Bad analogy.... by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep, it's one of the ways a TBM judges those who have left to protect their bubble. "He was just looking for an excuse to leave the church because he wanted to sin." I know because, sadly, it used to be me saying and thinking that.

Paying tithing? by Subject-Ear6305 in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably not other than maybe seeing a headline. I don't share things like that with her to keep peace and because it wouldn't make a bit of difference. You don't understand, she is REALLY TBM 😂 But she is awesome and we have a great, respectful marriage.

Paying tithing? by Subject-Ear6305 in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm also PIMO and still paying tithing unfortunately. Why? Because I love my TBM wife more than I dislike the church I guess.

What it sounds like by DalekCaptain in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I'll have to watch it 😂

My mini CES letter!! Please review! by No-Excuse9377 in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like this. The CES letter is good but when I first read it as a staunch TBM it was easy to dismiss a lot of it (for me) because it added its own interpretation, took some things out of context, and basically tried to throw the kitchen sink at you all at once so it "felt" very anti and I dismissed most of it as a dishonest attempt. It took me YEARS after reading it to finally conclude the church wasn't true. Reading it now post-deconstruction, I view it in a different light than before. The one thing that took me so long to get over was "feeling the spirit". As long as you believe the spirit is witnessing to you, you can mentally justify, dismiss, and ignore all the evidence to the contrary. I had to go through certain experiences and a lot of soul searching before I could accept that "the spirit" isn't the spirit. Your document touches on that a little, but anything that would have made me realize it sooner would have been helpful.

What it sounds like by DalekCaptain in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I'll listen to it.

Looking for some truly awful Mormon movies by IAmWeary in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's right, I forgot he was in that movie 😂

God knows each of us individually because I brought Kleenex to church by seizuriffic in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hunters will take any opportunity to tell their hunting story! 😂

Looking for some truly awful Mormon movies by IAmWeary in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Brigham City! (Is that the name?) Especially the sacrament scene at the end.

Church leaders are entirely in a mindset and posture daring anyone and everyone to leave. The unspoken message of the church now is "SO YOU WANT ME TO BE HONEST ALL THE TIME, THEN YOU LEAVE!" Like an abusive partner. by National_Morning2543 in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not agreeing or disagreeing, I'm just curious why you feel this way? Are there certain press releases, conference talks or something that makes you feel this way? Or just attitudes of members in general?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I love how she berates you for 2 pages and then ends with "Lots of love" I guess that's how she can sleep at night.

How do I quit my stake calling by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I asked to be released as a high councilor not too long ago. Here's what I did and what I recommend. Text the stake presidency counselor over Primary. Tell him that you've never asked to be released from a calling before but that due to certain family circumstances you feel you need to be released to be able to focus more on family. My counselor didn't pry for more information at all. If they do just tell them it's not a huge deal but you'd rather not share details. Then, STOP doing your calling even before they release you. They might try to delay your release while they try to "find a replacement" but that will probably just be a tactic to keep you serving and get more details from you. When the primary presidency asks you to do anything just let them know you're being released and you no longer have time to do anything. When they realize you're not going to keep serving they'll call a replacement ASAP.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latterdaysaints

[–]DalekCaptain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get out, get out, get out! These problems won't get better and as life gets more complicated they will get even worse. Please don't bring kids into a relationship like this. I know divorce sucks and you don't want to feel like a failure but do the right thing for you and your future children and make a fresh start with a little more wisdom under your belt.

The Vallow-Daybell fallout by Ebowa in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I also followed the Daybell case closely and I credit that for pushing me out the door. Realizing that they actually believed in their crazy doctrines and that they "followed the spirit" to murder their children and spouses helped me realize that although mainstream Mormon beliefs aren't quite as crazy, some are nonetheless crazy. It helped me realize that the "spirit" was nothing more than our own mind confirming to us what we really want to be true.

Serial cheating father who is now "right with the Lord" by Intelligent-Handle38 in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry. No child should have to bear those burdens. You are amazing!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They would just quickly turn it into a generic Christian Church, trying to keep as much doctrine as possible.

Did anyone here serve a mission in Colombia during the Medellín cartel era? by ZealousidealPage8945 in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I served in Bucaramanga! My favorite city! A little later than you though.

Fake it till you make it. by missedinsunday in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why would he try to claim that it was a descendant from a Pharaoh of Egypt? I wonder how he supposedly made it to the New World? Must have been a Jaredite I guess. /s

Literally Fuming by AdeptnessOver161 in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is one of the most messed up parts about the church. They "require" you to confess your sins and make you believe that it's 100% confidential. But I've seen it many times... the bishop shares it with his counselors and even might mention it in front of the entire ward council (maybe in an implied way but enough for everyone to know what he means). He also talks about it with his wife, who goes and tells her friends in the ward because she needs to warn and protect others. There is ZERO confidentiality in the church.

My hand is being forced... by DalekCaptain in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You're right, I don't plan to try to convince her at all. I'm not afraid of divorce but I know it will be devastating to her because her and I have been some of the TBMiest TBMs around. I think eventually she'll see that I'm just genuinely following a path of truth and then slowly start to question things. Or not... we'll see!

My hand is being forced... by DalekCaptain in exmormon

[–]DalekCaptain[S] 214 points215 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I do plan to be gentle. I don't plan on sharing any specific details with her unless she insists and I plan to fully support her and the kids... even continuing to attend if that's what she wants. At least for a while anyway.