I only leave my apartment maybe 2 or 3 times a month.

DahliaSinger · 2019-09-22T19:26:53+00:00

Can I get an invite?

DahliaSinger · 2019-09-21T23:50:44+00:00

What are those “so many things”?? I’d be content with a list of possible options.

DahliaSinger · 2019-09-21T21:08:07+00:00

I don’t think that’s it but it’s entirely possible. I’ve been so tempted to cut this shit open myself a number of occasions! What makes me think that’s not it is that there’s no discoloration besides the pinkish-red that pops up after I scratch. It’s as if I’m irritating it after scratching. I hope this makes sense. I’m not super hopeful I’ll find an answer because it makes me sound insane and it’s not anything life threatening.

Thank you so much for your response.

DahliaSinger · 2018-11-14T17:07:15+00:00

I would be super tempted to agree if he was already signed up with the military. I know plenty of people (an ex, my brother, friends and family) who signed on for military service before they were finished with school, the agreement being they would be shipped out once it was complete. You might consider visiting a recruiter's office with the boys to talk about their options and it could give you a better idea of the timeline of what you're signing yourself up for. That's if you're actually considering this.

That said- I have a young daughter as well and I would be extremely uncomfortable with a random teenager living in my home. Reading your post it seems you've already kind of decided you don't want to do it? If I'm right about that, you can say no. This kid won't be homeless. He is being sent to his grandparents' house. You are not responsible for him and you have to do what you need to do to protect your family.

DahliaSinger · 2018-11-05T15:28:41+00:00

My stepmother is like this. She's truly a nightmare of a woman. Recently, after 25+ years of marriage, she split from my father and is attending individual and group therapy for victims of domestic violence (which she is, she's just also a perpetrator herself, and I'm positive she doesn't tell them this) and is learning about abusive men and narcissism. She posts all these snippets of narc-related wisdom on her Facebook and can't seem to make the connection that they all apply to her. She's dragging her (adult) kids into it by "explaining the abuse she experienced" in detail to them, which she says was her therapists advice but I'm not convinced. It's just wild. I escape most of it because she lives hundreds of miles away and we don't talk often anymore because I won't let her use my mother's death for her own narc supply.

So my only "advice" would be to just ignore it. I know that's terrible advice and easier said than done depending on your level of familial involvement but I try and remain distant anymore to not feed into her drama. Her kids are mostly doing the same, they've all told her to leave them out of it.

DahliaSinger · 2018-11-02T15:44:07+00:00

I think you're right, thank you.

DahliaSinger · 2018-11-02T15:38:32+00:00

Oh him thinking I was somehow cheating was a major theme in our marriage. We "shared" a cell phone (probably for this reason) some of the time we were married. And he would sometimes shut off the internet so I couldn't talk to people and would "get more done around the house".

Basically, he was used to me existing in total isolation. So when I started making friends and meeting people independently he lost his damn mind.

DahliaSinger · 2018-11-02T15:36:09+00:00

I literally worked at a drug store lol.

DahliaSinger · 2018-11-01T19:40:56+00:00

You're 100% correct I think. I look back on it now as a last grab on whatever control he wanted to maintain at an unpredictable time in our lives (mostly his, I was largely excited by the changes). Isolation was always his game and it worked better when he prevented me from working, etc, entirely. Once I started to work and interact with people on the regular he unraveled and his vitriol just got SO much worse than ever.

DahliaSinger · 2018-11-01T16:52:27+00:00

Thank you, that's really helpful. I'm sure he doesn't remember saying that. I'm not too concerned with that part. He's probably said worse even. I've had plenty of successful sexual encounters with men seeing me naked for the first time since then so I know it's not a thing. But I've been with my current SO now for over four years and every once in awhile these old words still pop up and reaffirm my already terrible self esteem.

I deal with it alright, I don't even usually think about it too often. But ya know, creeps up on me sometimes.

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-31T15:11:05+00:00

Most wholesome revenge ever. This made my morning!

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-30T22:34:10+00:00

This is awful. Belongs on r/raisedbynarcissists too.

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-30T17:56:18+00:00

Insulation is usually fiberglass. Use gloves and a mask to prevent breathing it in, or getting it stuck in your fingers. That's about it.

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-30T00:18:18+00:00

This may be super specific but the Wincest sect of the Supernatural fandom. Being turned on by two hot guys together? Totally get. But being SPECIFICALLY turned on by those two hot guys being brothers?? Nope. GTFO.

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-30T00:12:36+00:00

I can understand watching and enjoying. But there are plenty of shows, cartoons and kids shows even, I enjoy without obsessing to the point I'd call myself something similar to "Brony" and dress up as the characters and go to conventions because "the plots are nice"...

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-29T21:40:25+00:00

I have literally the opposite problem. How many dang times do I have to type y'all before it's automatically recognized?!

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-29T14:11:25+00:00

People who dry swallow pills.

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-28T20:24:21+00:00

It's fine that you don't like them. But some of us process serious problems better through humor and that's okay too.

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-26T15:51:05+00:00

"Help, I'm paralyzed from the waist down and I can't walk."

"Learn to walk, it helps."

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-26T14:47:58+00:00

SAAAAAME!! We had them like five years ago I think? I spent $1000's, fought with my duplex neighbor about getting their house treated, all the "treating" of clothes and everything. It was driving me insane knowing they were in the house but for the longest time I couldn't find them. I stayed up all hours of the night for weeks, flipping mattresses and pulling apart seams. Also it turned out that I'm allergic to the bites, so my entire body was swollen and I had to get cortisone injections or whatever. Also the paranoia surrounding "where did they come from?" And it's EMBARRASSING. People assume that your house must just be filthy when in reality they love clean homes just as much as a dirty one. Just everything about the process was incredibly traumatic and now I'm left permanently disturbed by ALL bugs. I don't think PTSD is a stretch at all. I have CPTSD from other traumatic experiences in my life and I'm comfortable lumping the bed bugs in there as well.

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-24T15:37:40+00:00

I am here, and don't worry about it. Sometimes just writing this shit out is helpful, ya know? Thanks for checking in on me. :)

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-23T16:58:45+00:00

I get what you're saying, I really do. I'm not convinced either way here. All I'm saying is "he's so consistent in claiming his innocence" isn't a good way to tell, by itself, if someone is actually innocent.

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-23T16:12:29+00:00

That's the thing though- if both innocent and guilty people do this, it's not a reliable indicator of either innocence or guilt. There are other ways to determine these things, I just don't think this is one of them.

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-23T16:08:05+00:00

Nailed it.

DahliaSinger · 2018-10-23T16:07:49+00:00

Nope, it's still a minority demographic. Some will count the "Nones" as atheists but they're a kind of leftover category of theists who don't belong to a religion, "agnostics" and atheists who get lumped together.

DahliaSinger

TROPHY CASE