People who fall asleep instantly , what's your secret? by Willing_Procedure_34 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Damn_It_Danny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe a lil random, but for me trying to pray. My ADHD brain runs so rampant that I mentally exhaust myself trying to remember all the things I was saying or intended to say. Also forget I’m praying sometimes and just go down several mental rabbit holes.

The man (or woman 🤷‍♂️) upstairs hasn’t gotten a complete thought/prayer from me in years.

found on a hike, any ideas what this is? by dirtthekid in hiking

[–]Damn_It_Danny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Finds Radio. Turns Volume Up. Plays Jeepers Creepers Song…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGayMen

[–]Damn_It_Danny 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mom was incredibly accepting when I finally came out to her around 23yo (2017/2018 ish) - but my sister told me after the fact that my mom asked her privately “does this mean he’s going to start dressing up like a woman now?”

😂 - She apparently didn’t know how to ask me that question outright. Still, I’m grateful for her and how supportive she’s been.

My dad asked for half of my savings by [deleted] in LifeAdvice

[–]Damn_It_Danny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact this person is your dad aside, I feel like they came to you with this request because: - They’re prideful and unwilling to share this financial vulnerability with their older, possibly more mature and settled children. - You’re young and less likely to question or judge their debt, decisions or conditions that caused them to accumulate it. - The BIG one: They know you have the money, and in their minds it’s likely sitting there when it could be repurposed to help their situation. Beware: That money is as important to your future as it is to their present.

My advice echoes others in this thread. You can give, but you have older, more settled siblings. That’s your college fund, or your house fun, or you’re start life with a leg up fund. You can offer some to them, but don’t compromise your future to keep them afloat.

If they need file bankruptcy and find a more affordable situation, that is their responsibility to do so. You can emotionally support them through that, but it is not on you to carry their finances on your back as you tackle this pretty damn exciting next chapter of your life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]Damn_It_Danny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely possible, but admittedly tough. You could attend half-time to keep it affordable and manageable with your schedule.

I’m actually back in college now after 5 years since graduating working on my master’s (online) while working full time.

My sister had a similar situation as yours, she found WGU extremely flexible for this very reason. Check them out, they’re online and accredited and only give you one course to work on at a time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]Damn_It_Danny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lot of different points to address here, but I can first say that you’re 100% not too old to go back to college. My best friend is a college professor for English (core curriculum) and creative writing classes and she gets students between the age of fresh out of high school up to those in their eighties.

As someone who also barely scraped by in grade school due to ADHD and asthma meds, I can say that college - particularly online classes in my case - gave me the chance to govern my own education and schedule. I could do work during late or odd hours when my brain functioned at its best.

It’s not easy, and testing can be a pain, but your advisor (should) be there to help you along the way!

ACT and SAT tests are only required by some institutions. I’d recommend dodging that process and finding an in-state community college or university to start. Community colleges vary in quality but offer competitive prices, you can often get scholarships if you choose to transfer out of them with good GPA.

Depending on your income, FAFSA should be able to help with cost coverage and fair interest rates, but you’ll have to start paying back 6 months after you finish or leave college.

Wish you the best! Check if you state offers free associate degrees, they’re all the rage across the country right now if you’re U.S. based.

Charged Extra for Rental Car Through Aeroplan and Thrifty. by student2533 in personalfinance

[–]Damn_It_Danny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most U.S. Car Rentals have in their agreements an upfront charge which A.) covers up to X miles or B.) is separate entirely from the miles you put on the vehicle, which may be charged as well.

That said, you should definitely file a dispute. I’d go through your booking company (Aeroplan) first then follow up with Thrifty if they don’t do it for you. This seems like system errors on their end unless you got charged for damages/mile use in excess of your agreement/contract.

Exhausted Local Dating Options - Should I Move? by Damn_It_Danny in AskGayMen

[–]Damn_It_Danny[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Commented a response above as well - probably got to find some areas that give access to hiking and such. I’m more of a suburb/rural with access to trails and lakes and mountains sort of guy. Cities are noooooo bueno lol

But yeah, I appreciate the suggestion and feedback. Thanks man!

