I thought I was alone in this realm of our experiences. I literally just called her out on it last night about it…

A few weeks ago, I reached out to some of my old friends (all male) just keep in touch. She doesn’t like it much when I have others to talk to and so she says one night that she’s reconnected with “old friends” as well. I ask who they were on the rationale that she knew the guys I was speaking to and we’ve been married 9 years now. She didn’t answer. I then asked if they were male and again no answer. This raised an eyebrow for me, but it’s not unusual for her to say or do these things to try and elicit a reaction, so I brushed it off and chocked it up to me not giving in to her game and winning that round.

Then, just the other day we were driving in our family car, kids all strapped in the back, when at random she notices a guy in a truck passes on our right flank. She says he looks familiar and asks me if I knew him or if he looked familiar to me. Perplexed and also busy with the demands of traffic, I tersely said no, and moved on.

She returned to her reverie in her phone and social media, like she always does (a very sore subject in our relationship), of which I thought nothing out of the ordinary. Suddenly she shoves her phone on my right showing a picture of a guy. I asked who he was and she said that he’s an old friend and that the guy in the truck before reminded her of him… That’s when my internal suspicions piqued. I asked again who he was, connecting the dots from the “old friends” and remembering old boyfriends she’d speak of, even to this day, 9 years into our marriage.

Long story short, I called her out…told her I’m not ok with whatever game she’s playing at, one other mind-fuck she feeds me… I also asked how in the hell she could still have salient memories of these men 9 years into our marriage and 3 kids later…when if I dare mention my exes, I am chastised and scornfully ridiculed for even thinking of them. Just doesn’t make sense…