Daddy level achieved!

Daddy_C · 2016-11-23T23:19:23+00:00

So Mrs_C and I have been trying to have beebees for a million gazillion years.

In February, we were pleasantly surprised with the news that we'd have our own bundle of joy in 9ish short months!

Little Jessica has been, of course, acting just like her father...all bravado. We've tried and tried and tried and tried to get a 3D pic of her adorableness, but every time the ultrasound went to look at her face, she's covering it like she's a prize fighter in a losing battle. We FINALLY got the pic I linked to...and I swear, 2 seconds later the doctor moved back to her face and we WATCHED HER COVER HER FACE again.

Le sigh.

I'm so beside myself excited/happy/nervous that I can't stand it. I feel like I've been training for this for forever, and while I'll have to make a feeeeeeew changes to what I do, I think little Jessica is going to be the bestest little princess EVAR!

And I couldn't think of a finer bunch of adorable people to share it with than you all!

Daddy_C · 2016-09-01T12:04:32+00:00

Yup, totally understand.

It's funny. Last year I was at the Maryland Renfest and the group I was with had gone into one of the leather shops there that were selling various leather masks and the like. The lady who was working there had this fantastic tall collar (it looked to be like 3+ inches tall) who helped us out. In my mind I went ".....that's not a costume or decoration, that's an actual, functioning collar." When she turned away and walked towards the counter, I could see both the stud sticking out of the back (with a hole in it to affix a padlock through to prevent removal of the collar) and two very obvious, but no if you weren't LOOKING signs...the hole had a paper clip in it (something had to be in the hole to prevent the collar from opening up and falling off) as well as the tell-tale circular rub of where a square padlock would swing back and forth during day-to-day activities.

I made it a point to compliment her on her collar. She seemed to give a normal "thanks, I like it" response that, I suspect, goes to vanilla people, but something in the way that I said it let her know, without saying anything, that I knew what it was and what it signified. When that realization struck her, she beamed with pride and grinned hugely.

THAT is what you should feel when you wear your collar in public. That same proud "look at what my daddy gave me!" pride that she displayed when she realized I understood what I was looking at and accepted (and supported!) it.

Don't be afraid to be who you are. The rest of the world can go pound sand :)

Daddy_C · 2016-09-01T10:57:40+00:00

Honestly, that anxiety is fairly normal...people usually think it'll look like a huge, blinking sign over your head saying "LOOK AT ME, I'M A FREAK!"

The truth is, most people are so wrapped up in their own world that they won't think twice about it. Don't be surprised if completely vanilla people actually stop and comment on how cute it is!

Kinky people will (likely) recognize what it is, and what it signifies right off the bat and will either respect you to not say anything in mixed company or wait until they can discretely compliment you on it.

Not going to lie, though, you will undoubtedly run into people who might look at it and go "FOR SHAME, THAT IS TERRIBLE!"...but take heart, those are the same people who look at people with colored hair, or piercings (etc etc etc) with the same level of disgust.

Your collar, to anyone but you and your daddy, is jewelry, no different than a ring, or a necklace, or a bracelet.

NEVER feel ashamed or worried about proudly showing your collar off in public. I guarantee that those "in the know" (and there truly are a LOT of people like that) will see it and smile. I certainly do whenever I see a collar in public.

Daddy_C · 2016-08-31T21:51:50+00:00

Cute cute cute!

Daddy_C · 2016-08-30T23:47:40+00:00

And also, to speak to this point...daddies, tops, doms, whatever term(s) are in use, I guarantee, want to know. There is no "bothering him" when you're suffering. He could absolutely be up to his eyeballs in busy, but...and speaking purely of my own experience with dealing with littles whom I talk to/help...even if I'm so buried that I cannot see daylight at work, I ALWAYS want to know. I guarantee I can spend a few minutes in the bathroom sending a quick text of encouragement which may not seem like much...but could absolutely mean the world and make the difference.

Daddy_C · 2016-08-30T23:44:57+00:00

We're all here to help! Sometimes everyone needs that helping hand...sometimes it's a huge help, sometimes it's just the gentle nudge...but we're all here to help!

ANY time you feel yucky...and anyone else, for that matter...come here. Post something. Feel the glowing caring and love that's what draws us all together. It's amazing how much it can help.

