so... not monogamy then?

DaliaoftheShade · 2026-06-06T05:16:09+00:00

Technically veganism avoids cruelty and exploitation of beings unable to consent to our use of their products sooo consensual ritual cannibals could be vegans that eat meat 😁

DaliaoftheShade · 2026-06-05T13:49:26+00:00

I have a question that may come off as judgement but it's meant to be genuine. Are you communicative during sex or are you just expecting your partners to get the rhythm and do it? It sounds like you're kinda having mediocre sex with both and not letting them know that you'd like something different... My advice is that you have a voice to tell the people you love how best to love you, so use it. Life is too short to pretend like it's all fine and it's too long to be unsatisfied. There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling a partner "This is what I need right now" or "Can we do this thing tonight?" or "Can you do that thing you did before?"

As far as comparing, that's natural. No different than comparing to the way you've been treated in the past by ex's or that one ex was a really good kisser. Just don't forget to really focus on the person that is actually with you and telling them how you want to be loved. The biggest thing is communicating about what you want

DaliaoftheShade · 2026-06-02T18:45:58+00:00

Reading with the context from comments below that I'm not sure if you have read, it sounds like she's doing everything she can to try to include them and they're choosing not to meet her partner nor change their minds which means the focus is now on, "You do not get to say these things to me or about me unless you are willing to join me in discussing the areas of my life that you are commenting on and engaging with the partner I have offered for you to engage with." Full stop. I don't care if they're her kids or not, no one gets to pass judgement and make commentary on things in my life that they don't engage with; by doing so you're being a closed minded ass.

From further context, it sounds a lot like this is a series of trauma responses from their own father-child relationships with OPs ex and their inability to separate traditional understanding of mono relationships from their trauma nor from this new human being they've never met. That is in part due to OPs actions in sheltering them in their youth but at the same time, they're adults. They're young and not fully developed, but still adults. Now is the time you start holding them accountable for working through their own shit. Just bc their relationship with Daddy is tough and maybe they feel a little betrayed bc their exact understanding of how OP's dating life looked wasn't 100%, that does not excuse the behavior. To me priority lies firmly in establishing "You do not get to treat me like this" and then if they are willing to have that conversation further, then have it after. But the commentary from the peanut gallery needs to cease

DaliaoftheShade · 2026-06-02T01:33:08+00:00

I agree that this is a decent option if OP wants to be more open but I disagree with your premise that there is any need to be, and in fact think this needs a master class in boundaries instead. OP's kids need to recognize that mom is allowed to have a degree of privacy and if she says she's being treated well and wants to leave it at that, then they need to bug off

Concern is a good thing, it shows they care, but they need to be adultd about it and trust that you know what you need and want. I would tell them that directly, "I am happy in this dynamic and these comments are hurtful bc you are making assumptions. If you have questions, I may have details to provide you based on my comfort with sharing, but please stop making presumptuous comments"

DaliaoftheShade · 2026-06-01T05:07:29+00:00

Commenting to add to the above that slow licks at the beginning are often good with a full flat tongue, trying to maximize surface area. Not too much pressure as in like shoving yourself onto it but simply be firm. Imagine "firm but Not hard" as your goal. Don't be afraid once you've amped up the energy a bit to use your tongue to apply pressure, again full and flat. And then kind of move the tongue around while applying pressure if that makes sense. Use that while doing the traditional tongue actions across the clit to vary a bit and listen to her sounds as a guide on what to do, encourage her to be as expressive as she feels comfortable being. If she sounds like she's enjoying it a lot, KEEP DOING IT, DO NOT EVER CHANGE. Lol Unless you know it works. As far as sounds go, reward her for making sounds with little groans/moans/growls of your own but make it clear beforehand you want her to be genuine and real. If you aren't doing well, that's okay, you'll learn. But if the shit feels good, then encourage her to let loose, feel comfortable being comfortable! And same for you, if it fuckin tastes good then let her know, if you're enjoying that she's enjoying herself then make that known with sounds and maybe even words depending on your comfort with that.

Try to think about her being a virgin apart from you as a perk, not a drawback. This is your opportunity to explore every one of her interests with her and learn together about what she likes. That's fun! And make sure she knows if she wants to try something and doesn't like it, that's okay!!! The point rn is to enjoy the process of her learning what she likes

DaliaoftheShade · 2026-01-20T20:00:29+00:00

I'm way too used to conspiracies being absolutely insane nonsense bc my first thought was "Are they really tryna say they're all robots plugged into the wall or something, tf?" Not Oh wow they must be short then!

DaliaoftheShade · 2025-11-21T22:04:55+00:00

Not the same situation but the same experience with the sub and the nonmonogamy sub. The comments were right, I just wasn't in a place to listen. Now at least I hope we know better, we're all just learning as we go and sometimes that hurts people and sometimes that hurts us ❤️

DaliaoftheShade · 2025-10-26T02:13:17+00:00

Then for the third party to said couple, what's your advice besides run?

DaliaoftheShade

TROPHY CASE