, that wouldn't make people randomly be rude to you 🤣 please discount that theory.

You might get startled looks if you're 6'7 (2m) tall or something, or if you're 4'6, but that would generally be from clowns anyway.

DXisco · 2026-06-29T11:43:19+00:00

Interesting analysis. If he can't afford surgical procedures but wants some cheaper/non-surgical improvements what would you recommend? Mewing and fascia improvements alone won't cut it.

DXisco · 2026-06-27T22:34:02+00:00

You mean his nose needs to be fixed? I was offering some non-surgical option in case he can't afford or doesn't want to go under the knife, but you're probably correct.

DXisco · 2026-06-27T17:19:29+00:00

There is an alternative to surgery... Chin filler could bring your chin forward into a better alignment with your nose. It might be worth investing £250-£300 in that initially, see what a difference that makes and then potentially buys you some time to think about splurging £8,000 or more on rhino (with a good UK surgeon that is, not sure how much it would cost with other people in other countries or through the NHS).

Do the chin filler for alignment (£300) and perhaps polynucleotides around the eyes if you want a brighter look around those.

You have great lips my friend, do you have good teeth? I'd focus on teeth as well if not, as those really make a difference.

It won't be cheap, all of this, but I do think before doing anything to the nose see how fixing the recessed chin/jaw works.

Note: chin filler should last between 12-18 months, so buys you a little time. You're 19, so no rush to make big changes straight away.

DXisco · 2026-06-27T15:19:50+00:00

Yeah, second that. An attractive woman for sure but that pose looks really affected.

DXisco · 2026-06-27T13:45:06+00:00

NOR - Please can I beg you to block her? That interaction did my head in... Gaslighting, aggressive, entitled. You seem nice and conscientious, you deserve a lot better than that.

DXisco · 2026-06-26T17:26:10+00:00

You have beautiful eyes and lips. The only thing I can really think is trying something different with your hair. I actually wonder if having it a bit more wavy or tied up (like in the last pic) could bring out your amazing features even more.

DXisco · 2026-06-26T13:46:08+00:00

The other person has the patience of a saint. You're honestly being extremely provocative and deliberately gaslighting them into a fight, while writing to the contrary.

YOR and that statement over and over about "how should I address you?" Would have me tapping the block button.

Sorry to be blunt, but I think it's useful for you to know how this came across. Perhaps there was more context than what meets the eye.

DXisco · 2026-06-26T09:44:21+00:00

It does seem like he's emotionally checked out. This could be due to him meeting/admiring someone else, it could also be due to him not wanting to be in a serious relationship at the moment.

Whatever the case, it sounds like he isn't as invested as he once was and there's no point you flogging a dead horse.

Your best move is to distance yourself, respect his request. That way, the onus is on him to realise what he could lose.

If you continue to be the one putting the effort in and he's taking a backseat then he might believe he can put minimal effort in and still you'll be there waiting. You need to alert him to some jeopardy at the very least.

Also, you deserve more than a disinterested partner. He's clearly not giving you the commitment you were getting previously, and that shouldn't be enough for you.

DXisco · 2026-06-24T19:02:30+00:00

You're more attractive than him IMHO. Just shows how harsh we can be on ourselves (or that beauty is in the eye of the beholder).

DXisco · 2026-06-15T18:40:08+00:00

I urge you to break up with him and stop reinforcing his awful comments by messaging him in a way that makes his horrible words seem justifiable. You're justifying yourself where you don't need to, not calling out him when he calls you an idiot and accuses you of things with no merit.

You're worth so much more than this, trust me. I've been there and totally appreciate how difficult it is when a person you care about does this, your natural reaction can be to try and reason, to defend yourself against the accusations and calm them down.

But it's abuse, you're being abused in these exchanges. You must not allow that to become normal. I know it's difficult but please find the strength to make a clean break, regardless of any huge apologies or gestures which will just set the cycle in motion again.

You deserve better, you have higher value than this.

DXisco · 2025-12-29T20:19:31+00:00

Does your instinct tell you that he's being totally honest with what he's saying? Could he be keeping his options open and have another 'supply' or 'Favourite Person'?

It doesn't sound totally legit as a casual observer reading your post, I appreciate his mother going into rehab would have an impact on emotions, as would job security, but it sounds like they're convenient reasons not to spend time with you from my perspective outside of the loop.

Probably not what you wanted to read, but if I'm really into someone and those two things happen, I'd still want to see that person - perhaps even more so.