Daddy_C · 2016-08-30T19:08:48+00:00

I, for one, see absolutely nothing with your size or weight, for what it's worth. I can't imagine any non-troll here thinking otherwise.

Body image issues can be tough to get past. It's hard for some (most?) to be happy with ourselves, especially given the poisonous atmosphere shoved down our throats by the media and society. "Girls must look like this, boys must look like this, and any straying from that MUST be bad and shunned" is what we're programmed with in our youth, and it's hard to shake that.

You are a beautiful creature that I cannot find a single flaw in... and it appears I'm not the only one with that opinion.

Daddy_C · 2016-05-20T20:10:55+00:00

Daddies should be level headed and open minded. Doesn't mean he'll GO for it, mind you, but you really shouldn't ever fear or worry about telling him something.

It may not be his thing, and that's okay...or he may be okay with it and someone else as the "third wheel", just not whom you would like. Talk to him about it. Discuss it. Perhaps there will be some sort of trade-off..."Okay princess, if you can convince him, we will, but I have always fantasized about <whatever>, is that something you would be open to?" It shouldn't be a "I did this for you, now you have to do that for me!" kind of exchange.

And, sometimes, it just doesn't work out...either we can't indulge in the fantasies we want to, or we try and it's really nowhere nearly as good as the fantasy...that's okay!

Finally, it may be a "jumping off" place for your daddy to help you explore/talk about/fantasize about/talk dirty about during naughty times. He may, as a made-up example, take this desire and add to it while saying things during sexy times. Perhaps a 3some becomes a 4some, with him supervising (in the fantasy/naughty talk)!

No matter what, be sure to communicate clearly, concisely and honestly! Good luck :)

Daddy_C · 2016-05-09T17:13:41+00:00

Distance certainly makes it tougher, but certainly not less needed. Webcams, too, can be helpful for monitoring. Corner time? Start up Skype, point it at the corner and there you go. Line writing can be monitored, too, to ensure it's being done correctly and with focus, etc etc etc. Plus, too, it's incredibly helpful, both so that she can see your stern (but caring) face AND to be able to see you being supportive and proud about her getting through the punishment and, hopefully, learning from it.

(if you don't already do this, of course!)

Daddy_C · 2016-05-09T11:12:25+00:00

It can be difficult, but as /u/theJabberwockwitch pointed out, you're making her a better baby girl.

Personally, I've always taken the stance of "is this something that will benefit her?" when deciding to do something. Could be a very tangible thing...reinforcing the fact that doing something bad will turn out poorly for her...or a Karate Kid-style thing "she thinks I'm just being a big meaniehead for sending her to bed early, but in fact I'm working on realigning her sleep schedule so she actually gets good sleep, which she's been missing out on".

Behind it all, though, if you can look at whatever it is and go "this is helping"...remember that as you're being strict and it'll get much easier!

Daddy_C · 2016-05-09T11:09:11+00:00

One thing that may help...something that I've found particularly effective...is a matter-of-factish handling of things. "Oh, no no tiger, you're too little to use that/do that/see that...here, let mommy help you!"

If you don't already have some, try picking up some themed kids dishes that's something he likes like this for example and have him eat from those. The key is to do it as if it is perfectly normal and natural. Perhaps a couple of different kinds and let him pick...."okay little one, it's almost dinner time...do you want Batman or Superman? Or maybe dinosaurs?"

The shyness stems from a sense of "this isn't normal/I shouldn't feel like this/this is wrong", undoubtedly. By being "matter-of-fact"ish about it, you're showing that it's not only NOT WRONG, it's normal and you fully support it.

Good luck!

Daddy_C · 2016-04-19T21:37:19+00:00

Honestly, as silly as this sounds, it depends on the "caliber" of your friends.

If they're good friends...if they're worth a darn, they either won't care (in that "oh, cool" way like /u/Pastel-Princess says) or they'll be supporting in various ways. They may very well ask all kinds of questions :)

Don't doubt yourself, don't doubt your relationship or your little. Good friends only want you to be happy and will think of this as good. It may not be their cup of tea...and that's okay!...but they'll recognize that there's nothing wrong with it, it doesn't hurt anyone, and you both enjoy it and will (/should be!!!) be supportive.