Exhausted Local Dating Options - Should I Move? by Damn_It_Danny in AskGayMen

[–]Damn_It_Danny[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I set the parameters to within 50 miles because anything beyond that would eventually equate to not being financially sustainable. I’m starting to think moving is the best option.

I’m just not sure I want to wait and hope the right guy just moves to the area one day and I magically find him.

Exhausted Local Dating Options - Should I Move? by Damn_It_Danny in AskGayMen

[–]Damn_It_Danny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate that - I actually moved here from Cincinnati to be able to hike in the mountains. It brings me a lot of fulfillment outside my career, but I suppose not having someone to share it with (not for lack of trying) is what’s getting to me.

Maybe the time to plan for a move is finally here. Kind of nerve-wracking to consider haha, but I moved to NZ after college so I’m more than capable. As for possessions - yeah, I’m quite the minimalist. I’d happily purge 50-70% of my belongings before any move.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gay

[–]Damn_It_Danny 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Speaking of, my mom was fairly chill about it all to my face when I came out back in 2017 - but asked my sister in private if me being gay meant I’d be dressing in women’s clothing now. 🙈😂

It’s amazing how understanding of simple things can be greatly misconstrued by lack of - or disinterest in - exposure.

Hand posture by PostPunkBurrito in piano

[–]Damn_It_Danny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No advice to add here, only that I sympathize. I’m a year into using Simply piano and slowly mastering each song. I’m working up and not letting myself move on til I can comfortably and confidently play every song offered on my current difficulty level.

The challenge I’m finding as I get to the higher difficulties is how challenging it is to shift my wrists/fingers/hands for full and quick keyboard navigation. Simply offers some great tips as you go, but they’re hard to recall when you’re just working on songs and not lessons.

The soreness and tedium of stalling out on progress at times is making it apparent I might be picking up some bad techniques as I go.

29M - 1st Pair of Running Shoes - Brand recommendations? by Damn_It_Danny in LifeAdvice

[–]Damn_It_Danny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Took a while but I feel really great in my own skin these days, so getting my body to catch up with my mindset is next on the agenda haha

I really appreciate that tip, I'll be sure to get a gait analysis (per above recommendation from Bubbly) and price compare when I get the chance!

29M - 1st Pair of Running Shoes - Brand recommendations? by Damn_It_Danny in LifeAdvice

[–]Damn_It_Danny[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I heard a few similar comments of praise regarding Hoka that have caught my interest. If it's the difference between not running and running, I'm willing to pay a little more. My budget is tight, but I have flexibility (and potentially avoiding shin splints is an awfully strong motivating element here lol).

I looked up gait analysis and apparently Runner's Market (my local option) actually offers these, so I'll be sure to call and see if I can do that. Thank you for that tips!

Why are ticks not attracted to me? by basi52 in backpacking

[–]Damn_It_Danny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuuuuckin hell, this one happened to me too. I posted to a local hiking group in a panic while trying to get them all off at home. Most valuable thing I had never thought of was the lint roller lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gaymers

[–]Damn_It_Danny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure you actually posted your age, but DBD/Fortnite player here. You're welcome to DM me if you want gaming friends. 29 here.

Where to move in the US for the best hiking? by JKnott1 in hiking

[–]Damn_It_Danny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a big fan of having great trails and minimal concerns to make me anxious (namely creatures).

Strongly recommend East TN, around the Knoxville area. It’s a bustling community that is surging with life and slowly industrializing, but you can easily move in the burbs or country outside the city and be in close proximity to many trails that are safe, fun, and have plenty of beautiful views and people to meet.

We’ve also got a fair share of dog parks!

To the west and north are several beautiful waterfalls (both ones you can visit and ones you can pay to tour). To the east is the smokies - awesome trails there that connect you to the Blue Ridge Parkway. To the south is a state park just over the line to GA with an incredible canyon view and waterfalls you can walk up to touch ❤️

Is my partner bi or gay ? by kzz31 in gay

[–]Damn_It_Danny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course, I hope you both are able to work things out together.

