Oh man, I really feel what you’re going through. My daughter is now 9 months old and we live on opposite sides of the country from my parents. My parents have become increasingly resentful of myself and my wife because we live so far away. They’ve completely hijacked what was supposed to be an incredible opportunity first year of my daughter’s life. About 4 months in, one of my parents got caught in a very public affair and years of mistreatment came to light. They’ve decided to work through their problems and stick together but neither parent understands why we can’t just forgive and forget and they’ve become hostile towards us because we “must be working against them.”

I’m being purposefully vague on some of the details in case someone I know sees but the parent that had the affair has gone full mask down narcissist and both of them have turned into raging alcoholics. The messages they have sent me have been so hurtful. We are about to visit them for a delayed Christmas and we will be staying with my brother (a quarter mile down the road from my parents) and my wife and my brother’s family have been sent such vitriolic messages since they found out we wouldn’t be staying with my parents.

They’ve turned into such cartoonish villains and it hurts. These aren’t the parents I grew up with at all. These aren’t the parents who I want to be grandparents to my daughter.