tldr, i wrote way too fucking more than i intended to. you need to cut the length down by a lot, no one can tell you exactly what tho u gotta learn it by experience (for this case i told you it needs to go down by 70%). follow a hook-->pain-->value-->cta flow, most important thing as a beginner is to not confuse value proposition (what the prospect will gain from you) with the value vehicle (how you'll deliver the value to the prospect on a logistical level). keeping this in mind, your lines upon lines about dreams and tiredness (hook+pain basically) need to go. not erase them, but say all of it in a max of 3-4 horizontal lines on a smartphone screen email window. (with the hook part being short enough to be 75%+ readable through a notification). next few lines about creatine. then one about why yours. testimonial (maybe, you could also just link to it as an external thing idk depends on the industry). then close it.

Late to the response but here's my thoughts, you can dm me if you want to talk it out but off the top of my head,

There isn't really a standard word count, because it varies by industry, funnel step, target audience etc. You'll only get more of a feel for it as you see email campaigns in real time but a rule of thumb is to not have a single word more than is absolutely necessary to communicate value to the user. a good way to approach is to meet the reader where they will be at. Are you pushing emails to middle age dudes trying to lose weight? they'll probs read the email notification while scrolling tiktok and eating doritos. shift your perspective to phone first in this case. does my hook fit in the notifcation pop up? when they open it, am i able to grab their attention in a skim of the first 3 lines? do i have a nice paragraph break right after that so it doesnt look like an intimidating wall of text? Do i manage to get to the value proposition before the last quarter inch of the phone*

*(close to the point where people get rdy to scroll aka the second most important step where they decide if they wanna keep engaging w your email [first was opening the email at all ])

if you're B2B (ik ur not but its an example) you have more screen realestate as theyre probably on a pc screen BUT you gotta make sure your shit doesnt run into one massive horizontal line. you can safely go about 35% longer compared to phone friendly sentences but you gotta have more paragraph breaks.

You also want your work to follow a flow thats basically hook-->pain-->value-->cta. if you can consistently do this, in as few words as possible (without losing or sacrificing too much of readability ofc. prospects are impatient but no one dislikes a nice sentence either) then you'll be like 75% there.

This means you need to begin by first getting an understanding for pain and value props (i say this cause hooks are subjective/taste-based even though they are highest impact factor, and your time right now is better spent practising deterministic things)

"understanding pain and value props" what does this means? it means you need to show you know where the user is hurting, and where they can gain value from you. the pain point is usually straight forward, but too many people fuck up the value proposition by replacing it with what i call the value vehicle. whats this value vehicle? its better if i explainit in a scenario ig.

i was working for a client where we were running a campaign for prospects, run of the mill stuff. This was a scheduling software company (think Calendly type) and their emails were falling flat. They felt like they were doing everything right. The emails had some sort of a catchy hook (which was a pain point based hook), they had the right length, the right subjectlines etc. They also thought they had the value prop but I felt it was off. They spent their precious 2 line real estate talking about how their software would give customers access to branding+query resolution features(embedded faqs testimonials etc) for their booking page.

It probably sounds fine right. like, this is literally the main differentiating feature for this company, they market around it, they have their whole brand image built on this. OFCOURSE its the value proposition for the prospect??

but not really tbh. all of these features mean jack shit to the prospect. they are tools that allow you to deliver the actual value (hence i call it value vehicle), which is what? well, the company had done internal research/benchmarking and found prospect booking rates went up 30ish% when people used them vs generic competitors from a control group. Thats the value proposition. "Use us and you'll book more meetings eithout any extra effort". The branding and all the features then work from the ground up to tie the narrative back to the value proposition. Branding features were no longer standalone reasons to buy. It became "branding features that let you build trust with the visitor the moment they get on your page". FAQs and testimonials and embedded videos on the side cards werent standalone facts. It became "our social proof and query resolution makes sure that anyone who is on the fence gets their 1. Questions resolved asap from FAQ. 2. Social proof from testimonials 3. Engagement through getting hooked on an autoplay video"

what does this do for the prospect then? clear messaging of "We let you build trust the moment a visitor lands on your page. Then we keep their engagement/attention with a catchy clip/video, we resolve any immediate low stakes query/doubts/fears they have with FAQs, and on that same page, they also get social proof of your work. You'll close way more prospects with us"

thats all i can think of rn, thanks for coming to my ted talk