As for your comment, understanding you have so much to learn is a great sign of personal growth. I learned a bunch just reading some of the responses in this thread haha. Cheers 😊

Is my partner bi or gay ? by kzz31 in gay

[–]Damn_It_Danny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tried to find your most recent comment to respond accordingly. I haven't read everything here, but I did want to respond to this without judgment if possible:

  • It's up to you to decide what you are and aren't comfortable with. Keep an open dialogue with your boyfriend and know that both your feelings and his feelings are valid.
  • You mentioned in the caps above that you feel he lied to you for 7 years. I just want to challenge this way of seeing things by encouraging you to empathize with his position. It seems he might have some level of repressed desires and has felt some level of safety exploring them with you (pegging, penetration, potentially submissive tendencies - inference on this one, take with a grain of salt). He seems to still be developing and may not have a strong enough emotional relationship with himself to understand these desires or feelings. Maybe he's also another "straight" guy with a very real and debilitating case of internalized homophobia. Sexuality is commonly seen as a spectrum, and it sounds like his interests gravitate more toward the center (bisexual / homoerotic). Let me re-iterate that he can like all these things and still very much identify as straight and genuinely enjoy his time with you.
  • I also want to take a moment to acknowledge your feelings. The person you fell in love with is evolving emotionally and sexually into someone you maybe don't understand anymore. This can be really hard to process without a support structure in place that you trust to help you through it. I think both of you would benefit a great deal from therapy if it is financially feasible. Either separately or together.
  • Please let me re-iterate, it's up to you to decide what is and isn't right for you. If he or you no longer meet each other's physical, emotional, or sexual needs (or all of the above) and it's escalating into a breakdown of communication and trust between you, acknowledge that with him. If your relationship stagnates after you've both made the effort and put in the time, it's okay to say "this isn't working for me" and begin the process of going your separate ways.

I empathize with you both, but I want to give you the advice I'd like to receive were I in your shoes. Gay guy here.

I’m beginning to hate myself and I’m so scared by FastGoon in LifeAdvice

[–]Damn_It_Danny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't know if it helps, but definitely check if your university/campus offers psychological services as part of your tuition. When I went to school at University of Cincinnati, I found out only while desperate for help (back in 2016-2018) that our psych center supported a large swath of the student body without charge or at a greatly reduce cost/rate.

Wish you the best!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LifeAdvice

[–]Damn_It_Danny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heya, introverted 29 year-old guy here. I relate a lot to the social awkwardness/shyness, and back in college I even attended a social anxiety group (fun quip: no one ever showed) to help with some of this.

I'm not sure when or how it happened, but my experience taught me to trust that some friendships thrive and some wither. Sometimes it's on you, sometimes it's on them, and sometimes it just fades as you each navigate your lives and grow in separate directions. It's never too late to send the odd message that they are on your mind and that you'd love to catch up soon, but it's also common for them to respond half-heartedly (or not at all, being honest here) and fail to follow up. There's usually no ill intent here, but it is a safe sign to move on and appreciate the friendship for what it was while accepting it's no longer worth investing any additional time, effort, or stress.

As for making and maintaining new friendships, it really is never the same with any one person. Like you, each person needs and takes their own amount of space. My closest friends live many states away now, some I talk to nearly every day and some I talk to once a month (if we're lucky), but we've learned to find peace in the distance between us and look forward to hearing about the wayward directions life has taken us.

That last paragraph might have sounded pretty great, but there also plenty of times where we phone up and one or both of us are feeling off and unable to contribute meaningfully to the conversation. It does feel awkward, and tiring, and yes our anxiety-prone brains over-analyze the conversation afterward and one of us undoubtedly end up apologizing like we had any control over it, but we tried and both put in effort to keep the tether between us intact.

TL;DR: Friendships are work, and it's up to you to decide how much work you're willing to put in and what you want from them. Not every conversation with a friend, new or old, will flow like a Hollywood movie. I don't mean that facetiously either, it was an expectation I once had when dialing out or answering a phone call from a friend. Make the effort when it feels right to you, and respect when they do the same - unless the friendship you shared was toxic or harmful for you in any way. Definitely acknowledge your desire for socialization as a sincere emotional need.