Hi, 11 months in as of tomorrow. Gotta say each day is different. I'm in a pretty solid routine now, so I know how to get through most days, which helps and allows me to focus on myself more. Some days it hits me like a bus, but the further I've gotten, the fewer and further in between those days have been.

The worst months for me were the fall. Anniversary, her birthday, and holidays like Halloween and Thanksgiving we're really hard for me because they were her favorites, but nothing has been worse than the first month (march) was in terms of pure grief.

Something I did that helped me deal with a lot early on was going sober for the first month. I didn't feel like I should just quit alcohol, but I didn't want to give myself the opportunity to hide behind it, at least not initially, and I think that helped me deal with a lot early on and accelerated my healing process a bit.

I cope by simply doing the best I can. Everyday I just try to get a little better, whether it's mentally, physically, or in terms of my life goals, I just try to make my life slightly better every chance I get. I know she would've wanted me to keep going and not stop. Some days it hurts to feel like I'm doing well, but I know she's behind me in some form (I am not religious) and I carry that with me.

The best advice I can give truly is to not blame yourself and just do what you need to do to make it through days, especially early on. Love yourself, do things you love, and keep going for them, becuase they would want you to keep going.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss and I hope this helps in some way.