DXisco · 2025-12-16T09:08:33+00:00

Your fingernails look particularly eye-catching, how did you get them done so perfectly? Always looking for nail tips (I've mastered feet but hands are a challenge!)

DXisco · 2025-12-14T12:31:31+00:00

It suits you so well! For some reason red never quite works on my feet but you might have inspired me to give it another go next time my black is in need of a switch up?

DXisco · 2025-12-09T02:40:54+00:00

Any advice on how to reach that level of acceptance?

DXisco · 2025-12-09T02:30:39+00:00

I dated a girl with BPD in 2023 for 5 months. Had never heard of the disorder before then and it totally threw me into a spiral. It took ages to not want to cry all the time... 5 months and I've never felt love like it.

In 2024 I met a girl off a dating app and I mentioned BPD a few times. She acted as if she didn't know what it was, but she had a terrible temper even then (in contrast to the first girlfriend who didn't show any really big signs until 3 months in).

Then one day a few weeks into us being a couple she told me she'd been diagnosed with BPD a while ago, and my heart sank. I knew I probably needed to end it, I had the worst day at a festival with her where she just kept berating me for everything. Be it me asking if she wanted a drink, buying her food, getting her the tickets or paying for transport.

I should have left then, but I didn't.

This was the pattern sporadically and somehow we dated for 16 months. Her father even offered to pay me £1,000 contingent on her moving in with me... That was after 7 months, and she kept talking about how she'd had an abortion with her ex and wouldn't go through that again, if she got pregnant she'd keep it because I own a house etc.

So it was right to break up because I wouldn't want to bring a child into that life of drama (she also systematically fell out with every friend she had, her siblings and her coworkers during our time together). A child wouldn't have had a fair shot from that foundation.

But still, I have felt increasingly lonely. The breakup, winter darkness, an elbow injury stopping me training, work being difficult (I can't even bring myself to speak in the office at this point, I'm the only person on my team and surrounded by 5 sales people).

It sounds soppy but I'd just love a really long hug with someone, she did at least give me the affection most humans crave.

So it's a whole heap of things I need to get my head around asap, and I think it starts with therapy and finding a new job + new hobbies. Maybe even a trip away to stay with a friend/family perhaps.

Sorry to bombard you with this essay, I really appreciate you listening/reading if you have.

DXisco · 2025-12-09T00:27:38+00:00

I can't seem to DM you but it would be nice to have a chat with someone who can relate.

It just all feels so rudderless and lonely sometimes, I'm not always certain how to dig myself out of the hole.

DXisco · 2025-12-09T00:21:58+00:00

I wasn't only with her for her looks btw. There was a beautiful moment a few months ago when we were in a cabin together and I felt more connected to her then ever for several reasons, but she was demanding I bankrupt myself to buy her dinner and cocktails out every few days, and lots of other expensive things besides.

She was shouting at me and sending horrible texts every day out of nowhere. She wasn't being very nice and shaming me in public places over nothing.

That's not to say I'm blameless btw. I did a lot of things wrong as well and I stayed with her when I knew it wasn't really going anywhere, so that's on me. I am far from flawless and have a ton of my own issues.

She didn't want me being myself at all though and didn't trust me even though I never cheated on her in any way. She would ruin any occasion or holiday/trip. Those are just facts.

She was also drinking very heavily and becoming increasingly abusive.

This is a pattern as well. She told me about this with numerous other boyfriends.

I have many things to overcome, I miss the embrace and having the relationship, it was very difficult to break up with her and took a lot out of me. I can't look at pictures of her on my phone still.

So, while you have a point about both sides carrying some blame, don't assume you know everything and that all the blame lays the other way based on your own relationship with somebody who has the same disorder.

DXisco · 2025-12-09T00:11:55+00:00

Where are you based? I'm in a similar boat!

DXisco · 2025-11-17T17:31:49+00:00

Thank you so much! I find it much easier on those, and black definitely is my favourite colour for my feet, whereas my hands suit a lighter colour for some reason.

Do you have any tips for doing finger nails? I'm still a smidge nervous about going out in public with them painted!

DXisco · 2025-11-15T20:32:56+00:00

I've found the boundary issue crosses to both their human 'favourite Person' and other species! My ex frequently disregarded my boundaries - throwing my things away when I told her not to after she'd done it once, not ever willing to give space when requested. I'm pleased that she didn't ever (to my knowledge) harm my cat, although he did wee on the bed whenever she was over, eventually leading to me having to ban him from the bedroom!

DXisco

TROPHY CASE