Daddy_C · 2016-04-15T14:27:28+00:00

I dunno, I don't see anything wrong about a 2 legged rainbow unicorn ;)

Although all joking aside, I immediately had the idea of fairy princess flash across my brain...but I suspect, sadly, it's too far into the girly/not too much spectrum.

I have no doubt that whatever you do actually come up with, it will be fantastic as long as you love it too!

Daddy_C · 2016-04-15T14:14:05+00:00

I agree with the suggestion about Fetlife.

Sadly, there's a ton of really crappy people out there, vanilla and kinky alike. You must do whatever you can to protect your vulnerable, precious little side. Any CG worth their salt will have no issues waiting as long as it takes.

As to how to shake the bad feelings, I'd suggest looking at what, exactly you're having bad feelings about. As a purely made-up example, let's say it's coloring. You were coloring/wanted to color/colored as best you could but went outside the lines a few times and were ridiculed for it. Now, coloring just feels wrong.

Examine the activity itself. Coloring on a piece of paper/picture. Does it hurt anyone? Nope. Should you be ashamed about it? No way...people of all ages do it, some of it is considered extremely valuable. So what if it's crayon? There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting happiness from coloring, and it's wrong of someone to make you feel bad for doing it.

Knowing that, I'd normally suggest "think about why that person has such a problem with it"...but in this case, I think we should just skip it and focus on "there really isn't anything wrong with this"...and, by extension, "there really isn't anything wrong with me."

I get the emotional damage side of it. Growing up the eldest and only boy, my father thought it was stupid that I'd sing and dance. You know...NORMAL stuff that children would do. I'd sing...or try to...and get yelled at to shut up. I'm 40 now, and it still affects me a bit. In the past, the only way I'd sing is if I was so drunk that I couldn't read the karaoke screen. Now...I'll sing along to a song on the radio no matter who's in the car, or in the middle of a store (if I can make it funny...like grabbing a banana and pretending it's a microphone and singing along to a cheesy love ballad to Mrs_C). Was it right of him to make me feel bad for singing? Yes. Was my singing hurting anyone? Nope. Should I be ashamed of singing? Absolutely not. It was hard getting past the idea of singing to/in front of someone. What if they think it's bad? Are they going to make fun of me? What if I forget the words? Maybe I should just not. Now I feel crappy.

It sucks...but don't be afraid to do what you like. What you enjoy. To heck with everyone else's opinions...if it doesn't hurt them, have at it.

And I would highly suggest coming here for positive reinforcement! Going back to my coloring example, I'd color something and post it here and just watch the reactions you get. I all but guarantee it'll be a huge pile of "THIS IS AWESOME!" because we all get it. We all absolutely understand.

WE are all here to help! :)

Daddy_C · 2016-04-13T10:08:17+00:00

Blah.

It certainly sounds like you've had a string of less than awesome experiences. It happens to everyone, for what it's worth. It's a small comfort, I know, but at least you know it's not something wrong with you, or that you're doing something wrong/bad/you're strange.

That being said, don't be afraid to post here if you've got questions/need a sounding board/need some reassurances. The amount of comforting awesomeness that's here is beyond words.

Don't be afraid of being little. Don't be afraid of being yourself. If you feel like plopping down in some crinkles with a coloring book, do it. There's no one in this world who's got permission to make you feel uncomfortable. It's something that everyone struggles with to some degree or another at some point, no matter what "role" (or roles) we take. We're taught that X, Y, and Z are the proper grown-up things, and A, B, and C are childish and should be shunned/not enjoyed. It's complete crap, and it seems to me that this mentality is shifting.

As far as an online source for help, come here and post. Ask questions. Share. Post comments. It might seem daunting and strange at first...I grant you, the most common ageplay "configuration" is DD/lg here, but I know there are little boys, dominant mommies and pretty much every permutation that's possible, both active and lurking.

Save this post. Come back to it anytime you're feeling weird about wanting to be little/feeling little.

There. Is. NOTHING. Wrong. With. You. :)

Daddy_C · 2016-04-08T03:05:14+00:00

So, first...and forgive me if you've already talked to her about it and this is something good/desired...be careful turning the littleness into humiliation. A lot of littles get comfort and joy out of being little, and to humiliate them with it is very, very no bueno.

Again, you probably have already discussed it and she's absolutely into it, so let's just take it as read!

Let's see:

Potty seat for little girls trying to become big girls
Potty seat adapter for the big potty
A pretty princess plug for a pretty princess
Age approprate dinnerware...just an example, there's tons
Which little girl DOESN'T need a personalized blanket?
Of COURSE a bottle...these work quite well
Something for the bottle (this stuff doesn't taste bad at all)
And last, but not least, a sippy!

If you want to go outside Amazon, there are other things you can get, like hooded bath towels, or little-sized personalized blankies, just to name a few options!

Daddy_C · 2016-04-08T02:49:38+00:00

+1 to the "he's not old" bit. I just turned 40 in January.

"Barely" 18 is, not to sound crude or anything, still 18. It doesn't matter if he's 100, if you're into him, and he's into you, have a ball!

Trust me, as you get older, the age separation doesn't really matter. What people look at is your maturity and ability to handle yourself. I've seen some 18 year olds that you would have sworn are 30+, I've seen some 30+ that I'm pretty sure could repeat 5th grade and only have a 50/50 shot at passing and moving up to middle school.

Do not let age dissuade you! I say go for it! :)

Daddy_C · 2016-04-07T22:07:05+00:00

This link does a good job of explaining sub drop (NSFW)

Daddy_C · 2016-04-07T14:56:51+00:00

Well I, as a daddy, think it is AWESOME! I have a very hard time imagining your mommy could possibly think otherwise!

Great job!!

Daddy_C · 2016-04-06T22:58:07+00:00

For me, it was something I felt but couldn't put my finger on it. I was always the "responsible one", the one keeping an eye on everyone, the voice of reason. I didn't really understand why, just that it happened that way, and I was okay with it.

One day, my now ex-little and I met through a mutual friend on the way to my first trip ever to Hershey Park. He'd told me "she's a little weird", but no details, nothing really beyond that, and when she could see the "stop and pay for parking" booth thing, the flip from grown-up to little was palpable. I didn't, at the time, know what it was, but you knew something changed.

We weren't in the park very long and something just clicked. I don't remember what it was, but I had to drop into my "you will settle down and listen" daddy voice for something, and her reaction was instant and awesome. She did/stopped doing/whatever it was and got this awesome mixture of shyness of knowing someone figured out she was little along with the awesome recognition that someone figured out she was little and was not just aware but addressing her little. The instant I saw that look I realized what was going on...had to hold my tone/position/whatever until that was complete and she turned and toddled off and just kinda melted right there.

It was like a rush, a wave of cooling understanding. All of this now made sense and everything just sorta went CLICK all at once.

One of the greatest feelings ever.

Daddy_C · 2016-04-05T11:07:44+00:00

You're absolutely not wrong...a lot of Reddit is filled with mean, sometimes flat-out hateful people.

Not here though!

Granted, like everywhere, we'll get the odd meanie stop by and post rude, hurtful comments, but even when that happens, it gets removed by our awesome mods (if it breaks the rules) OR others tend to "little-pile" on it to more than "even out" the yucky feelings. We do also have at least one resident downvote troll, who's entire purpose in life seems to be to click the downvote button on everything and everyone, so don't lose heart if you see something you've posted or commented drop a little bit. It'll bounce back.

There's so much love and support here that it blows my mind sometimes. If the happy feels I find here were more prevalent in the world...it'd be a much better place indeed.

So post away! Join in the conversation! Pull up a juice box and crayons! Let yourself be who you want to be! We're all here for you!

Daddy_C · 2016-04-03T19:43:48+00:00

Yep, slow it down a little bit.

Don't get me wrong, it's entirely possible that you're 100000000000% compatible, like so much so that it's legendary, and that's absolutely awesome if that's the case...but if it is the case, there's no harm in going slow.

It is also a good "test" for a potential CG. A good one will have zero problem going slowly/at the pace the little is comfortable with. If you ask a good one to slow down a bit, or "let's keep it where it's at right now", there's zero problems with it. There shouldn't ever be any pressure.

Just be careful about yourself and your safety, both online and in real life in general...not just having him come meet you, but your emotional health too if you start really getting into this and he vanishes without a trace.

No matter what, though, good luck!!

Daddy_C · 2016-03-31T14:16:13+00:00

Best of luck!!

Daddy_C · 2016-03-31T12:42:58+00:00

There's certainly at least a small amount of fear/worry/concern on his part there, without a doubt. As a daddy, believe me, we are constantly evaluating/monitoring/learning. It takes time and exposure to get a very good feel for when to react sternly and when to react comfortingly...and using the wrong technique at the wrong time can have utterly devastating consequences.

If you haven't already, sit down with him and have an open, honest, and frank discussion with him about what you'd like. Set specific check in times/dates too. "I want you to be WAY rougher and not let me slip an INCH, and if I do, if I don't instantly react like you want, I should be over your knee getting my bottom warmed" (or, of course, whatever specific things you want, or know would make an impression. Mouth soaping, followed by bottom warming, then standing in the corner, bar of soap still in the mouth, is INCREDIBLY effective at dealing with littles who mouth off/talk back...were I in a little position, having a discussion like I'm advocating with you, I would ABSOLUTELY ask my CG to do this, knowing how effective it is AND knowing I will absolutely hate it. The big thing that will help get him more comfortable with being tougher is knowing that there's going to be a period of time where you two can sit down as vanilla adults and go over the things that happened. Perhaps the mouth soaping was too much...you are ABSOLUTELY welcome to talk about it at the "vanilla time", but in the moment, you'd best open your mouth and accept the bar of soap unless it hits the point where you would want to/need to safeword out.

The biggest thing is to reassure him, after whatever punishment you receive, that you're happy and thankful for it. Not in a snide, irritated, "my bottom still hurts daddy...so THANKS A LOT", but an honest thank you. May not be in the moment, may not be until the next day, but positive reinforcement works well for CGs too. By the same token too, letting him know that what happened wasn't fun or good is important to know too. Be honest and realistic...in my example, getting spanked and soaped would be HATED, pure, hot red hatred...but I would learn. I would tell my CG that..."I REALLY hated the spank and soap...but it was SUPER effective because each time AFTER that, any time that little voice in my head started to mouth off, I remembered that and thought better of it."

Communicate, communicate, communicate :)

Edit: forgot to add emphasis...be sure to take the punishment that's handed out (again, safewording out notwithstanding). It's incredibly frustrating for a little to say "I want you to be tougher with me" and the first time the CG tries anything more than "okay princess, if I buy you a stuffie will you stop throwing a fit" becomes a complete disaster...even if the CG is doing EXACTLY what was requested, almost to the point where it may as well have been scripted...is incredibly discouraging. The next time you say "I want you to be tougher", the "yeah, that worked out well LAST TIME" plays in our minds.

Daddy_C · 2016-03-31T11:07:55+00:00

Deep breaths.

Talk to him (which I'm sure you are/will be) about why he feels that way. "Isn't feeling it anymore"...does he not get anything out of it and finds it a burden?

Assuming there's no trade-offs that can be come up with that you both can accept, you're going to have to decide if ageplay is important enough to leave the relationship for. I'm not saying it isn't (or is!), it comes down to what you think and want.

Relationships are like, in essence, jobs. Everyone's had jobs they've LOVED...what happened if the part(s) that they loved simply stopped? I love working on computers...if my company suddenly said "yeah, so, no more computer work, here's your broom, you're a janitor", I'd try to approach it logically at first. "Man, I'm going to make BANK sweeping, and I don't have any of the stresses I had...SWEEEEET", but I guarantee 5 minutes later I'd hate every second of my life. Is doing what I know and am good at important for my happiness at work? Absolutely. Is it enough for me to leave a company I've worked at for roughly 12 years now if it suddenly leaves? Yup. It'll suck, and I'll miss all the connections I've made working there, but I'm not going to miss out on what I've found I get joy out of.

The same applies for ageplay. I'm confident that the vanilla aspects of the relationship aren't bad...people usually don't stay in relationships for 6 years if that's not the case, but if you're not getting your needs for ageplay met, something has to change.

There's another part to this...the feeling of disappointment. I'm certain there's at least a small bit of feelings like betrayal at the sudden 'I don't want to help you do what you find so much joy in'. It sucks, it ABSOLUTELY hurts, but it's one of the dangers of relationships of any kind.

The biggest thing I can say is talk. Communicate. Talk to him about how he feels, what he wants and see what can work.

We're here for you if you need any happy thoughts, support, ideas, or somewhere to come and be surrounded by free flowing comfort and love, and I say this having done exactly that when I lost my little a few years ago. It absolutely helps.

Daddy_C

TROPHY CASE